I got very stressed yesterday. I was utterly down, and I guess I wanted to be down. I wanted to know what will happen when I’m down. Will somebody lift me up? Will somebody make me laugh and distract me from my woes? I knew I acted childishly, and I just let anger consume me to the point that I really cried.
Well, crying helped somehow, but it didn’t help me much to get over my “downness”. I feel sad that when I start behaving like this, and when I’m not my “responsible” self anymore, no one seems to take on the role of being responsible for me. No one seems to notice where I’m spiraling downwards into.
But I guess that’s really what it is, a spiral downwards. Anger, fear, negativism, they magnify each moment you let them in, and the more you entertain them, the harder it is to float back into the surface and breathe.
Yet for what it’s worth, I’ve realized God didn’t really let me down at all. For in the evening, my sisters and I had a nice chat and even made some really good laughs. And this morning, I came across a very positive website which enlightened me and reminded me of the right way to go. It’s like God saying, I love you. I don’t want to see you down. You are never alone.
Find hope in your darkest hour.
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