My God, I can no longer recognize the face that I see in the mirror. Where was the radiant bride that stood here merely five years ago? Where was the young woman full of hope, full of love and full of the promises of a brand new life ahead of her?
For the woman who stands here now seems no longer a woman at all. Gone was the light in her eyes that used to be the envy of all. Gone was the blush on her cheeks that used to be caressed with tenderness and love. Those eyes are now swollen from endless tears. Those cheeks are now shadowed by bruises and scars.
I have been transgressed and defiled, and I have allowed it all! I have allowed it for the most cliché reason of all. O how I thought I loved him, but the truth is that I don’t even know how to love my own self. How conceited indeed can a woman be? To think that she could change the man who doesn’t even want to change himself? Am I a God who can look into the hearts of men and seek the goodness that can be drawn from each one? Even God doesn’t force us to change if we wish to be stubborn and go our own sinful ways. Indeed, I am no God, and neither is the man I have worshipped so wrongfully all these years.
My God, help me to see things as they really are, not as I would have it. Help me to forgive myself as you have forgiven me, to love myself as you have loved me. Help me to know what love really is that it may take root in my heart and that it may bear fruit for others to also find their way. I used to think that love is being able to give everything even if it hurts. God it hurt so much! But now I know that love, even if it may hurt sometimes should never be at the expense of self-respect and dignity; love, even if it may entail sacrifice should never be at the expense of being shattered and broken.
For true love, if it is true indeed always brings wholeness and peace, and bears the fruit of goodness upon all who give and receive it. Love is not a matter of control or manipulation. Love is an invitation and a gift that can only be received with openness and a grateful heart. Help me find my way O God, not only for myself but more so for my beloved children. Help me to provide for them not only their material needs, but their emotional and spiritual longings as well.
Truly I have a long way to go and a great many more battles to face, but I dare to begin now God. I begin with your forgiveness and your love. I begin with your providence and healing. Help me through it all O Lord and one day soon, I know I will be able to see that radiant and beautiful bride once again.
This prayer of a battered wife was written by HIYAS at itakeoffthemask.com
Check Jocelyn's books:
"Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief", "Mend My Broken Heart", "Questions to God", "To Love an Invisible God", "Defending My Catholic Faith", and more - click here.
(You may freely quote excerpts from this website as long as due credit is given to author Jocelyn Soriano and the website itakeoffthemask.com)
5 replies on “Battered Wife Prayer”
a wonderful prayer which I can relate in so many ways…
I think I may be in this situation at the momment but I am blinded with love for my husband.
He has a anger problem that needs to be addressed,Please pray for him to be healed..I dont want it to get worse than it already has or we have to leave him.
I cannot carry on living in fear.You never know when the greeneyed monster is going to come out.
everyone thinks hes such a wonderful guy.
I think he is,But theres something that triggers him..His parents are the only ones ive told and they said he changed after he had a surgury on his head after a fight when a teenager that left his cheek broken and cheek pushed right inside head he said his eye was comming out 😛 yuck! so they said after this the surgen in australia said he has small brain damage that may cause anger but after 3 years it should heal mostly because he was so young.His Dad said he is much better now than how he was a few years ago.
He said they made him see a pycyatrist and that I should get him checked up without him knowing to get files sent to a doctor here.But Im sure they wont release files to me?Or even to our Doctor.
Hi I am new to this website, and I am in an abusive marriage that has been for 13 years, the abuse started when my oldest son was a baby, and when my husband would start one of his fits i used to go into the bedroom and sit against the door holding my son in my arms, I would hear things hitting the wall in the living room. When I would finally come out the living room would be a mess. I would try to clean it up. I lived in denial for a long time, his first time hitting me was not so much a punch as it was smacking my face around. And threatening to get a gun.
THe next time it was grabbing me by my throat and choking me, this has been one of his main ways of grabbing me. THe last time it happened was a couple of years ago when he backhanded me with his fist. I have a hard time writing about this, I have alot of tears right now because when I talk about it I have to feel like I’m living it all over again. I have a good job right now, and he keeps tabs on me through my computer so I’m sure that he’s reading this right now. But please just say a prayer for me to find a way to get out~
Hi, I’m Joyce! I’ve read your comment from itakeoffthemask.com and I’ve just said a little prayer for you O:-) angel
Whatever happens, know that God is with you, and you will never be alone. May God grant you the wisdom to do the right thing, because God loves you so much and He wants the best for you! May God also grant you the strength to do His will so you will finally be set free to experience the life He has always wanted you to have.
There are some things that are difficult to do for the moment, but which will yield a permanent change in our lives, that’s how God often works. So don’t give up! Even when the way He is leading you now may seem hard, it will turn out for the better.
God has never turned away anyone who ever approached Him. But it is up to us to make our request and to approach Him, trusting that whatever He will do next is in accordance with His perfect Mercy and Grace.
If you need someone to talk to, do keep in touch and tell me how you’re doing. God bless you!
Yours In Prayer,
Joyce
im not in this situation right now, vut i can feel it coz its my loved one who experienced it as of now i think its getting worst im scared and dunno what to do, .