Author: Jocelyn Soriano

See her books like "Questions to God", "Mend My Broken Heart", "To Love an Invisible God", "Defending My Catholic Faith", "Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief" and more - click here.

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(You may freely quote excerpts from this website as long as due credit is given to author Jocelyn Soriano and the website itakeoffthemask.com)

Categories
Life

I Call Her Peace

I call her peace: the tranquility my soul receives each time I come into her presence, seeking refuge from the raging storms around me; a reflection of my more refined self, my silent self, which has already learned to master her quietness, and which has learned to accept who and what she is, and be thankful for all the things she has. I see in her contentment and uniqueness, a uniqueness that is not ashamed to stand unbowed amidst the ways of the world. And when everything else is confusion, I find much relief and blessing in a spirit that sees all things as simple. How easier it is indeed to go back to the basics of life and appreciate once more what is essential – trust and faith and hope and love. Surely, this spirit is me, stripped of all my uncertainties and wanderings.
Categories
Life

Life Statement

I will go through this life only once,
and I shall have but one chance to live;
Not all people will like me,
others may even despise me,
as I may not be easily understood;
Yet I will take this chance to live,
and I will reach out in ways I know;
I will love those whom I can,
and I will strive to understand them more;
Not all days will bring me sunshine,
so I will rejoice also for the rain;
Not every endeavor will be a success,
but I will savor the victories I achieve;
Not all dreams I dream will be mine,
but in time new dreams will fill my heart,
and as from a star
those hopes will propel me forward
doing everything the best way I know I can;
No fear shall trample me whatsoever,
though some tasks seem to outweigh my strength;
I will only do what I have to do,
and God will take care of the rest!

-Jocelyn Soriano (itakeoffthemask.com)

Categories
Life

What is a WOMAN?

A woman is an inspiration, a source of light and a bearer of life; bringer of joy and of peace; weaver of harmony and ambassadress of understanding. It is to her that you come for comfort – in the softness of her breast and in the unselfishness of her caring arms. It is to her that you reveal your wounds for you know that they shall not be judged but accepted with strength and healed with a grace that asks for nothing in return. She is that which persuades you to reach your highest dreams and to believe in your best possible self. She is that which completes the song of your soul and calm the troubles of your mind. That in her frailty you may find your strength, and in her tears you may vanquish the sorrow of your own heart.

Categories
Healing

When GOD PRAYS

when God prays 2012Have you ever wondered what kind of prayer God would ever pray? You heard it right, we’re talking about God’s prayer, and you’re definitely not reading an article from an atheist, but from a sinner who truly believes in the Living God. I believe in God. I believe He listens to our every prayer. But the real question is, do we ever listen when God prays?

My beloved, why do you cry? Why do you fill your heart with gloom and hopelessness? Why do you hide from me? Why do you bear this burden that is not yours? Was the night so long you never thought it would surrender to another sunrise? Was the winter too cold you never thought you could feel warm ever again? I am deeply troubled with your troubles. I am utterly concerned that I could not sleep. I know your wounds for they are mine as well. I know your tears and I would like to take them away.

No reply.

My beloved, it’s been so long since I heard your voice; so long since you poured out your heart to me. How I long to hear them once again. How I missed it! How I miss the songs you used to sing. How I miss you! How I yearn to enjoy your presence once more.

No reply.

My beloved, has the world deafened the ears that used to listen to my voice? Has the noise of the world been so loud you couldn’t hear my gentle whisper? How I’d like to shout upon you like thunder! To reach out to you like the crashing waves! But it is not my way, beloved. I am not among the fire nor the lightning nor the storm. I am the soft breeze that whispers unto you with unfailing love.

I do not have the love that you have, or the patience that you have for me. I do not care if you bring me fire or thunder or rain for it is just the same! This life is not good to me. It would have been better had I not been born at all!

Why do you despise life; life that I have given you? Have I not formed you in your mother’s womb? Have I not chosen you before the birth of the earth? Have I not fashioned you intricately, passionately, wonderfully, uniquely, perfectly beyond any conceivable thought or miracle? Have I not breathed on you? Have I not given you my own heart? Have I not made you in my own glory and immortality?

I can see no beauty whatsoever in the creature that I am. There is no hope for me for I am wretched and most unfortunate of men. Men will never look upon me with admiration or respect. Men would never even notice me, for who am I? Who am I that anyone should care about me?

You say you fashioned me. You say you breathed your life unto me, but I have none. Death has more mercy for one such as me.

Why do you choose death? Why prefer darkness to light? Sorrow over joy? Despair over hope? Have I not given you freewill? Have I not given you a mind such as my own?

Freewill belongs only to those blessed upon the earth. Men such as me have no choice whatsoever. Why hope when you will be frustrated in the end? Why desire light when you cannot prevail over darkness?

