Category: Spirituality

It is hard to forgive without letting go. To let go is to not demand what is owed you. To let go is to unburden yourself with the task of trying to make someone else pay for what they have done.

There seems to be an injustice to it, this business of letting go. Why give up what is rightfully yours? Why not go after someone and force him to give you what he is obliged to do in the first place?

The answer is PEACE. Peace for yourself. The kind of peace you need so you can move forward and not be shackled by the past transgressions of other people.

Not every battle can be won. There are some things we lose, some things we must give up. But there are some things worth saving, and our peace of mind is just that. It is something we owe to ourselves, something important to our eternal and priceless soul.

I recently found a very interesting book by Charles Peguy titled “The Portal of the Mystery of Hope”. The book is an English translation of Charle’s Peguy’s long poem ““The Gateway of the Mystery of the Second Virtue”. It came at a time when I was reflecting about hope and needed hope myself. This poem on hope allowed me to realize many things – how we often take hope for granted and how much we really need it in our journey here on earth. The world today is in despair and these are desperate times. In our despair, we lose sight of the good things that can still happen and the blessings God is still giving us each day. May we pray for hope and may we find it like a little child who is not afraid to entrust oneself upon her Father’s arms.

Here are some excerpts from the poem about hope:

“…My three virtues, says God.
The three virtues, my creatures.
My daughters, my children.
Are themselves like my other creatures.
Of the race of men.
Faith is a loyal Wife.
Charity is a Mother.
An ardent mother, noble-hearted.
Or an older sister who is like a mother.
Hope is a little girl, nothing at all….
“And yet it is this little girl who will endure worlds.
This little girl, nothing at all.
She alone, carrying the others, who will cross worlds past.
As the star guided the three kings from the deepest Orient.
Toward the cradle of my Son.
Like a trembling flame.
She alone will guide the Virtues and Worlds.
One flame will pierce the eternal shadows….

“We too often forget, my child, that hope is a virtue, that it is a theological virtue, and that of all the virtues, and of the three theological virtues, it is perhaps the most pleasing to God.

“That it is assuredly the most difficult, that it is perhaps the only difficult one, and that it is undoubtedly the most pleasing to God.

“Faith is obvious. Faith can walk on its own. To believe you just have to let yourself go, you just need to look around. In order not to believe, you would have to do violence to yourself, frustrate yourself. Harden yourself. Run yourself backwards, turn yourself inside-out, thwart yourself. Faith is completely natural, easy-going, simple, easy-coming…

“In order not to believe, my child, you would have to shut your eyes and plug your ears. In order not to see, not to believe.

“Unfortunately Charity is obvious. Charity can walk on its own. to love your neighbor you just have to let yourself go, you just have to look around at all the distress. In order not to love you would have to do violence to yourself, torture yourself, torment yourself, frustrate yourself. Harden yourself. Hurt yourself. Distort yourself. Run yourself backwards, turn yourself inside-out. Thwart yourself. Charity is completely natural, simple, overflowing, very easy-coming. It’s the first movement of the heart. And the first movement is the right one…

“In order not to love your neighbor, my child, you would have to shut your eyes and plug your ears.
To so many cries of distress.

“But hope is not obvious. Hope does not come on its own. To hope, my child, you would have to be quite fortunate, to have obtained, received a great grace.

“It’s faith which is easy and not believing which would be impossible. It’s charity which is easy and not loving which would be impossible. But it’s hoping which is difficult….

“And the easy thing and the tendency is to despair and that’s the great temptation.
“This little hope moves forward in between her two older sisters and one scarcely notices her. On the path to salvation, on the earthly path, on the rocky path of salvation, on the interminable road, on the road in between her two older sisters the little hope
Pushes on.
In between her two older sisters.
The one who’s married.
And the one who’s a mother.
And no one pays attention, the Christian people don’t pay attention,
except to the two older sisters.
The first and the last.
Who attend to the most pressing things first.
Who attend to the moment at hand.
To each passing moment.
The Christian people see only the two older sisters,
don’t notice anything but the two older sisters.
The one on the right and the one on the left.
And they hardly ever see the one in the middle.
The little one, the one who’s still going to school.
And who walks.
Lost in her sisters’ skirts.
And they willingly believe that it’s the two older ones
who drag the youngest along by the hand.
In the middle.
Between them.
To make her walk this rocky path of salvation.
They are blind who cannot see otherwise.
That it’s she in the middle who leads her older sisters along.
And that without her they wouldn’t be anything.
But two women already grown old.
Two elderly women.
Wrinkled by life.

