Author: Jocelyn Soriano

See her books like "Questions to God", "Mend My Broken Heart", "To Love an Invisible God", "Defending My Catholic Faith", "Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief" and more - click here.

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Categories
Poems

Scars (a poem on grief)

Scars poem of griefScars, people speak of them
as though they’re the most wretched thing
there could be,
reminding them of wounds,
reminding them of hurts,
bringing back those days
they’d rather just forget.

But the scars you’ve left me,
are not at all like those.
The scars you’ve left me,
are like jewels that I hold.

Those scars from you
are like fragments out of space and time,
they’re like portals
where I could reach you one more time.

I’d choose those scars over gold,
for gold is nothing without one’s soul.
I’d choose those scars though tinged with pain,
for I’d take the pain for all that I’d gain.

You may not walk again with me,
and I may not hear your voice,
But when I touch those scars,
I’m brought again to where you are.

The above poem is included in Jocelyn Soriano’s book for those who grieve the loss of a loved one “Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief”. Get it from Amazon today—click here.

 

Categories
Spirituality

Can You Stay With the Bleeding Heart of Jesus?

The Most Sacred Heart of JesusWhy is the sacred heart of Jesus bleeding? Because He hurts for our hurts and He aches for the pain of our wounded hearts.

Sometimes I just want to lay still and let my heart feel those hurts, too. Without words and without any outer movement, but just laying still and letting my heart be one with those who suffer. Letting my heart ache in unison with His.

Dear Jesus, how can Your Heart contain all the sorrows of the world?

Somehow, I’m starting to realize a deeper aspect in our mission of comforting others. To comfort does not mean to immediately render actions that would heal. Sometimes it also means that one first sees another person’s suffering and then finding the courage and the gentleness to stay with that person in one’s deepest grief.

“Could you not watch one hour with me?” — Matthew 26:40, DRA

Today, if you find yourself at the foot of the crucified Christ, and you remember that you have no power to pull out the nails that pierced His hands and His feet. If you could do nothing to take away even the crown of thorns upon His bloody head, look at His sorrowful Mother and pray that you may have the grace to follow her.

In silence and in total surrender to God, lay still and stay where you are. Be with Jesus at His most painful hour. Be in His holy presence when His Most Sacred Heart is pierced by a lance.

Stay still and bear the suffering of Your King.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” — Henri J.M. Nouwen

Categories
Poems

Linear Time (a poem on grief)

Since you passed away,
I no longer live
In linear time.
I no longer see each day
The ordinary way,
Living each hour
From morning until night.

Since you passed away,
I’m often snatched from
The current hour
Snatched into the past
Where you were,
Back into that moment
When we can be
Face to face
And I’d behold your gaze
For as long as I could stay.

Since you passed away,
I sometimes move
Into the future
Where I see glimpses
Of what could have been,
You and me walking hand in hand,
In a different future
Where I never lost you
Where you were never gone.

Time is different for me now,
And I guess it would never
Be the same.
How could it be the same
When you have taken
Away my heart?

And thus I live
From day to day
From morning until night,
Moving back and forth through time,
Catching a glimpse of you
Beyond time
Beyond space
Beyond everything that keeps me
From going back to you.

The above poem is included in Jocelyn Soriano’s book for those who grieve the loss of a loved one “Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief”. Get it from Amazon today—click here.

Categories
Book Review

STEPPING UP

How A Catholic Millennial Learned the Value of Redemptive Suffering

Have you ever asked how a good God could let bad things happen? Where is God in the midst of suffering? Is there any hope left for me?

On May 22, 2019, Caitie Crowley was an ordinary 24-year-old driving home from work, and then next moment her life would be changed forever. Caitie was in a traumatic car accident on her way home from work and almost lost her life. She couldn’t walk for 10 months. She took that time to write about her experiences and how her faith in God carried her through her pain. Her book, Stepping Up: How Christ Turned My Pain & Suffering Into Hope & Joy, takes the reader through Caitie’s physical struggle of learning to walk again and her interior struggle of learning to walk with God through the cross.

LIFE BEFORE

Prior to her traumatic car accident, Caitie was an ordinary 24-year-old girl. She was working at a marketing agency while attending graduate school at Northwestern University. Additionally, dance had always been a huge part of her life. She danced competitively in high school and a year in college, and she continued to place a high importance on fitness, usually working out six days a week. Caitie was dating, enjoying hobbies, and her Catholic faith was also very important to her. She went to weekly mass, adoration, and bible study. In just one moment, except for her faith, all of these aspects of her life were taken.

