Category: Dear Joyce

Dear Joyce,

i am going through a very rough time, my husband for 10 years just suddenly left me and my 2 kids for a younger woman he just met in HK. my husband worked in Macau and he lost his job late June. I was in China that time and i asked him to go to HK to get a china visa to stay with me.. but when he went to HK, he met this woman and for only 2 weeks, he left us.. he told our friends he doesn’t have plans of coming back to me and that he is happy and so in love. my husband cheated on me before, and every time i will ask him to let me go. but he wouldn’t let me..he always say he doesn’t want to have a broken family.. that he is only weak to fight temptations and he loves our family and our kids so much.. so this time, i was so hurt, for such a short time, he left me without saying anything. i just got to know it from my friends and Facebook. he even posted some pictures of him and the girl.. my kids are affected already, especially my eldest, she is very close to her dad. but she saw the pictures that were posted in fb so my daughter is now angry with her dad. this made me very angry and hurt but i still feel that there is something wrong… can you really fall in love with someone that fast that you can forget about your family? i still don’t understand. I love my husband so much… i just don’t know if i can get over him and if i can move on… please help me .. please pray for me…

From Whey

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE

Dear Whey,

God loves you and your kids. In Him rests my certainty that you will be able to get over your husband and find a new life that relies on God’s providence and protection.

Whenever we part ways with someone, we have so many questions in mind, and this includes your question on whether it is possible to fall in love with someone that fast.

Dear Joyce,

I’ve recently found out that my husband has had an affair working abroad. When he came home for vacation, I confronted him. The first reaction of course was denial. After providing him the proof that I found, he told me that he didn’t love the girl but only had a relationship with her for “financial gain”, saying that she was a client of his buying gadgets from him & also that he wanted to boost his ego & see if he can still attract other women. I told him to end his affair in front of me by calling the other woman. He hesitated for a while & said that it wasn’t her fault but his. To make it easier for him, I decided to call her instead. I spoke to her in front of him. I found out that she didn’t know he was married & has a family. I told her the truth & asked her to just stay away now that she knows. After all this, my husband asked for forgiveness & another chance to make things right. I said yes of course because I love him so very much & for the sake of our children. However, now that he is back there, I have all these doubts & anger inside me. I am always sad & depressed & I’m having a hard time moving about & doing the normal routine I do as a housewife. Everytime my husband & I talk, I always end up fighting him & being miserable. My husband is very sad & I feel that he is getting frustrated with what is going on. Joyce, I am very angry & still hurting from what he did. I can’t seem to forget & truly forgive him. Yet I still very much love him & don’t want to lose him. I don’t know what to do. How & where do I start to move on. I am just so broken right now. Please help me. Thank you so much.

Sincerely,
Jewel

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE

Dear Jewel,

I admire you for your courage to fight for your love and for your family, and for your willingness to forgive and to keep the relationship. It’s not an easy challenge that you’re going through. It will take much effort, prayers and cooperation between you and your husband to be able to restore what has been broken. It will also take time and lots of patience. The important thing is the progress that you see each day and the desire within you why you want to make this relationship work.

My ex-boyfriend and I had our much long awaited closure last night. We haven’t spoken for more than a year. I felt that last night was the right time for us to thresh out all the pains and hurts. We both asked forgiveness from one another and the closure finally happened.

The problem is I feel so hurt now and I hate myself for not being loved anymore by this person. I feel so bad at the moment. But I am fighting hard to overcome the pain. please help me.

From Marianne

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE

Dear Marianne,

Many times, even if we knew we did the right thing, we still can’t help but feel the pain, for we have loved after all. We have given our hearts to another person, and now it’s time to let that person go. There’s always something painful about goodbyes. We feel that we are parting not only from a certain person, but from a certain part of ourselves.

Dear Joyce and other readers,

i was just browsing in the web searching for some inspirational blogs to read and i saw this website. i am so depress right now, i don’t really know what to do. i am a sophomore college student taking up a course of bs electronics and communications engineering, i only take this course because it is what my aunt wants me to take, my aunt is the one who spends for my education, i already said to her that i’m having a hard time studying because i’m not good in math and i’m not interested in my studies, but she didn’t listen. my parents don’t seem to care, they don’t even know what i’m going through because we are a broken family. i am really having a tough time now, my grades are falling and i don’t wan that. i always procrastinate. what should i do? please reply. i need some advice.

From Jalyn

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE

Dear Jalyn,

I can understand how tough it must be. Even in my 2nd year in college, I still wanted to shift course, though I wasn’t able to. It was only after years of working that I started to have the resources and the courage I needed to pursue what I really wanted to do, which is to write.

So don’t give up! It’s not the end of everything. You can still do something with your life and turn it around into something you’ve always dreamed of!

Right now, I guess you have two choices. One is to continue studying the course you don’t like, then get a job that could pay you enough in order to study again. The other one is to get a part-time job or a scholarship that could help you pay for your own education so you can take the course you really want! If I had the courage then, I would have taken the second option.

But before you make any major decisions, promise me that you will pray about it first! God often has another way of turning things around, ways we could never have thought about. Be blessed, Jalyn and keep in touch. You’re never alone.

With Love,
JOYCE

Dear Joyce,

I am always into troubles thats so had for to solve. if its not about losing my job then, its something thats going make me go back to sept one. in one way or the other, it always involves money. i live in kuwait for 3yrs now. i got 2 good jobs and lost both. all that i had worked for has vanished. i had to renew my visa just to start a new life but the little money i have to do that also have been taken away from me and the visa has expired too. each day i have pay a panalty of $3 and half. the only option i now is go back to ghana where i’m from, meanwhile, i dont even have any money left on me to buy my air-ticket. but i thing i dont really understand about my life is that any time i get close to a friend, i am been screwed and anytime i trust a friend i’m being sturbed in the back. could u pls help me out through prayer for I eat ashes instead of my food. My tears run down into my drink because of your anger and wrath. For you have picked me up and thrown me out. My life passes as swiftly as the evening shadows. I am withering like grass. But you, O LORD, will rule forever as the bibble say. thanks in advance. bless you.

From Gideon

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE

Dear Gideon,

I pray for you now. I know that even if you can’t feel God’s hand yet, He is there, holding you and carrying you through. I know also that you have faith in Him, and that faith is being strengthened now as you face such difficult times. Remember that tough times don’t last, but tough people do. And you’re a tough one I believe.