Intimacy doesn’t start with melting into another person’s being.
It starts with knowing who you are and being the whole person you are. After which, you are ready to lay bare your soul before another person.
When that person sees all of who you are and accepts you and loves every little bit of you, then you begin to know what closeness really means.
You finally experience intimacy.
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7 replies on “What is Intimacy?”
Building intimacy is a matter of both partners working on open communication and trust above all else. Intimacy is the best thing you’ll ever experience in life. But it is up to you to allow it to happen. And that simply means doing the things that allow it to manifest, without fear.
I disagree. I think intimacy is opening yourself to examination to someone and listening to what they have to say whether they have concerns or compliments. It’s a lot more difficult to examine yourself and have a sense of your true identity only from your own subjective observations. Intimacy for me was letting go of my attempt to create my identity in my head and to let others inform me of what they see, and decide what to do about it after (reject or accept it, do something to change it or embrace it, etc). Most of the time they point out things that I just didn’t notice about myself. Only the intimacy of letting them see me without facade and listen to their thoughts lets me see the whole picture.
I disagree. I think intimacy is opening yourself to examination to someone and listening to what they have to say whether they have concerns or compliments. It’s a lot more difficult to examine yourself and have a sense of your true identity only from your own subjective observations. Intimacy for me was letting go of my attempt to create my identity in my head and to let others inform me of what they see, and decide what to do about it after (reject or accept it, do something to change it or embrace it, etc). Most of the time they point out things that I just didn’t notice about myself. Only the intimacy of letting them see me without facade and listen to their thoughts lets me see the whole picture.
http://www.lifeofcarla.blogspot.com
but I agree with Charina.
http://www.lifeofcarla.blogspot.com
I think Charina and Carla agree – open communication includes being open to examination and criticism by others.
I struggled for 14 years to get my partner to open up to me. He had low self-esteem and I guess didn’t know where to start in terms of being who he was – he was crushed by his patriarchal father etc. Now it turns out that the man I thought, despite his many faults, was good – has been with prostitutes. I found this out in January and am reading this site today because I am still crying about it – 3 months down the line.
It’s such a pity that some people will never open up. It hurts other people.
@Christine – Oftentimes Christine, we are hurt by the people who carry their own hurts inside their hearts. Hurt people hurt people. Often too, we don’t know how we could help them, no matter how hard we try. Times like that, even if a lot of people no longer believe in prayer, I pray and connect with God. Because I know that He is the only one who can touch the hearts of those whom I love. Prayer helps, in ways we never thought possible. Be blessed!