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Life

Parting with my beloved cup

Today is the day I have decided to part with my beloved cup of coffee.  I almost couldn’t believe it myself!  🙁  Coffee has served me well in the past, kept me cozy in rainy days, given me a boost in my thinking and helped me in moments I desired inspiration so I can write.  Sad to say, even the most beautiful things must come to an end at times to give way to more beautiful things.

  • I am looking forward to days where I won’t need to depend on it anymore just so I could think well.
  • I am looking forward to early mornings I can rise early and easily, revitalized and without a bit of drowsiness that would require me to drink cup after cup of java from day to day.
  • I am looking forward to deep slumber and vivid dreams when caffeine would no longer interfere me in my sleep.
  • I am looking forward to gaining balance and wholeness, of more stable moods and less outbursts of temper.
  • I am looking forward to more calcium being absorbed by my body.
  • I am looking forward to less heart palpitations and more deep breaths.
  • I am looking forward to more body fluids and lesser allergy attacks.
  • I am looking forward to less bodily temperature inconveniences as coffee makes my body hotter in an already tropical country I’m living in.

Thank you coffee for everything! Wish me luck as I find a better way  🙂

questions…

Who are you? Who do you want to be? Where are you going?

Prayer of a Frustrated Writer

Lord, from you comes indeed the words of life. I write not out of my own knowledge. I write not out of my own whims. Everything I write I jot down only in behalf of you. For it is you O Lord who speaks unto me your wisdom and it is you O Lord who reveals unto me the truth. How I desire to share the things you taught me. How I pray to make known your beauty and your saving grace. Yet wretched instrument that I am, how often do I fail to reflect the Light that has come upon me. How my words fall short of the eloquence of your thoughts. I am weighed down by the darkness that still looms within me. By fears that shake the strokes of my pen. How then shall others understand? How then shall lives be touched and changed?

It is no wonder people laugh at my works and make a joke of my labors. They find all the wrong things about it and discourage me all the time for my useless pursuit. Some were courteous enough to stay silent, but I know that they read them not as well. They turn a few pages and soon fall soundly asleep. They pretend to have read it yet says not anything they learned from it. They think I’m crazy trying to do what I do. They think I waste my time with toils from which I profit not.

Yet do I waste my time indeed? And what is the profit I should seek? Is it not to be content in your Holy Presence? Is it not to learn each day from you? Is it not the healing of my own wounds as you give me words that soothe the pain of my own heart? For the gift you have given me is thy gift to me indeed. Even before its fragrance blesses others, your perfume anoints me and gives me joy I can never exchange for any profit that this world knows of. You have blessed me indeed. You have been patient with my blunders. You have given me your smile as I pushed on.

O Dear Father, let me not give up now. Help me as I hone your gifts night and day. Renew my strength as I tread the path that is both lonesome and rought, as I face struggles that are truly great and long. And if I should offer my own blood with which to write down every word, let me offer it willingly and joyfully as you have offered your own. Let me weep not for my own pain. Let me not complain for my own cross. For it is through suffering that others may be relieved, through my own wounds that others may be healed. And it is through this cross that hopes will be rekindled, bringing forth the good news of a brand new day. Amen.

DETACHMENT

 

Detachment.  Strong word.  Pretty scary word.  Given the choice, we’d avoid it, we’d put it so far below our list we’d wish we’ll never need to consider it anymore.  For whether we admit it or not, detachment brings to our minds our most dreaded fears – separation, letting go, goodbyes.   It’s as though the very word reminds us of brokenness, depravity, hurts we couldn’t even describe.

 

Yet is this the true essence of the virtue?  Is detachment a cold harsh tool that rips us off our humanity and replaces our hearts of sorrow with hearts of hardest stones?

 

It is just the opposite, my friend.  For the true essence of detachment brings us not to the barrenness of the desert   we fear so much, but to the calm undisturbed waters in the deep that neither moans nor retreats from the fast changing currents at the surface.

 

Detachment is a steady tree in the middle of a roaring storm, it is an anchor that keeps us safe and secure from the might of the crashing waves.   It guides us as we journey forth to our destinations, like the sun whose brightness never fails to shine upon us wherever we may be. It allows us to weep, yet gives us also the freedom to rejoice, trusting everything will be just fine.

 

Detachment is after all, not a detachment from the people and things we value the most, but a detachment from our own fears, from the fear of losing the ones we truly love.  

 

If we can just begin to understand, if we can just believe that God stands with us, that God provides everything we need, that God is not selfish nor covetuous of our desires and happiness, maybe we can trust that our joy will not be taken away from us without a deeper purpose nor will it be taken away from us forever.   If we can just believe that God is everywhere, and that God is in all things, maybe we can be assured that all things we hold dearly lay safely upon His hands.   Maybe we’d be comforted for we know that God is only a prayer a way, and hence, so are all things in whom He dwells.

 

Detachment therefore is not about being deprived of the good, but of being free from our burdens.  Detachment is not about letting go but of holding on so fervently and confidently, believing that no wind or storm can ever take away that which you have loved.   Detachment is not about our brokenness, but of our wholeness, of being able to protect and keep our joy whatever the external circumstances may be. 

When you want to give up

What do you do when you’re about to give up? You raise your hands in surrender to the God who will never give up on you.  🙂