My beloved, have I not given you strength? Have I not poured out Wisdom unto you? Have I not armed you with everything you need to face the battles of this world? And have I not come before you and claimed victory over the war you cannot win?

Why do you talk to me? Don’t you have any other business to take care of? Why waste your time on me when you can convince a multitude with your words? I am not your only love. I am not the only one you care about so be gone from me! I am nobody’s beloved.

Why do you not trust my heart? Do you not know the love I have for you? And why send me to the crowd when my beloved is here? I leave the ninety-nine sheep for the one I seek. For the one which can never be replaced. For the one whom I will hide in the shadow of my wings. For the one whose name is written forever in the palm of my hand.

You speak so wonderfully as though it is the truth. As though you know how I feel.

There is no truth but I. And the truth is that I have loved you so much that I despised my life so you can have yours.

What is this life you’re talking about anyway? If there is heaven, why don’t you bring me there? It is different to walk the face of the earth. It is different to face the people that I face. To struggle with the problems I’m going through. To remain standing when a thousand await for me to stumble so they can trample upon me. So they can spit on my face when they have the chance. Where is the glory you’re talking about? They do not even respect me. Where is hope when I don’t even know which road to take?

What is it that you want, my child?

No reply.

What is it that you desire me to give you?

No reply.

Why do you not knock upon the door which waits to be opened up for you? Why do you not ask for the grace that was meant to be yours? Why do you content yourself with garbage when you can seek a treasure, which nobody can ever take away from you?

I am just so tired and worn out. I don’t even have the strength to argue with you anymore.

Then what is it that you want, my beloved?

I’m just so lonely; I wish there could be someone to hold my hand.

He holds our hand.He carries us when we can carry on
no more.He restores our strength.
He renews us.
He picks up the broken pieces
of our hearts
and mends it
as though it were never broken at all.

God speaks, God seeks us in the darkest chambers of our hearts. God longs to hear us, to touch us and comfort us at times when we needed it most. But we are cold and tired and deaf. We hear Him knocking, but we dare not open the door. We hear Him praying, but we pretend not to have heard it, and we turn away.

Categories
Life

OUR DEEPEST DESIRES

When I was a child, I was so sure of the things I wanted. I knew that my favorite color was red; my favorite subject was science; my favorite friend was my schoolmate, Malou.As I grew up however, things began to change so fast I didn’t even notice what changes had been taking place inside of me. For all the myriad of things I had to learn, and for all the complicated ideas that had been thrusted at me, that little child soon became buried and forgotten, her voice silenced by the noise of other people’s voices – voices I have allowed to enter my own heart.

“You should do this and that.”

“You have to talk like this and that.”

“You should not aspire as high as that – that’s crazy!”

And what do you know? I was soon believing these voices that do not even care enough about me.

I tried to do what the Church deemed right, what the society declared acceptable. I took note of every rule and of every command and still, I couldn’t deny the emptiness that started gnawing at my soul.

I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t living the life I thought I should be living. And even then, the voices did not stop yelling at me.

“You should be happy.”

“You should count your blessings and be content of what you have.”

Can you believe it? They are trying to impose upon me even my own happiness!

I felt something’s terribly wrong, so terribly wrong. Yet it still took me quite a while before I started looking deep within me because I had been conditioned to be afraid.

I was afraid that if I’d look inside, I might find out how evil I really am. Being evil and all, I was afraid that the things I really really desire would not be the same as God’s will for me. Worse, I was afraid to hate God if I find out He doesn’t want me to be happy, that He created me only to suffer and live a life of holy misery, away from all the things I desire, the things that would make me happy.

I was an idiot to even consider these things, but then even idiots get angry, and even idiots find courage to overcome their fears when they get to be angry enough.

Well I got angry enough. Angry enough to ask myself what it is I really want! Of course after all the years of covering them up, it wasn’t that easy to dig them up again. It was a real struggle, and it took me quite a while to see what’s really there. But the deeper you look, the more you wanted to see what’s down there, in the very heart of your being.

And when I finally saw it, when I finally knew what’s there all along, I felt such a great shame all over me. I was so ashamed of being the idiot that I was! Yet it is not because I saw the evil I was afraid to find, but because I saw somewhere in there, in the deepest part of my heart, a sacred seed that God had planted all along.

Our deepest truest desires after all, are not the bad things we thought we wanted to do, but rather, in its purest form, our deepest desires are the holiest part of us, at the very core of our being.

Those desires are so in tune with the will of God that we need not be afraid of God’s disapproval. We need not be afraid of seeking them because it is God’s very will for us to find them so that our joy may be complete.

Indeed, our deepest desires are those that will truly make us happy. Our problem lies in the fact that we have accumulated so much dirt through the years that we believe it to be the desires we’re looking for, when they are not. But underneath this covering is a sacred place, a chamber wherein lies our true desires.

If we can only strive to be true to ourselves, we are sure to find them. And when we find them, we will learn that God wanted us to be happy all along!