Prayer of a Lonely Husband

Lord, there’s been so much pressure in the office lately, sometimes I just want to run away from it all. The things that I do now, I do so only because I don’t know what else I should be doing. All these years I’ve been the one responsible, the one my family had counted upon to build and uphold our home. Yet things have changed somewhat since then. Changes I’ve always wanted to take place. Somehow however, after all the dreaming and after all the planning and striving, and after all the dreams that came true, I don’t really feel much better or much happier than I thought I would be. Something seems to be missing. Something that I might have lost unknowingly along the way.

What could it be lord? What have I lost when I seem to have gained so much? The kids have now grown up. They have so much energy, so many things to do I could hardly see them in the house lately. Boys, they’re young men now so full of life in their vens no toy or baked goodies can ever keep them home anymore. And Amy, she used to bother me all the time asking how much I really love her. She used to call me so often even in the middle of a meeting that I would push her to go look for something else to do. So much potential that woman has and so much love inher eyes I don’t know what she ever saw in me to adore me that way. Now she has finally adhered my advice. Just a month more and she’s about to finish her second course. She’s also found this civic group she’s spending most of her time with after school. I know she’s finally found her gifts. I miss her calls though. I miss the way she snuggles in my arms as we dream our big dreams for our little kids. We could hardly make both ends meet then, but we were cool, we were hopeful, we had each other’s hand to hold on to.

Now the only one who even cares to give me a note is my secretary, that sweet young lady who reminds me so much of Amy when she was her age. She’s getting to know me better.. she can even see the loneliness in my eyes. O how I need that kind of attention Lord! But I know that it is not from her that I should be seeking it. Lord, I know it would be foolish if I should ask you to turn back the hands of time. I’ve already been given my time and I have used it in ways I shouldn’t have spent it.

But Lord, I believe in your power and your mercy. I believe that you can still lead us over to the right pathhowever surely we have wandered along the way. Help me to walk that path once more. Show us the way to get there from where we are today. Let me catch up with the kids. Let me catch up with Amy. Somehow I was the one who pushed her to grow apart from me. I should have been there for her. I should have rejoiced in her victories. Help me Lord to make her feel how much I really love her, to let her know just how proud I am of her. Help us to spend the rest of our years together dreaming once again, new dreams that would rekindle our hopes and our trust upon each other. Help us share more little joys – more picnics,more afternoon walks, more cups of coffee in between heartfelt talks and laughter. Help me guide the kids in adating to their new lives and help us accpt the changes that have taken place as regards our relationship with them. Help us let them go. Help us find comfort in each other’s arms as we build our lives again, an old couple renewed with fresh hopes and bound by moments we will cherrish for a lifetime.
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Check Jocelyn's books:

"Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief", "Mend My Broken Heart", "Questions to God", "To Love an Invisible God", "Defending My Catholic Faith", and more - click here.

(You may freely quote excerpts from this website as long as due credit is given to author Jocelyn Soriano and the website itakeoffthemask.com)