Our question now is why we can’t often feel that we are loved as much as we wanted to be loved. Why can’t we fill that hunger to the full? Why can’t we feel that we are truly loved?
1. Because we are not showing others who we really are
Unless we are able to show our true selves, we can’t achieve true intimacy. Even if we get others to love the masks we wear, we would still feel lonely because we know that the person they love isn’t the person we really are.
This is the reason why many books about making someone fall in love with you or getting your ex back doesn’t work. These books tell only half the story. They cater to what the other person wants to see, not to how we are truly seen.
If you want to be loved as you are, you have to have the courage to reveal who you really are and to be loved for that, warts and all, strengths and weaknesses, beauty and flaws.
2. Because we are not allowing ourselves to receive love
There are many of us who would rather give love than receive love. It is good if we are not really starving for love deep within and if we are overflowing with love from a greater Source, from God. But if we are merely trying to hide that hunger and if we are afraid to ask for what we need, how could we ever receive love? Sometimes, we also have to give others the chance to care for us. Let us not let our pride get in the way of receiving love.
3. Because we are not acknowledging other people’s ways of loving us
We may not feel loved because we are not acknowledging other people’s ways of loving us. Other people may not always say that they love us, but they may show it by their works, by their loyalty and devotion. We may not always receive the most expensive gifts, but our beloved may already be giving us his very best. There are different ways of showing love, but only we could decide if we are going to receive the love we are shown.
4. Because we devote more time and attention to people who don’t really care for us
Why do we spend so much time with people who don’t really care for us? We build our world around these people and then feel shattered when we can’t receive from them all that we have expected from the start. When they tell us they don’t care, we say to ourselves, “nobody really cares”, when we know that isn’t true. Only a few people didn’t care, and their coldness blinded our eyes from receiving what other people around us can still offer us. Let us learn to let go of those people who don’t really love us and let us give more time to those who truly care.
Love isn’t always that far away. We may just be looking at different things or we may not be looking closely enough to see it.