I prefer the more difficult path. I prefer to grow. I prefer to learn. I prefer to be stronger than I have ever been. Because only by taking the more difficult path could I ever climb mountains higher than I have ever climbed before!
Forgive me for I shall now stop loving you, I’m letting you go. You have already vowed your heart to someone else, and we could never be. Only when I stop loving you could I ever begin to love you MORE.
How do we know if we really love someone? Is it because of the feeling we have in our hearts? What if that feeling could only cause them pain in the end? Should we stop loving them? Our letter for today is about a love that could never seem to be.
Hi,
I have been struggling with this issue for three years and I need some advise. To some the answer will be a no brainer but for me it’s a struggle. I have been married for 12 years. During those 12 years my marriage has lost communication, intimacy, the desire to be near my spouse because of reasons I don’t want to get into. So I started in an affair 3 years ao with a single man who I have fallen in love with but he see other women as well. He has told me he loves me but this is the way he has always been and doesn’t want to commit to any women. We have tried numerous times to break off this affair but whenever he calls I run back to him. I have explained to him that it kills me inside knowing he “sleeps” with other women. So he suggested we do threesomes with other women. However, this is not what I believe in. I left broken and loss with both relationships I’m in. I have prayed to Jesus to intercede to God for me to take this affair from me but it doesn’t seem to b working. The pain is here in me because this man really doesn’t love me and it hurts knowing no matter how much I love him or what I do for him his before will never change. Please help me to put this in focus.
From Beverly
Hello Beverly,
Thank you for your trust, for allowing us to hear you and for giving us the opportunity to talk to you. There are so many things I wanted to tell you that I think our time and space in here wouldn’t be enough. I will however try my best to give you some words that could help alleviate your pain. First of all, problems like these are not no-brainers, they only seem easy for people who do not understand our real struggles, and our hurts. You may have said it that way because you may have seen the solution they would have given you, though knowing such a solution doesn’t make the process any easier or less painful. I have several points I want to tell you:
Dear Joyce,
I just discover your site and when I scroll, I am interested and I am going a love problem.
I met this guy when we are still in 1st year college. The first time I saw him,I had already crush on him. Then when the semestr ends, when we are to take our exam ,he told me at my back I love you. At that moment I don’t know what to do or say. We had already our sem break and that’s the time, I felt strange feeling that I like to see him. But he did not enroll in the next sem.
Dear Joyce,
I am so willing to forgive that when people do me wrong no matter what, I always accept them back into my life no matter when they choose to come back. The problem is that I have a hard time letting go of what has happened. I believe that my hard time letting go started with my father abandoning my family but whenever he came back I still let him just for him to leave again and come back over and over, even though it always hurt. Now this is happening with my friendships and my relationships. I obsess over why things went wrong and how I could make it better and everytime they want to be my friends/lovers again I let them come back into my life even though I still havent let go of the pain of what they’ve done to me. My mom thinks I have a fear of just being alone. How can I help myself to be ok with being alone?
From Lola
Dear Lola,
It seems your problem with easily accepting back the people who hurt you is related to your fear of being alone. Deep within you, even if you said you already forgave them, you may still feel the pain of what they did to you. Deep within, something still felt unfair. However, since you’re afraid of being alone, you prefer to have them back.