Category: Words of Wisdom

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Why Does The Truth Hurt?

Why does the truth hurt?The phrase “the truth hurts” is a universally recognized saying, often invoked when a harsh reality pierces through the comfortable illusions we construct around ourselves. But why does the truth hurt? What is it about confronting reality that can provoke such a profound emotional response? This article explores the psychological, emotional, and spiritual reasons behind the pain of truth and offers insights into how we can learn to embrace it as a catalyst for growth and healing.

The Nature of Truth

Truth, by its very definition, is the state or quality of being in accordance with fact or reality. It is unchangeable, unyielding, and often indifferent to our feelings or desires. Truth exists independently of our beliefs, perceptions, or wishes. While we may try to bend or avoid it, the truth remains steadfast, waiting to be acknowledged.

This unyielding nature of truth is part of what makes it painful. When we encounter a truth that contradicts our beliefs, shatters our illusions, or forces us to confront uncomfortable realities, it can feel like an attack on our very identity. This pain is not merely emotional but can be deeply psychological and spiritual.

The Psychological Impact of Truth

At the core of why truth hurts is the concept of cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance occurs when we hold two or more conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes, causing discomfort or distress. When confronted with a truth that contradicts our deeply held beliefs or self-perceptions, our minds experience this dissonance, which can manifest as pain, anxiety, or stress.

For example, imagine someone who has always believed in their abilities as a competent professional. If they receive feedback that their performance is lacking or that they have failed in a significant task, the truth can be devastating. The pain arises not just from the feedback itself but from the internal conflict between their self-image and the reality of the situation.

Moreover, truth often forces us to confront our vulnerabilities and shortcomings. This can be especially painful for those who have built their identities around being strong, successful, or infallible. Admitting the truth means acknowledging that we are not perfect, that we have flaws, and that we are capable of making mistakes. This can be a humbling and, at times, humiliating experience.

The Emotional Impact of Truth

Emotionally, the truth can hurt because it often brings with it a sense of loss. This loss can take many forms: the loss of a cherished belief, the loss of an idealized version of oneself, or the loss of hope for a particular outcome. When we are forced to accept a truth that we would rather avoid, it can feel like a betrayal or a personal failure.

For instance, discovering that a loved one has been unfaithful, realizing that a long-held dream is unattainable, or facing the reality of a terminal illness can all provoke intense emotional pain. These truths shatter our expectations and force us to confront a reality that is far less comforting than the illusions we had previously clung to.

Another emotional aspect of truth is the fear of judgment or rejection. We fear that others will see us differently once the truth is revealed or that we will be judged harshly for our mistakes or shortcomings. This fear of exposure can amplify the pain of truth, making us reluctant to face it even when we know it is inevitable.

The Spiritual Impact of Truth

On a spiritual level, the truth can be painful because it challenges our sense of purpose and meaning. Many of us seek comfort in our spiritual beliefs, looking for answers to life’s biggest questions. When the truth contradicts these beliefs or forces us to confront existential uncertainties, it can be deeply unsettling.

For example, someone who believes in a just and loving God may struggle to reconcile this belief with the reality of suffering and injustice in the world. The truth of suffering can lead to a crisis of faith, causing spiritual pain and confusion.

However, it is also on the spiritual level that the truth can lead to profound growth and transformation. Spiritual traditions across cultures emphasize the importance of truth as a path to enlightenment, liberation, and inner peace. The pain of truth, in this context, is seen as a necessary step in the journey toward spiritual awakening.

Embracing the Truth: A Path to Healing

While the truth can hurt, it also has the power to heal. The pain of truth is often a sign that we are being called to grow, change, or let go of something that no longer serves us. By embracing the truth, we can move through the pain and emerge stronger, wiser, and more authentic.

  1. Acceptance: The first step in embracing the truth is acceptance. This means acknowledging reality as it is, without denial or resistance. Acceptance does not mean that we have to like or agree with the truth, but it does mean that we stop fighting against it.
  2. Reflection: Once we have accepted the truth, it is important to reflect on its implications. What does this truth mean for our lives, our relationships, and our sense of self? Reflection allows us to process the truth and understand its deeper significance.
  3. Growth: The pain of truth often reveals areas where we need to grow or change. By embracing the truth, we can use it as an opportunity for personal development. This might involve making difficult decisions, letting go of old beliefs, or taking steps to improve ourselves.
  4. Compassion: It is important to approach the truth with compassion, both for ourselves and for others. The truth can be harsh, but it does not have to be cruel. By being gentle with ourselves and others, we can navigate the pain of truth with kindness and understanding.
  5. Forgiveness: Sometimes, the truth reveals mistakes, failures, or wrongs that need to be forgiven. Whether it is forgiving ourselves or others, forgiveness is a powerful way to release the pain of truth and move forward.

