If being kind is a sign of weakness, then let me be weak. Let all the rest proclaim they are strong! I only ask one thing: What use is a strength that hurts the ones you love the most?
“When the strong hurt the powerless, they become the weakest people of all.”
In today’s letter, we find someone whose kindness is taken for weakness. But is this really the case? Are good people just weak?
LETTER TO JOYCE
Dear Joyce,
I’m hurting and broken. My daughter’s father and his mother don’t respect me. They have nothing good to say about me. Constantly negative towards me. I have so much anger build up inside and I don’t know what to do. They try to bully me and control me. My daughter’s father is only an only child. He is a very selfish man and does not think about the best interest of our daughter. He tell his mother all his business and talks to her everyday. I don’t trust these people and they are always plotting. He talks at me and not to me. He let his mother dictates his life. However he didn’t want be with her when he was young. His grandmother raise him. He told me his mother was strict and that he left to live with his father and stepmom. He said his left because his stepmother was fun and nice. He said his mother could be a b****. But now they are very close and she is trying to make up for what she didn’t do for him in the past.
She wants to control my daughter like she is the mother. He is allowing it. This woman have no experience with kids and wants to take over. There are no small kids on his side of the family. And my daughter never like her. She since in that woman along time ago. I started notice it at the age of 3 years old. She is 6 yeas old now. My daughter says that her dads mom is mean to her. She call the police on me in front my daughter. And by getting revenge she got him to serve me withe papers wanting joint custody. I never stop this man from seeing his daughter. He wasn’t on child support and serve me with papers. This man had it made. They take my kindness for weakness. She is an evil woman.. He acts like a little child whenever she is around and he 41 years old. His mother is a very difficult woman.
It’s taking an emotional toll on me dealing with these people. What can I do to not let them get to me. How do I suppose to treat them when they mistreat me. It’s hard taking it.. I’m always angry whenever he is around.. I don’t want them to control me and my moods. What is your advice on how to handle this situation.
From Trina
RESPONSE FROM JOYCE:
Dear Trina,
First of all, I would like to say that being kind doesn’t mean that you are weak. The truth is that kind people are the strongest people we could ever know. Because it is not easy to be kind. It is easier to be harsh and rude to others. What’s hard is to be patient and to control the words that we say, especially if we know that they’re going to hurt other people. And so I urge you to stay kind, and to stay strong!
The second thing I would like to write to you about is ‘choice’. It is a very important word we have to keep in mind, especially in situations that could really overwhelm us. One of the most important things we could ask ourselves is, “Do I have a choice?” Because many times, we don’t know that we do have a choice. We fail to take into account the resources that we have, the people who could help us, and the things that are still within our power to do. In this situation, I believe that you are the one who could best answer this question. What are the available choices that you have right now?
Is it an option to accept the situation where you are now and try to work it out with your husband and his mother? Is it an option to get out of the situation so you could protect your child from harm? After considering the choices that you have, you can consider what’s holding you back from making that choice. Is it lack of a stable source of income to provide for your child? Is it fear? Is it love of your husband? Is it lack of emotional support?
Many times, we have to take a step back for a while so we can see things more clearly. I know it’s a hectic world out there, there are so many things we have to do. But if you could just find some time to be still, maybe you’d be able to hear that gentle voice that will guide you into the right direction you should go.
I pray that you may soon have more clarity on the proper course of action you should take for your family. The answer is just right there, may it soon find its way into your heart. Be blessed!
With Love,
Joyce
THE SERENITY PRAYER
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change what I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Related Article:
Are Good People Weak?
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One reply on “Am I Weak When I Am Strong?”
I’m not married to my child’s father.