Have you ever wondered what kind of prayer God would ever pray? You heard it right, we’re talking about God’s prayer, and you’re definitely not reading an article from an atheist, but from a sinner who truly believes in the Living God. I believe in God. I believe He listens to our every prayer. But the real question is, do we ever listen when God prays?
My beloved, why do you cry? Why do you fill your heart with gloom and hopelessness? Why do you hide from me? Why do you bear this burden that is not yours? Was the night so long you never thought it would surrender to another sunrise? Was the winter too cold you never thought you could feel warm ever again? I am deeply troubled with your troubles. I am utterly concerned that I could not sleep. I know your wounds for they are mine as well. I know your tears and I would like to take them away.
My beloved, it’s been so long since I heard your voice; so long since you poured out your heart to me. How I long to hear them once again. How I missed it! How I miss the songs you used to sing. How I miss you! How I yearn to enjoy your presence once more.
My beloved, has the world deafened the ears that used to listen to my voice? Has the noise of the world been so loud you couldn’t hear my gentle whisper? How I’d like to shout upon you like thunder! To reach out to you like the crashing waves! But it is not my way, beloved. I am not among the fire nor the lightning nor the storm. I am the soft breeze that whispers unto you with unfailing love.
I do not have the love that you have, or the patience that you have for me. I do not care if you bring me fire or thunder or rain for it is just the same! This life is not good to me. It would have been better had I not been born at all!
Why do you despise life; life that I have given you? Have I not formed you in your mother’s womb? Have I not chosen you before the birth of the earth? Have I not fashioned you intricately, passionately, wonderfully, uniquely, perfectly beyond any conceivable thought or miracle? Have I not breathed on you? Have I not given you my own heart? Have I not made you in my own glory and immortality?
I can see no beauty whatsoever in the creature that I am. There is no hope for me for I am wretched and most unfortunate of men. Men will never look upon me with admiration or respect. Men would never even notice me, for who am I? Who am I that anyone should care about me?
You say you fashioned me. You say you breathed your life unto me, but I have none. Death has more mercy for one such as me.
Why do you choose death? Why prefer darkness to light? Sorrow over joy? Despair over hope? Have I not given you freewill? Have I not given you a mind such as my own?
Freewill belongs only to those blessed upon the earth. Men such as me have no choice whatsoever. Why hope when you will be frustrated in the end? Why desire light when you cannot prevail over darkness?
My beloved, have I not given you strength? Have I not poured out Wisdom unto you? Have I not armed you with everything you need to face the battles of this world? And have I not come before you and claimed victory over the war you cannot win?
Why do you talk to me? Don’t you have any other business to take care of? Why waste your time on me when you can convince a multitude with your words? I am not your only love. I am not the only one you care about so be gone from me! I am nobody’s beloved.
Why do you not trust my heart? Do you not know the love I have for you? And why send me to the crowd when my beloved is here? I leave the ninety-nine sheep for the one I seek. For the one which can never be replaced. For the one whom I will hide in the shadow of my wings. For the one whose name is written forever in the palm of my hand.
You speak so wonderfully as though it is the truth. As though you know how I feel.
There is no truth but I. And the truth is that I have loved you so much that I despised my life so you can have yours.
What is this life you’re talking about anyway? If there is heaven, why don’t you bring me there? It is different to walk the face of the earth. It is different to face the people that I face. To struggle with the problems I’m going through. To remain standing when a thousand await for me to stumble so they can trample upon me. So they can spit on my face when they have the chance. Where is the glory you’re talking about? They do not even respect me. Where is hope when I don’t even know which road to take?
What is it that you want, my child?
What is it that you desire me to give you?
Why do you not knock upon the door which waits to be opened up for you? Why do you not ask for the grace that was meant to be yours? Why do you content yourself with garbage when you can seek a treasure, which nobody can ever take away from you?
I am just so tired and worn out. I don’t even have the strength to argue with you anymore.
Then what is it that you want, my beloved?
I’m just so lonely; I wish there could be someone to hold my hand.
He holds our hand.He carries us when we can carry on
no more.He restores our strength.
He renews us.
He picks up the broken pieces
of our hearts
and mends it
as though it were never broken at all.
God speaks, God seeks us in the darkest chambers of our hearts. God longs to hear us, to touch us and comfort us at times when we needed it most. But we are cold and tired and deaf. We hear Him knocking, but we dare not open the door. We hear Him praying, but we pretend not to have heard it, and we turn away.