Conclusion

The truth hurts because it confronts us with reality, challenges our beliefs, and forces us to face uncomfortable emotions and spiritual uncertainties. However, the pain of truth is not something to be feared or avoided. Instead, it can be embraced as a catalyst for growth, healing, and transformation.

By accepting the truth, reflecting on its implications, and approaching it with compassion and forgiveness, we can move through the pain and emerge stronger on the other side. In the end, the truth, though painful, is a powerful force for good, leading us to a more authentic and meaningful life.

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Why Does It Hurt Even if It Seems To Be the Truth?

Why Does It Hurt Even if It Seems To Be the Truth?Have you ever been on the receiving end of a truthful revelation from a close friend and it just hurt so badly?

You knew deep inside that your friend was only pointing out a true defect or weakness he or she may have seen in you. You also know that your friend never meant you harm.

But why is it that it still hurt so much?

Aside from the issue of pride that is also often involved when it comes to criticism, there is another factor I have realized when it comes to hearing or speaking the truth.

Sometimes, the truth hurts because it isn’t the “complete” truth!

What does this mean? Does it mean that what you heard was also half a lie? Not at all! But it isn’t the fullness of truth either.

Let’s talk about an example.

One day, your friend may notice how you don’t seem to have a concrete goal in life and that is why your life is getting nowhere.

She said it out of real concern for you and there is some truth in it. But why does it hurt so much?

It’s because the indirect implications of the feedback seem to be saying that you’re somewhat too lazy to set those goals and that you don’t care about what happens in your life.

The truth, however, is that you have been trying to find your true purpose in life. You have reached that point when you wanted to live a meaningful life, a life that could be of service to other people. It just so happens that you are still in the process of determining how you can accomplish that.

You are not lazy. You are not selfish. In fact, you are trying your best to change.

And what your friend said hurt because it did not contain the complete truth of what you are going through.

I think we can learn from this when we try to counsel other people.

Although we may be speaking the truth in pointing out their shortcomings, we must not condemn the person as though we already knew everything about them.

We must always be willing to listen with our hearts so that we can see a better picture of our neighbor’s life.

Each person’s journey is unique. Each life is filled with many struggles and shades of both good and bad.

To lead another person, we must first empathize with their struggles. Do we even know how much they suffered in life? What problems did they encounter that influenced the choices they made through the years?

Let us not judge too quickly. And let us remember that the “fullness of truth” can only be found in love.

“Love builds a bridge over which truth can pass.” — Dan Burke

“Love and truth will meet;
justice and peace will kiss.
Truth will spring from the earth;
justice will look down from heaven.
Yes, the LORD will grant his bounty;
our land will yield its produce.
Justice will march before him,
and make a way for his footsteps.
-Psalm 85:11–14

Jocelyn Soriano is the author of the books Mend My Broken Heart and 366 Days of Compassion.

You may want to read:

See the book

Categories
Prayers Words of Wisdom

Secret to Answered Prayers

secret to answered prayersSecret to Answered Prayers

What is the secret to answered prayers? Will God answer my prayers?

The Bible has a very simple guide on how we should pray:

Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not… ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou taken up and cast into the sea, it shall be done. – Matthew 21:21

And when we look back at all the prayers that Jesus had answered, honesty and simplicity in those prayers were very much evident.

And behold, there came a leper and worshipped him saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. And he stretched forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will; be thou made clean. And straightway his leprosy was cleansed. -Matthew 8:2-3

And as Jesus passed by from thence, two blind men followed him, crying out, saying Have mercy on us, thou son of David. And when he was come into the house, the blind men came to him, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They say unto him, Yea, Lord. Then touched he their eyes, saying, According to your faith be it done unto you. And their eyes were opened. – Matthew 9:27-30

Such simple and straightforward prayers, and yet these prayers were often the prayers that Jesus praised for their faith.

Why then do some of our prayers seem to remain unanswered until now? What have we failed to understand? What is the kind of prayer God always hears and answers?

I’ve listed THREE easy guidelines that have helped me tremendously in my own prayers. They’re so simple and easy to remember, and they have guided me through much of my prayer life.

Three things we need in our prayers:

1. To KNOW what we want

What is it that we truly want? Are the concerns that escape our lips in prayer truly the things we desire? We are to remember that prayer isn’t about mere words no matter how beautiful or how well composed they seem to be. Prayer is that which comes from our hearts, the things we lift up towards heaven when we close our eyes and kneel before the One who hears the voice within us. For all we know, the things we say are just the opposite of the things we really want. For all we know, we have not yet come to discover the things we truly desire.

