Category: Words of Wisdom

Religion Versus Spirituality

The term ‘religion’ as distinguished from ‘spirituality’, seems to have a certain stigma about it that people would avoid it for as long as they possibly could.  “I am not religious, but I am spiritual,” is a claim we often hear people say nowadays.  What is it about religion that people avoid like a plague?

I think some of the most common misconceptions about religion that people avoid are the following:

• Rituals one is forced to perform in obedience to one’s religion
• Being old-fashioned and not as open minded and intellectual as ‘spiritual people’ are nowadays
• Threat of damnation by an angry God
• Judgment and condemnation if one fails to meet the mark

Religion is ‘out’.  Spirituality is ‘in’.  Religion talks about a ‘distant’ God.  Spirituality talks about a god within your reach, even ‘within you’, for you are god.

The word ‘religion’ seems to have come from the word ‘re-ligare’ where ‘ligare’  means ‘to bind or connect’. Hence, ‘religare’ meaning ‘to reconnect’ or to ‘bind again’.

People seem to have a fear of ‘being bound’, of having their freedom curtailed, and so the claim, “I am not religious, but I am spiritual.”

One of my previous teachers had her own definition of religion too, which had always stuck  to my mind.  She said that ‘religare’ is a term to denote having a ‘relationship’ with God.  That’s what I’ve always remembered, and it’s only now that I’ve learned that ‘religare’ actually meant ‘to reconnect’.

Thinking about it though, having a relationship with another person, is actually being able to ‘connect’ with that person.  Relationships are about connections, about the ties that bind us to people we care about the most.

In my own experience, these relationships are the best things that ever happened in my life.  Without these people, life would be absurd and meaningless, and even if I gain the whole world, it wouldn’t mean a thing because I wouldn’t have anybody I could share it with.

I guess I’ll stick with this definition of religion, ‘to have a relationship with God’.  It’s something you can carry with you even beyond this life, even unto eternity, knowing that you are not alone, knowing that you are loved.

Spirituality is meaningless to me if it does not include having this kind of a relationship.  Without relationships, how could you say that you have love?  How could you ever love? Love is what matters most.

“After all the searching, I’ve found out that the meaning of life is in one simple word – love.  And heaven?  A place where we could love without end.”

 

There are 525,600 minutes in one year, what have I done with those?! Thinking about it, did I spend much of those minutes in things that truly count? Or have I merely let them pass, or spent them in things that didn’t really matter?

525,600 minutes.

What can I do with just one minute anyways?

In one minute –
1. I can sing a song.
2. I can kiss my loved ones.
3. I can shake hands with a new-found friend.
4. I can smile.
5. I can pray.
6. I can embrace a friend.
7. I can jump!
8. I can dance.
9. I can say ‘thank you’.
10. I can say ‘I love you!’

Looking back however at the 525,600 minutes that have passed, I ask myself these questions:

1. How many kisses have I given away?
2. How many smiles have I shared?
3. How many songs have I sung from the heart?
4. How many times did I jump for joy?
5. How many prayers have I uttered?
6. How many friends have I embraced?

Looking back, I must have slept most of the time.
I must have complained a lot of times.
I must have worried so many times.

So many wasted minutes.
So many moments that were supposed to be mine,
to enrich my life and that of others.

It is not too late however! It’s enough to have spent a few minutes looking back. But now it’s time to live the moment. May the next minute count therefore, and may it be truly blessed!

For me, the single best thing you can do to become more creative is to be wrong more often. Creative people are wrong all the time (look at Apple’s long string of failures). The goal is to create a safe place to be wrong, a way to be wrong without destroying yourself. – Seth Godin (Interview by The Happiness Project)

Seth’s words caught my attention because of two things: First, that creativity is my life, and Second, that I still am afraid of making mistakes and wasting everything I’ve ever accomplished in life.

The second part of Seth’s quote gives us hope however. We need to create a safe place to be wrong, “a way to be wrong without destroying yourself.”

But how can we do that? Just how do we ensure that we don’t destroy ourselves with our mistakes?

In my previous job as an auditor, I believe we have such a word for that – risk mitigation. Risks exist, whether we like it or not. Without risk, there can be no business venture, and no profit in return. What we need to do is to learn how to handle those risks, how to mitigate them as best we could so as not to let them hinder us from our goals.

Following are some of the things I’ve listed in order to help me mitigate those mistakes:

1. Have a backup plan. Have as much backup or alternative courses of action as you may need. When Plan A doesn’t succeed, you always have Plan B or C.