It’s she, the little one, who carries them all.
Because Faith sees only what is.
But she, she sees what will be.
Charity loves only what is.
But she, she loves what will be.

Faith sees what is.
In time and in eternity.
Hope sees what will be.
In time and for eternity.

In the future, so to speak, of eternity itself.
Charity loves what is.
In time and in eternity.
God and neighbor.
As Faith sees.
God and Creation.
But Hope loves what will be.
In time and for eternity.

In the future, so to speak.
Hope sees what has not yet been and what will be.
She loves what has not yet been and what will be.

In the future of time and of eternity.”

“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day. Don’t give the Devil a chance.” – Ephesians 4:26-27, GNT

What do we do in moments of intense anger? Here are some things I’ve realized through my own experience:

1. Flee at once in prayer! In times of anger, I need all the help I could get to be able to manage this strong emotion. Prayer helps because it gives me spiritual capacities far beyond my own human limitations.

Virtues are formed by prayer. Prayer preserves temperance. Prayer suppresses anger. Prayer prevents emotions of pride and envy. Prayer draws into the soul the Holy Spirit, and raises man to Heaven.-Saint Ephraem of Syria

2. Avoid acts you will later regret. Think of the people you could hurt, think of the damage that could arise in a moment of blind rage.

…but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out to the field.” And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. -Genesis 4:5-8, NRSV-CE

One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.
-Proverbs 16:32, NRSV-CE

3. Do not be more angry than is necessary. Let your anger be proportionate to the needs of the moment. Often, trouble comes when we allow our anger to linger longer or to grow bigger than it should. If you feel that you are the type of person who gets controlled by your emotions, try to put a stop to your anger as early as you possibly could!

…anger…once admitted, it will not be easily expelled, for, though at first but a small plant, it will immediately grow into a large tree.”-Saint Augustine

4. Focus on calming down instead of feeding the fire of your anger.

…and if through weakness and frailty one is overtaken by it, it is far better to put it away forcibly than to parley with it; for give anger ever so little way, and it will become master, like the serpent, who easily works in its body wherever it can once introduce its head. -St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life

5. Douse the fire of your anger with thoughts of love and of peace.

You, LORD, give perfect peace
to those who keep their purpose firm
and put their trust in you.
-Isaiah 26:3, GNT

If you follow the will of God, you know that in spite of all the terrible things that happen to you, you will never lose a final refuge. You know that the foundation of the world is love, so that even when no human being can or will help you, you may go on, trusting in the One that loves you. –Pope Benedict XVI

6. Try to heal the wounds and issues that come up again and again in times of crisis and that causes you to be more angry and vulnerable. Let God be your Healer as you cry to Him and open up your heart.

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. – Matthew 11:28-30, NRSV-CE

It is better to cry than to be angry, because anger hurts others, while tears flow silently though the soul and cleanses the heart.-Pope John Paul II

7. Get up after every fall. Don’t give in to despair. Rather, ask forgiveness from God and from those you may have unduly hurt.

If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9, NRSV-CE

There is an anger which is engendered of evil, and there is an anger engendered of good. Hastiness of temper is the cause of the evil, divine principle is the cause of the good… -Pope St. Gregory the Great

“When you are surprised by anger on account of some misfortune, some injury, some wrong or affront, suppress it as soon as you discover it. You should not be angry about these things, which God permits for your good, to keep you detached from the world, confident in Him alone, and above all things humble…Then when it comes on you because you see offences offered to God, duties transgressed, virtue vilified…be content to bridle it, that it may not in an unruly manner overpass the limits of what is just and right…A just anger is a fire that is necessary to give warmth and life to our zeal for the glory of God and the salvation of our neighbour.” – Joseph Frassinetti, The Consolation of the Devout Soul