Do we still remember the blind man whom Jesus healed?

And Jesus stood, and commanded him to be brought unto him: and when he was come near, he asked him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? And he said, Lord, that I may receive my sight. And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed him, glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto God.

Why did Jesus ask him what he desires? Wasn’t it already obvious that he needed to see? What I can say is this: the prayer, the real desire of the blind man should come from him himself. Jesus wanted him to realize the desire that lies in his own heart, to claim it, to proclaim it, and to believe that it can be done. Because this is the way to authentic prayer. God does not suddenly appear before us and insist on the things we obviously need. What would you say if He suddenly comes to you and says, “Well John, I think you need a new job so you can buy a new shirt because you really look so shabby already, and I can’t bear the sight of you!” Well, won’t it be encroaching on our God-given will, on the honor He has bestowed upon us as His children? On the right to receive whatever gift we want, not the gifts thrusted upon us by force?

We need to seek inside our hearts those desires that have slept there for so long. Unless we do, we do not know what to pray for in the first place, and we end up sending a bunch of mixed and weak signals that do not really know the things it asks for. Have you ever heard someone talking on the phone over a choppy line? Well, was it easy to understand what he was saying? If the person was asking you for something, would you have understood what it was? And having never understood what it was in the first place, would you have given what the person was asking for?

We must uncover the prayers our souls are crying for. And in order to do so, we must learn how to remove all the impurities that conceal our true desires. Know what you want. Be brave enough to face yourself in the mirror and see what it is you’re lacking. Do not content yourself with the outer layer of your problems. Seek the core of your difficulties. It is only then that you will know you are blind. It is only then that you will know you needed to see.

2. To BELIEVE that we can get what we want and that God can answer our prayers.

What is the point of praying if we do not believe our prayers will be answered? What is the point of praying if we do not believe someone hears them and that the one who does can answer them? You might have noticed how people often simply murmur their wishes, hoping some genie might pass by and grant them their wishes if he so desires. Not a very empowering concept, isn’t it?

See if you can relate to the following:

a. We think we do not deserve what we pray for

Having a realistic assessment of ourselves is good. But insisting on our unworthiness as a cause to believe that our prayers should not be granted is another. Remember that God does not force us to receive anything, however wonderful or generous His blessings are. If we do not wish to accept his answers, we are the ones closing our doors and shutting out every good thing God sends out to us.

b. We think God is not good or generous enough to grant us our desires

We may have an idea of a God who never even smiles, a God who gives out all these commandments for us to follow and who watches our every move so He can punish us if we violate any of those laws He has given us. If this is how you see God, it is no wonder that you do not believe your prayers will be answered. In fact, if this is how you see Him, you may never even have the guts to pray to Him at all!

Believe that God is good. Believe that God loves you so much He gave up His glory to be just like you in order to save you. Believe that if He can grant you His One and Only Son, He will not withhold anything from you.

3. To fervently and consistently DESIRE the thing we want.

Sometimes we know what we want, and we believe that God can grant them. But when some sort of delay comes, we start doubting our prayers, and subsequently, God’s generosity to grant what we ask for. A persistent prayer proves how far our faith can go. It proves how much we believe in the things we pray for.

When we fail to pray fervently, the following happens and jeopardizes our prayers:

a. We settle for the initial results we get instead of pursuing what it is we really want

Sometimes, we recognize some things as answers to our prayers. It may be a job, which pays enough, but is not as rewarding as we envisioned it to be; or a boyfriend who seems okey, but one with whom we do not feel truly happy with. Though these answers seem good enough, they do not fully satisfy our desires. And we settle for these things instead of pursuing the true essence of our prayers.

These things may have been answers indeed, but only answers to the broken prayers we prayed when we have not yet uncovered our true desires. They have been sent according to our faith, but that doesn’t mean they are the true answers to our deepest desires. They may only be there to help us dig deeper, to ask ourselves what it is we truly want. If they can satisfy us now, then well and good. But if not, if we can’t pray a prayer of thanksgiving with a heart overflowing in joy and gratitude, then let go of these things. These are not yet the answers you are searching for.

b. We change our minds even before we get the desired results

Sometimes it happens that even before the answer to our prayer arrives, we retract our prayers and ask for something else instead. And after doing so, we change our minds again and ask for another thing, and then another thing, and then another. How do you expect then to get the answers you want? If you keep on changing your mind, you only prove you do not know what it is you really want, and that’s why you cannot persist in your prayers. You just keep on jumping from one prayer to another hoping that you may finally hit the jackpot by randomly guessing on what you really desire to have.

