Category: Life

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Life relationships

Will you still love me even if I’m not perfect?

will you still love me even if i'm not perfectWill you still love me even if I’m not perfect? Will you still love me even if I’m not the kind of person you wish I were? Will you still look into my eyes with warmth even if you saw my shadows? Will you still hold my hand even if you knew there will be times I’d let you down?

For though I yearn to take care of you as I should, though I desire to love you with a love that never falters and fades, my knees tremble this very moment that you hold me in your arms.

Shall I kiss you? Shall I hold your hand and bask in the light of your spirit knowing that I have my darkness, knowing there will be times that the light of my love will sometimes be overshadowed by the darkness that is in me?

Sometimes I’d be silent and I might bore you. I may not laugh at your jokes, and you may not understand the spell that’s enshrouding me. Sometimes I’d get troubled and I’d fail to put into words what the hell it is that troubles me. I wouldn’t be good company then, and I couldn’t make you smile.

Sometimes I’d get moody and I might not enjoy the things you’d like us to do together. Sometimes I’d lose my temper and I’d no longer act like the fine person who stands before you today. Sometimes I’d get jealous and I might say things I don’t really mean. Sometimes I’d talk too much that I might drive you away.

Sometimes I’d get touchy and I’d get easily hurt. And no matter how mature I try to be, at times I’d act in childish ways. I’d demand things I shouldn’t, I’d say things I shouldn’t say. And no matter how much I desire to protect you and make you happy, sometimes I’d be the one who’d cause you the most pain.

If you will love me I cannot promise you that I will not hurt you. I cannot promise you that I will not make you cry and that I’ll never break your heart. But if you will love me, I will bare my whole self naked before you, and I will reveal to you my soul. If you will love me, you can be certain that it is I that you will love, not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see. If you will love me, you can be certain that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me, and I in turn will love you with all of me, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my spirit, with all my flaws and beauty, and with all my very heart.

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Life

A Different Diary

A DIFFERENT DIARY

My friend and I went to the Manila Ocean Park and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon. It was so nice just having a cup of coffee while chatting and having a good view of the sea.

We’ve talked about good things, dreams, envisioned the kind of life we’d like to have.

And while we’re there, we really felt it as though all those visions were already true. Dreams were not mere dreams, but visions of a reality just within our reach and are sure to happen very soon.

I’d like to hold on to that vision I had, to that same inspiring and uplifting feeling. I’d like to take a record of it, like a picture I can go back to whenever I wish to, so I can regain my focus and remember the purposes close to my heart.

We need more of those feelings, a register of it, more than the ordinary journal we write daily, merely describing or listing that activities we had during the day.

In an ordinary journal, I might just write an entry like this:

“Went to the Manila Ocean Park. Bought souvenirs. Had capuccino at Starbucks with my friend.”

And that’s it. Now what importance would that note give to me if not accompanied by the “good feeling” I’ve had? That feeling that is almost like a prayer, a prophecy of the wonderful things soon to come?

Let us make more journals like that, a register of good feelings that can give us light when our days become too predictable and grey.

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Life

Why I Needed to Collect Coupons for a Starbucks Planner

Finally, I have redeemed my Free Starbucks Planner!  Haha, I’m proud of it and I’m very happy about it.  🙂  Whew, after a month’s time of collecting coupons, I’ve finally completed the collection to redeem my planner.  Yet what’s the big fuzz about it, you may ask.  So what?

Was it all that important to be able to collect those coupons?  Couldn’t I have bought a planner from a bookstore without the difficulty of collecting and waiting until I could get my planner?

Some people might say I could have spent less had I just bought a new planner.  Some might say its just a sales gimmick to increase the store’s income at the end of the year, and I gladly participated in it.  But then, so what?  🙂

For one thing, nobody forced me to drink all those cups of coffee I consumed to collect those coupons.  I’ve enjoyed drinking each cup, whether it be the regular capuccino or the dark cherry mocha which is one of their specials for Christmas.  Further, I’ve had a good time at the cafe branches I’ve visited, and some of those occasions were even quite productive when I was able to write fruitful articles for my blog.

Last but not the least, I was able to fulfill a sentiment I was not able to satisfy all these years that the Starbucks Planner had been made available to us coffee lovers.  You see, at Christmas season, I would have a capuccino or two, enjoy my coffee and the time I spend at the cafe.  During such times, I would be offered this coupon card where I would be given the chance to have a free Starbucks Planner if I could complete those coupons for a given period of time.

Year after year, this is what I would do.  Drink coffee, be offered free coupons, pass the opportunity to acquire a Free Planner.  Year after year, I  would have a certain feeling that I could have completed the coupons, I could have acquired the planner. I COULD HAVE.  But I never did.  Opportunity was given, but I didn’t take it.

The same thing often happens in life.  We are offered opportunities, but we refuse them, we pretend they didn’t even exist.  But somewhere at the back of our minds, we are left WONDERING.  We are left with our WHAT IFs and with WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS.

This year, even if just for this Christmas season, I wanted to take that opportunity to receive my free planner.  This year, I claim something as mine.  This year, I prove to myself that goals can be accomplished, that there are rewards received upon accomplishing those goals, and that part of such rewards is that sweet feeling of having satisfied your heart, your inner nature of knowing that blessings are always being showered upon us from above, and it is up to us to take them, and to be believe that they can be taken.

So why did I need to collect all those coupons just to redeem a Starbucks Planner?

I simply wanted that cute planner, and now I feel happy knowing that I have received what I desired!  🙂

Categories
Life

So many things can’t be explained

So many things can’t be explained

We all seek for answers, we all want to make a box and fit everything neatly inside. Yet despite all the advances in science, so many things still can’t be explained.

For instance, do you believe in love? In courage? In beauty? How should science explain all these?

Is love nothing more than the outward appearance of things? The fine arrangement of one’s molecules? And if it is not, if you tell me that love, as well as beauty consists not only of the external, how can you define it? How can you believe in that which you cannot explain?

Is courage the strength of one’s muscles or of one’s heart? And what is a heart if not more than an organ pumping blood into one’s fragile body? What makes a man courageous and what makes another man a coward? Is it courage to die for the sake of another? Why should a living organism defy nature’s law of self-preservation anyway? Why should one die for another creature which would only be tomorrow’s dust or another one’s fertilizer?

To what extent must we risk our lives? To what extent should we love? And what is love anyways?

Can you grasp it? Can you see it? Can you measure what it can do? Can you explain the reaction of the atoms of a person falling in love? Why must we love anyway? And why is there such a thing as love? Is it a power or a sickness? Is a person who loves still rational or merely crazy?

There are so many things we cannot explain, so many things our minds cannot grasp. Yet is this the most important thing?

To the person who has really known love, there are no more questions, only declarations of the salvation he has found.

Categories
Life

If I had lots of money

I was thinking what it is I really wanted to do if I had lots of money and I don’t need to go to my current job anymore. Many people already have something good in their mind, a passion like painting or music that they wanted to pursue. As for me, I couldn’t think of a single thing that I wanted to do. I mean, I also have interests like writing books and other stuff, but I just can’t get the feeling of such an intensity as to propel me there as much as it would have propelled other people. And then I thought, what I really wanted is freedom, I just wanted to be free… free to wake up late and enjoy the morning, free to spend my time with my loved ones, free to travel, free to pray, free to play, free to help other people along the way. I wanted to be free, I wanted to be more free to love.