Since the dawn of civilization, men have always yearned to worship a God far more superior than he is: far more powerful, all-knowing, ever living, source of all life. And whether it be the heavenly bodies he deemed as God, whether it be the sun or the moon, whether spirits unseen or mere fragments of the imagination, men have always seemed to have an inexplicable need to worship someone or something higher than his own self.I do not know if this tendency can be traced as far back as the evolution of the unique codes in our DNA, or whether this had been pre-wired in our brains for some primitive function of survival. But the undeniable fact is, men have always wanted to find his God: a God he can worship, a God he can believe in, a God who can help him whenever his strength is no longer enough.
As time went on however, as civilization thrived and progressed, more and more people started to question this belief in a Supreme Being. Science became the more reliable method of testing the validity of man’s various beliefs, and anything that can neither be explained nor proven by science was deemed unacceptable by the enlightened rational mind. Reason was therefore preferred over faith, though few have ever tried to find out what deeper reasons lay beyond the truths he has so far discovered. It is thus that man believed he has finally broken free from the shadows of his ancient bondage. He is now his own supreme ruler and no god is there to take his throne away from him.
Contrary to this feeling of liberation however, man has not entirely escaped from the shadow of his ancient beginnings. For man, arrogant as he has grown to be, continue to raise images of his own making in place of the idols his ancestors have worshipped in the past. Thus it happened that men embraced knowledge and science, incomplete and imperfect though as they are yet. Men worshipped money, unsatisfying and ungrateful as it may be. Men have bowed down to other men, only to find out later how these men can fail them in the end, for they are after all, only men, imperfect and weak such as themselves.
Neglecting and denying his deep-seated need for a God seemed not to have succeeded in making this need disappear. And in the process, men have only starved themselves to a point where they start devouring anything they chanced their hands upon, craving like mad, consuming everything in bigger and bigger quantities, drowning themselves without ever being quenched of their thirst.
Men found a peculiar kind of high in alcohol, and so they drank until they no longer knew how to be awake. Men have found substances that made them feel even a higher kind of high, and they consumed them until these substances have consumed their very minds in the end. Men have immersed themselves in the pleasures of sex, pleasures that became obsessions until they have been burned by their own lust.
It was a one way road to destruction, and man realized he has to start searching again beyond the things that can satisfy his flesh, beyond the things science can possibly grasp at the moment. Indeed, man has once again explored the unknown, that which is true, that which happens but cannot be explained. He has once more surrendered to the supernatural, and he called this paranormal. He has again entered in the realms of the spirit, seeking the missing link to his being, and there he discovered marvelous wonders about his own spirit, so wonderful he soon came upon the conclusion that the God he seeks is indeed no other than his own self!
It was thus that man found a new kind of power, an even higher high than everything else he knew before. He found out about his immortal consciousness. He found out what wonders lay waiting upon the universe if only he could call upon such powers that lay asleep within his own mind.
He tapped upon such powers. He learned to travel the various planes of the spirit world. He learned to call upon people and circumstances at will. He learned he could be in control of the world he knew and the concept of the self as God was further affirmed in his mind.
It was an exhilirating thought. The thought of being in complete control of your life and being the one responsible for everything that happens to you is something that never fails to arouse excitement upon us all. Who wouldn’t want to be the master of his own little world? Who wouldn’t want to believe he could do anything he pleases, provided he believes in himself and the untapped powers he possesses?
Such thrill however would only last as long as his thrill for his discovery of fire had lasted. For soon after he has done his stunts and his imaginings, soon after he has tasted every pleasure he thought he wanted, soon after he has played the role of the God he always needed, his unquenched need for Him will smite him as it never hit him before.
Man’s need for God will be as desperate as his need for him before. For it seemed in the nature of man to live for something other than for his own self. It seemed in the nature of man to worship, to devote his efforts for something higher than his very own life. Why then does man insist in raising oneself as the only God there truly is?
For amazing though as it sounds, this concept of the self as God seems already flawed when we realize that we are not All-Knowing as a God is supposed to be. Suppose we do have a choice as to what circumstances we will allow in our lives, as to which people we’d meet, or as to which experiences we’ll have, isn’t it true that we are limiting ourselves to the things we only know of? For how can we even desire for things that never even crossed our minds? It doesn’t sound so exciting now is it?
Taking on the role of a man who has responsibility for his own life is worth commending. But taking on the role of a God who controls his entire universe is surely more overwhelming than it seems to be. Sooner or later this thought will lead him to thinking he is the Ultimate Being there is, the only consciousness that moves, the only one that has freewill. Everybody else is a projection of his thoughts, mere puppets that move however he wants them to move. And when it all redounds to this, then what good is left in that? What happiness remains for man in that kind of life? What mysteries wait for him to ponder and unravel, to chase and seize as though they were worth greater than everything he already has?
Without even knowing it, men have already entered upon this domain. This cold and lonely domain where all that you have is you, where all that can ever happen are the things you wanted to happen, except that the things you really wanted to happen the most are the very things you can never really do.
It is no wonder then that men are tired. Tired of their relationships, tired of their dreams, tired of their very lives. For it is just so tiring to always be the one in control, to know that there is nobody you can ever rely on to but yourself. When you get tired of yourself, guess what remains to be done?
It is no wonder then that men feel so lonely. And when you’re lonely, it doesn’t matter if you have the whole world at the palm of your hands. What matters is you have someone with you who understands, another soul who listens, another spirit that touches your aching heart.
It is no wonder then that men feel lost. For if they cannot guide themselves, who is there to help them find their way? A broken piece of glass surely cannot fix itself. A seed unprompted by rain and sun will not grow and break free from the ground, but remain ignorant of the world above he knew nothing of.
In the deepest recessest of his spirit, man’s greatest desire is to find his God. And if he cannot satisfy this need, man was doomed from the moment he was conceived.
We need a God who loved us first, who fashioned us intricately, uniquely and passionately, who awaited our very birth in revelry and awe. We need a God who knows us and understands us, and will never leave us no matter what! We need a God who walks before us, guiding us every small step of the way. A God who is our stronghold in times of need, our refuge and peace in times of trouble. A God who will seek us when we’re lost and will never ever give up until we are found.
To a certain extent, we really are responsible for our own lives. And God had just been so generous to bless us with faculties that can bring us wherever we desire to go. But I also believe that I do not know everything yet, that I get tired sometimes, that I can get so lonely. And when I do, I would need a hand to hold on to, a heart that would understand. And I know that during those times, I cannot be content holding only my own hand, or seeing only my own perspective. I would need someone to hold my hand and tell me everything will be just fine. I would need somene who would tell me things I do not know yet. I would need a God who can intervene and guide me whenever I stumble and fall astray.
Check Jocelyn's books:
"Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief", "Mend My Broken Heart", "Questions to God", "To Love an Invisible God", "Defending My Catholic Faith", and more - click here.
(You may freely quote excerpts from this website as long as due credit is given to author Jocelyn Soriano and the website itakeoffthemask.com)