Consider the blind man whom Jesus healed:

And it came to pass, as he drew nigh unto Jericho, a certain blind man sat by the way side begging: and hearing a multitude going by, he inquired what this meant. And they told him that Jesus of Nazareth passeth by. And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me. And they that went before rebuked him, that he should hold his peace: but he cried out the more a great deal, Thou son of David, have mercy on me. And Jesus stood, and commanded him to be brought unto him: and when he was come near, he asked him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? And he said, Lord, that I may receive my sight. And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed him, glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto God. – Luke 18:35-43

Though the people rebuked him, though they urged him to keep quiet, the man continued to cry out to Jesus. He knew his need and he believed that Jesus can grant him the answer to his prayer.

Unlike the blind man, some people nowadays listen more to the people rebuking them than to the inner desires in their hearts. Often, we believe these people, and we allow them to make us believe our prayers can’t be or don’t deserve to be answered.

Don’t listen to these people. Listen to your heart, because somewhere in there, God had planted a sacred seed of desire that will bring you to your happiness, to the destiny He has planned for you all along, if only you will believe.

So go ahead and pray. Pray your deepest, innermost desires. For such is the secret to answered prayers.  Believe that God listens and God longs for you to have your prayers answered. Pray fervently, do not give up. For as you might have observed, Jesus never turned down anyone who’s ever asked Him for anything; NOT ONE.

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Two Kinds of Happiness

There is a kind of happiness that can easily make you smile or laugh. Sometimes it can even be so overwhelming that it makes you cry. After a while, however, you realize that your feelings slowly start to fade. Somehow, you find it harder and harder to remember the way you felt before. Eventually, you may wonder whether you’ve been really happy at all.

On the other hand, there is a happiness that doesn’t seem like happiness at the start. It’s so subtle that it almost speaks in whispers. It moves ever gently you may fail to notice it’s there. But if you pay attention to it and you give it time, and if you allow it to touch you and to enter your heart, you’d see how it would grow steadily from day to day. You’d understand it more and more.

Unlike the first kind of happiness, this one doesn’t quickly fade. This one doesn’t excite you only to let you down. But this kind of happiness grows deep until it takes root. It changes you and moves you. It penetrates your very soul.

This kind of happiness is not a sudden rain that dissipates the heat for a while only to leave you dry again. This happiness is a fountain that never ends, a source of water you can come back to again and again, filling your every need and satisfying the deepest desires of your heart.

Now if there are two kinds of happiness, which one would you rather have?

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Three Things That Can Help Relieve Our Suffering

Image by Gabriel Alva from Pixabay

“The role of a clown and a physician are the same?-?it’s to elevate the possible and to relieve suffering.”-Patch Adams

It is far easier to talk about suffering than to bear it. When we need to endure so much pain, sometimes all the knowledge we think we have seem to disappear. All that we can think about is how much we are hurting.  It’s as though time passes by ever so slowly and our suffering would never end.

Where do we find relief from our suffering? How do we somehow alleviate the pain?

Here are some of the things that have helped me endure suffering:

1. Person

It is having that person whom you can depend upon that helps you endure the most difficult sufferings in life. Just knowing that you are not alone already lightens your heavy load. You endure the pain with them and for them. Many times, it is your concern for them that allows you to forget much of your sufferings because instead of focusing on them, you care about the people who love you and are there for you.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” – Henri J.M. Nouwen

2. Perspective on Permanence

Much of my anxious thoughts come from the thought that my painful situation may never end. It is the permanence of the hurt that scares me and makes me lose my hope. Quite often, however, the difficulty I have is fleeting. It may seem like an eternity to me, but in truth, the pain doesn’t last and I am often given times of pause and rest.

“Only one principle will give you courage, that is the principle that no evil lasts for ever, nor indeed for very long.” – St. Epicuris

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles.” – Charlie Chaplin

3. Purpose

We can endure many difficult things, including physical and emotional pain if we know the purpose behind our sufferings. Keeping the goal in mind, we muster the patience that would help us go on. We strengthen ourselves with the thought that our suffering isn’t meaningless, that it would instead yield some good.

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” – Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Final Words

No one knows the true taste of suffering except the person who has experienced it. When you are in pain, you cease to preach things you don’t really believe in. You face the hurt right where it is and you look for all the ways that could help alleviate your pain.

If you are in any difficulty at the moment, may you find some comfort right where you are. May there be people who could make you feel less alone. May there be some meaning you could hold on to. And may you have the hope to keep on believing that even the darkest night shall pass away.

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller