“The most painful tears we cried, were the tears we cried in silence…”
When was the last time you cried? When was the last time your cried your tears in silence? You must have felt deeper pain. You must have hurt so much more.
People often do not know the silent tears that we cried. They think we’re ok when we’re really crying and hurting deep within.
Some of the reasons why we may cry in silence are:
- We don’t want to appear weak and thereby be avoided by other people
- We don’t want to add burden or worry to those who love us
- We know we would not be understood anyways and crying will only complicate things
The tears cried in silence are more painful because those tears were those that are most alone. Hidden from the world, it remains unrecognized and uncomforted.
It would have been a lot easier to cry with people who can support you. It would have been easier if everybody knew what you’re going through.
But when you cry in silence, you’re all alone in your tears. People may even judge you because they don’t understand that you’re already trying the best you could.
In some instances, you may even have tried to tell people how you’re already hurting, but they don’t believe you or they refuse to believe you. They may think you’re merely trying to seek attention or that you’re just seeking an excuse from doing something they expected you to do.
Here is a quote from the book Surviving Depression:
“I don’t know why I want to cry. When my friends and I go out to dinner sometimes I tell them how I am feeling. As soon as I start, they say, ‘Do we have to listen to that again? Get over it. Everybody has something to deal with.’ I just want someone to listen to me.” (Cherrie)
“Try harder, be brave, don’t be such a cry baby.” And so you’re hurt all the more by the things that people say.
During such times, it is even more painful because you have no choice but to cry silently. Your tears have been rejected, and so you must cry them all alone.
Below is an excerpt from the true personal experience of Sister Faustina when she was suffering from a grave illness (Diary of the Divine Mercy):
After breakfast, the Sister Infirmarian came along and asked, “Sister, why didn’t you go to Mass?”
I answered that I couldn’t. She shook her head disdainfully and said, “Such a great Feast Day, Sister, and you don’t even go to Mass!” and she left my cell.
I had been in bed for two days, writhing in pain, and she hadn’t visited me; and when she did come, on the third day, she did not even ask if I were able to get up, but asked irritably why I hadn’t got up for Mass…and all my tears flowed silently toward the Heart of Him who alone understands what pain and suffering is.
There is One, who will always understand and see your tears for what they really are. God is there in all your silent cries, catching your every tear and honoring them, even sharing His own tears for you.
“You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.”
Know that you are never truly alone. In times when you feel like there’s no one who is willing to listen to your cries, offer your every tear to God. He hears your silent cries and keeps them safely within His own wounded heart.
There are times when I feel
as though nobody knows
what I’m going through –
how sad it is, how empty
how I struggle with pain
that almost overpowers me.
Yes there are times when I’m tempted
to think I’m all alone,
but GOD SEES.
“Yet the most difficult things are not those seen and known by the world but those deep within your soul, unseen and unknown by anyone except Jesus. It is in this secret place that you experience a little trial that you would never dare to mention to anyone else and that is more difficult for you to bear than martyrdom.” – Streams in the Desert