2. Be aware of the consequences of your actions. You must be able to calculate just how much you are willing to risk. If your plan doesn’t materialize, can you handle the results? What would it cost you? Can you afford the consequences?

3. Test small before you leap BIG. There are times when you don’t need to plunge your entire body just to test how hot the water is. Just dip your toes a little to get a feel of the situation you’ll be placing yourself into.

4. Get relevant trustworthy advice. You don’t need to experience everything just so you’d have the wisdom to accomplish something. There are lots of people who’ve been there before, people who can advice you and impart to you the wisdom they’ve earned through the years. Just ensure that you weigh also the advice given you and talk only to people you could trust.

5. Use your imagination. As J.K. Rowling mentioned in her speech at Harvard, “Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not… it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.” Use your imagination and envision what you’ll be up against. Feel it as though everything’s already happening. Will the worst of it destroy you or those that matters most to you?

6. Ready your safety nets. In case all of your plans fail, how do you manage your fall? Will someone catch you? Will you have facilities to assist you? Do you know how you will manage the pain you will feel? How will you heal and for how long?

7. Strengthen yourself. There is no better preparation than striving to be the best person you could ever be. Gain wisdom. Develop patience and maturity. Have the courage to face your challenges, and the faith that no matter what happens, you will be able to rise up from the ashes like a phoenix. Make mistakes, but not the ones that could destroy who you are, because who you are is the only thing you’ll ever have left even if you lose everything along the way.

Know yourself. If you know you have much to learn, and much strength to develop, don’t engage in challenges that are beyond your capacity. Know the battles that fit your current strength but could teach you enough to grow stronger.

As you gain more confidence in who you are, only then can you face those challenges that will not destroy you, but will bring out the very best in you!

“Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish” – Steve Jobs

A very important note:

Nothing above is meant to encourage a person to “sin”. Sin harms both the victims of your wrongdoings and your own soul. To sin is to destroy yourself.

We should however avoid scrupulosity, the kind of thinking that forgets about God’s mercy for us.

God knows our weaknesses. He is ready to forgive us if we repent of our sins wholeheartedly and sincerely.

God does not want us to sin, but He gave us room to make mistakes and to learn from them. He allowed Adam and Eve to eat from the forbidden tree, but He sent His own Son so He could redeem us all.

“…we need to fall, and we need to be aware of it; for if we did not fall, we should not know how weak and wretched we are of ourselves, nor should we know our Maker’s marvellous love so fully…” – Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love(Translated by Elizabeth Spearing)

Why do we want to be unique?

It is a human need to desire and to believe that she is unique. She wants to know that she is one of a kind, that she is special, and there is nobody else in the world that is just like her.

It isn’t just pride that compels her to desire this. It isn’t just a competitive spirit. It isn’t just honor nor worldly profit that she seeks.

She wants to be unique because she doesn’t want to be disposable. She doesn’t want to be disposable because she wants to be loved.

But why? Can we not love someone that is just like everybody else?

We cannot.

We could not.

The fact that we are able to love something makes it more special than anything else.
The little prince went away,
to look again at the roses.
“You are not at all like my rose,” he said.
“As yet you are nothing.
No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one.
You are like my fox when I first knew him.
He was only a fox
like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But I have made a friend,
and now he is unique in all the world.”
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on.
“One could not die for you.
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think
that my rose looked just like you
–the rose that belongs to me.
But in herself alone she is more important
than all the hundreds of you
other roses: because it is she that I have watered;
because it is she
that I have put under the glass globe;
because it is for her
that I have killed the caterpillars
(except the two or three we saved
to become butterflies);
because it is she that I have listened to,
when she grumbled,
or boasted,
or even sometimes when she said nothing.
Because she is MY rose.”
–THE LITTLE PRINCE, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

People may forget how fast you’ve finished something,
but they won’t forget how well you did it.
People may forget how famous you were,
but they won’t forget how generous you’ve been.
People may forget the medals you’ve won,
but they won’t forget how fairly you played the game.

People forget their idols and their kings,
but they never forget their friends.
People forget how many times you’ve tried,
but they remember how many times you rose again.

People forget your blunders,
those things you thought made you look foolish and weak.
All that they remember is your humility,
and your courage to carry on to the end.

There are many things that people forget.
There are many things people would rather forget.
But three things are legacies that always remain:
A kind hand that touched them,
an encouraging word that gave them hope,
and a life sacrificed willingly
for those who think they never deserved it at all.