TO DREAM AGAIN

Tell me what is the most difficult part of dreaming. Finding your dream? Persisting in reaching for them? At times my friend, these are not the most difficult part. At times my friend, it is that part when you let go of the dream you’ve worked so hard for, so you can dare to dream another dream.

It was not an easy thing for me to achieve my dream. We were but a poor family, I had no educational plan, and our sole breadwinner was my father who worked as a company driver then. The only reason I got to study in an exclusive Catholic school in high school was through a scholarship granted by the Alumni Association of the school. It was also by a scholarship that I was able to finish my Accounting Degree in college, a scholarship that fortunately continued during my review for the CPA Board Examinations. I had to study hard year after year. I had to prove again and again that I deserved my scholarship because falling just one point short of the required grades would mean the end of everything I strived so hard for. I had to give it my utmost concentration, and forget everthing else that may get in the way. I even had to forego the usual things that teenagers were supposed to enjoy: parties, night outs, romantic relationships.

I was in my last year in college when my father died; he wasn’t even there to see me graduate with honors. And he wasn’t there as well when I passed the CPA Board. The year he died until I passed the Board, our only source of income was my father’s small social security insurance, an amount that proved insufficient, and we incurred a lot of debt just so to make both ends meet.

When I finally worked as an auditor, I assumed the role of family breadwinner. It was the start of fulfilling my dreams for me and my family.

Years passed, and though I didn’t become rich, I became financially stable. I was able to see my younger siblings graduate. I was able to treat my family to places I couldn’t afford before. I was able to work in prestigious companies that enabled me to practice what I learned, to travel for free in various parts of the country, and to hope for a secured future and a stable career.

I was actually living the life I dreamt of. And I was on my way to reaching a predictable advancement in my career, probably until my retirement. Here was everything I’ve ever hoped for, the dreams I’ve worked so hard for all my life.

And yet, after achieving all these, I didn’t feel as contented as I thought I would be. I felt like something’s missing, something that would give more meaning to my life.

It is true that I was able to use what I’ve learned, but as days went on, I felt unable to share more and more of what I know. The audit reports I write may be quite useful for the company I work with, but the words they contain prove only useful for a time, and for a limited number of people. Most people can’t even understand what it says or what it’s worth. I wanted to start writing eternal and useful things for many people. I wanted to write words that heal, words that inspire, words that touch lives and bring light wherever there is darkness.

To sum it up, I had another dream, a dream so different from the one I’ve worked so hard for all these years.

Many people would call it foolishness, a risk so high that no professional in her sound mind would dare take. For why should I begin again? Why should I throw away all the skills and experiences, all the qualifications that would help me advance in my corporate career? Shouldn’t I be taking up a Master’s degree or something?

But then I asked myself, what satisfaction would I ever get in continuing what I’m doing today? No matter if I achieve a higher position this year, I would only be aiming for a higher one next year and so on. There is really no career ladder to aspire to, but a deadend for exploring the best I could yet become.

I wish I can tell you now that I’ve already made a complete transition to my desired job. But like many of you, I’m still in the process of accomplishing that change. I struggle each day to perform my office chores while trying to find time writing this article, and writing the chapters of the book I dream of leaving behind as a legacy to all that may profit from it.

It isn’t easy to dream again, and to leave behind everything you’ve accomplished. But life goes on, and it cannot go on by holding on to the things you know will not lead you farther in your journey. Each of us was borne to accomplish the task which only we can perform. The world awaits us to perform it. The world awaits us to find out what it is and dream again.

To Dream Again (a song)

I.
You’ve come so far from where you wanna go
and you reached the dreams you’ve made some time ago
as you walk along the shore
seems you couldn’t ask for more
yet the restless sea is calling you
to go and dream once more

Chorus:
What lies ahead
what lies across that restless sea
is there something that my heart should find
or someone waiting just for me
oh how would I know
I’ll never know unless I try
I’ll never know unless I dream again
with you Lord by my side

II.
You’ve wished upon a star sometime ago
yet there are millions more just waiting for your call
as you walk beneath the moon
someone waits to see you soon
and you know that you can even dance
as you build your dreams once more