I sometimes feel frustrated in trying to find the thin line between being independent (loving myself) and being able to belong (loving others). I get frustrated because whenever I try to break out of my shell and reach out to other people, I find my efforts are often not really needed, if not too demanding of others.
You see, whenever I think of loving others, I get into this ideal mode in my mind that says, “I care for you and you care for me. We care for each other. My actions aren’t only for myself and so are your actions. In everything that we do, we take one another into consideration.”
So guess what happens when someone performs an action that does not consider the other - “me”! I feel terribly disappointed. Even if it’s the other way around where I’m not able to do what I think is “expected” of me, I feel bad not being able to do my part.
Feeling terrible as this, I then wonder if reaching out and trying to form relationships is really worth it. Wouldn’t it be easier to just care for yourself? In that way, you wouldn’t expect anything of anyone. Also, nobody would expect anything from you.
Yet what kind of life will that be? While it is true that you wouldn’t have troubles or misunderstandings that way, you wouldn’t feel warmth or connection as well. You’d feel cold and empty and life will be very boring as well, a life that isn’t worth living.
In the end, it all redounds to balance, which is not so easy to achieve. I guess I just have to carry on, learning from each mistake, each little triumph, forging relationships that may not be perfect, but which fills the heart with warmth and a lot of joy.
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“I hope that you will persevere
Until the very end,
Because it is only then
That you will find out
That the end is but the beginning
Of the realization
Of your dreams.”
Persevere in prayer. Persevere in your hope. Persevere in your faith. He who cannot persevere has not truly BELIEVED fro
I bare my nakedness
To the world,
That the world may see who I am;
Not the mask that hides my flaws,
Not the mask that hides my beauty.
I bask in the light
And I take off the mask!
You can never find true happiness until you become true to who you really are. Many people wear masks to hide ev
“The road to salvation
is the road to faith;
Seek now the answers to your questions,
ask for guidance and whatever it is that can fill your doubts.
God cannot save you.
Only your faith in God ever can.”
What do you believe in? Is your faith strong enough?
Some people believe in God, some
(Philosophy Happiness)
WHY ONLY COURAGEOUS PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY
Your hope, your love, your faith.
Everything’s going to be tested,
And none shall pass the test
Without courage.
How brave are you really? Are you brave enough to be courageous even if all ounce of courage seemed to have left your h
Who are my friends?
Are they the ones
Who never hurt me
And never let me down?
Are they the ones
Who are always there
And will never leave me alone?
Let me not seek my God
In my friends
For I shall only be disappointed
Only this I know:
That friends are precious gifts
And despite all their weaknes
While faith
Is that steady hand
Your spirit holds on to,
HOPE is that burning fire
Kept alive in your own heart.
Hope is not the property of depressed people. People are depressed because they have lost their hope.
No matter how other people try to convince them to think more positively, to moti
"ACCEPTANCE"
To accept
what has been
what IS
and what will be,
To be able to stand
immovable
and unshakable
as a mighty rock
that does not complain
nor wince out loud,
To be able to accept everything
and still stand,
is to truly possess
great power.
It is when things
have already been counted as lo
“Passion is not only a fire
That burns within the heart,
It is a flame that consumes
Both heart and mind,
Both spirit and soul
Such that one is able to do
What one has never done before!”
People who practice their passion are happy. They do not have to wait before the whole world acknowle
Will you still love me even if I'm not perfect? Will you still love me even if I'm not the kind of person you wished I were? Will you still look into my eyes with warmth even if you saw my shadows? Will you still hold my hand even if you knew there will be times I'd let you down?
For though I yea
I will go through this life only once,
and I shall have but one chance to live;
Not all people will like me,
others may even despise me,
as I may not be easily understood;
Yet I will take this chance to live,
and I will reach out in ways I know;
I will love those whom I can,
and I will strive to un
This is a tricky one I think. I think our true self involves our social nature. There is also our tendency to love who we think the other person is rather than who they are. (There is also the tendency to love who we think we are rather than who we are.)
If we can welcome our disagreements (not expressed violently) I have found that we can move to much deeper relationships through our differences as well as our similarities.
Maybe we shouldn’t have any expectation… if you give/love the other, do it because YOU want to, but don’t expect that they have to do anything back for you. Then you will be happy by giving/loving and not frustrated. And if you don’t want to be just on your own, that’s fine too. That’s your choice.