THE IMPACT

In her book, Stepping Up, Caitie recounts a vivid description of the accident, including asking Jesus for forgiveness as her car was rolling. She felt excruciating pain and expected to die. By God’s grace, she didn’t; however, she was left with multiple injuries. Caitie was hospitalized for 11 days, was in a wheelchair for 10 weeks, and couldn’t walk without braces and assisted devices for nearly a year. With surgery and therapy, pain and suffering lasted for two years, and she continues to improve each and every day. 

“There were many long, difficult days. Days where nothing seemed to change, nothing seemed to get better,” relayed Crowley. “I didn’t know if I was ever going to get better. Despite all circumstances that seemed rather bleak, I knew I had to put my trust in God.”

GUIDE TO SUFFERING WELL

Her book focuses not only on her medical and rehabilitation journey but also on redemptive suffering. That is that even through difficulty there is hope and that even through difficulty God can bring good out of it.

“This book isn’t just for people that have gone through a traumatic car accident. Whether it’s cancer, divorce, a sick child — you can take themes out of my book to help you during your crosses and to say, ‘Even when it seems hopeless, there’s hope,’” described Crowley.

SUFFERING PRODUCES FRUIT

“It’s amazing to think about how I felt then and what was still yet to come. I wouldn’t have believed it if you told me at the beginning,” remarked Crowley. “I realized that God permitted my suffering, but He didn’t cause it. However, He used every drop of it for greater good. I’m confident that He used it for the salvation of souls, the salvation of my own soul, and many tangible fruits that I’m seeing unfold in my life.”

A year and a half after the traumatic car accident, Crowley went on to graduate summa cum laude in information design and strategy from Northwestern University and landed her dream job doing human resource communications at a Fortune 100 company.

HANG ONTO HOPE

Even if you can’t see what is ahead and you don’t see how things could ever get better, through Him, you can find hope when it appears hopeless. Caitie’s book is available for purchase on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1952464951/

Caitie Crowley is a Catholic millennial. By God’s grace, she graduated Summa Cum Laude with her Master of Science in Information Design and Strategy with a Content Strategy concentration from Northwestern University. She is an HR communications representative at a Fortune 100 company and has also done writing for The Catholic Post, FOCUS-SEEK21, Live Action, Human Life Action, and Human Defense Initiative. You can get in touch with Caitie on Twitter (@CaitieCrowley) or via email (caitiecrowley@gmail.com).

Categories
Spirituality

To Love Is to Risk Being Hurt

“To love means to open ourselves to suffering. Shall we shut our doors to love, then and ‘be safe'” – Elisabeth Elliot, The Path of Loneliness

One idea that has often kept me from loving Jesus more is the idea that Jesus doesn’t need anything from me. He is God after all, and God is Perfect. And somehow, I’ve found it difficult to love Someone who is perfect.

It may sound absurd, but somehow, I find it easier to love beings such as me, people who are imperfect. People who need something. People who crave for love and whose hearts are broken when their love is not returned.

With another imperfect person, I feel that I could do something of worth. I can care for that person and protect that person from harm. I can avoid doing things that could hurt him or her.

But with God, how do I even begin to love? If He doesn’t need anything from me, what more could I possibly do?

It is only much later when I’ve realized the flaw in my line of thinking. Why did I ever believe that God doesn’t need my love or that He wouldn’t be hurt when His love is not returned?

Mother Teresa spoke about the thirst of Jesus, this thirst that isn’t physical but a real thirst for love:

“Jesus is God, therefore His Love and His Thirst are infinite. He, the Creator of the universe, asked for the love of his creatures. He has thirst for our love … These words: ‘I THIRST’ … Do they echo in our soul?”

God didn’t need to need us, but He chose to. He didn’t need to be hurt, but He allowed Himself to be vulnerable for the sake of love.

In the diary of St. Faustina, we can read the following words from Jesus:

“Oh, how painful it is to Me that souls so seldom unite themselves to Me in Holy Communion. I wait for souls, and they are indifferent toward Me. I love them tenderly and sincerely, and they distrust Me. I want to lavish My graces on them, and they do not want to accept them. They treat Me as a dead object, whereas My Heart is full of love and mercy. In order that you may know at least some of My pain, imagine the most tender of mothers who has great love for her children, while those children spurn her love. Consider her pain. No one is in a position to console her. This is but a feeble image and likeness of My love.”

Jesus allowed Himself to be born as a human being. As a baby, He needed the protection of His earthly mother and father. As a man, He underwent pain and suffering from the people who mocked Him, from those who crucified Him, and even from His friends who deserted Him.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.”-C.S. Lewis

Jesus chose to love us and in loving us, risked being hurt for the sake of love.

May I no longer think of God as One who is unreachable, cold and indifferent to us. May I never think that He is One who never gets hurt when His love is unreturned.

God is Love. Love that proves itself in suffering, even to the point of dying for His beloved ones.
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”-John 15:13, WEBBE