Here are a few words from chapter 11 from The Anthem (Ayn Rand)… I really like them…
“I owe nothing to my brothers, nor do I gather debts from them. I ask none to live for me, nor do I live for any others. I covet no man’s soul, nor is my soul theirs to covet.
I am neither foe nor friend to my brothers, but such as each of them shall deserve of me. And to earn my love, my brothers must do more than to have been born. I do not grant my love without reason, nor to any chance passer-by who may wish to claim it. I honor men with my love. But honor is a thing to be earned.
I shall choose friends among men, but neither slaves nor masters. And I shall choose only such as please me, and them I shall love and respect, but neither command nor obey. And we shall join our hands when we wish, or walk alone when we so desire. For in the temple of his spirit, each man is alone. Let each man keep his temple untouched and undefiled. Then let him join hands with others if he wishes, but only beyond his holy threshold.”
The first two comments are interesting, and say much of what I would have said here (so why be redundant?!). I used to think as you did, and some days still do. What I’ve come to discover, though, is that I grow the most - and learn the most about myself - through relationships with others. And I read something recently that said our hearts are here to connect with other hearts, not stay solitary.
I don’t suppose you watch Grey’s Anatomy, do you? Last week’s episode sort of epitomized what I’m trying to say here. A newborn premie was struggling to live, and its vitals were dropping, so one of the doctors (who apparently had nothing else to do for 12 hours), picked the baby up and held it to his heart. The baby’s vitals improved dramatically.
I’ve read other studies about the importance of human touch to our overall well-being, as well.
Makes me think.
Good luck and loads of love to you!
@Suzanna - Hi, Suzanna! I read what you’ve written. Thanks for the lovely words you’ve shared here. It’s a good thing to remember how we choose people around us, not as slaves nor masters, but as brothers bonded in respect and love.
Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
D. T on 
melon on 
Joyce on 
This is a tricky one I think. I think our true self involves our social nature. There is also our tendency to love who we think the other person is rather than who they are. (There is also the tendency to love who we think we are rather than who we are.)
If we can welcome our disagreements (not expressed violently) I have found that we can move to much deeper relationships through our differences as well as our similarities.
Maybe we shouldn’t have any expectation… if you give/love the other, do it because YOU want to, but don’t expect that they have to do anything back for you. Then you will be happy by giving/loving and not frustrated. And if you don’t want to be just on your own, that’s fine too. That’s your choice.
Here are a few words from chapter 11 from The Anthem (Ayn Rand)… I really like them…
“I owe nothing to my brothers, nor do I gather debts from them. I ask none to live for me, nor do I live for any others. I covet no man’s soul, nor is my soul theirs to covet.
I am neither foe nor friend to my brothers, but such as each of them shall deserve of me. And to earn my love, my brothers must do more than to have been born. I do not grant my love without reason, nor to any chance passer-by who may wish to claim it. I honor men with my love. But honor is a thing to be earned.
I shall choose friends among men, but neither slaves nor masters. And I shall choose only such as please me, and them I shall love and respect, but neither command nor obey. And we shall join our hands when we wish, or walk alone when we so desire. For in the temple of his spirit, each man is alone. Let each man keep his temple untouched and undefiled. Then let him join hands with others if he wishes, but only beyond his holy threshold.”
The first two comments are interesting, and say much of what I would have said here (so why be redundant?!). I used to think as you did, and some days still do. What I’ve come to discover, though, is that I grow the most - and learn the most about myself - through relationships with others. And I read something recently that said our hearts are here to connect with other hearts, not stay solitary.
I don’t suppose you watch Grey’s Anatomy, do you? Last week’s episode sort of epitomized what I’m trying to say here. A newborn premie was struggling to live, and its vitals were dropping, so one of the doctors (who apparently had nothing else to do for 12 hours), picked the baby up and held it to his heart. The baby’s vitals improved dramatically.
I’ve read other studies about the importance of human touch to our overall well-being, as well.
Makes me think.
Good luck and loads of love to you!
We can only love others to the capacity we love ourselves. You can’t give something you don’t have.
@Suzanna - Hi, Suzanna! I read what you’ve written. Thanks for the lovely words you’ve shared here. It’s a good thing to remember how we choose people around us, not as slaves nor masters, but as brothers bonded in respect and love.
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