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Dear Joyce

When I Stop Loving You

01252014

Forgive me for I shall now stop loving you, I’m letting you go. You have already vowed your heart to someone else, and we could never be. Only when I stop loving you could I ever begin to love you MORE.

How do we know if we really love someone? Is it because of the feeling we have in our hearts? What if that feeling could only cause them pain in the end? Should we stop loving them? Our letter for today is about a love that could never seem to be.

LETTER TO JOYCE

Dear Joyce,

I’m still in love with her. When I first met her she was so beautiful and I can’t take my eyes of her. I courted her for almost 2 years but we just had a mutual understanding. I did what every guy do to his girlfriend but in our case she was never my girl. So I ask her if she love me but instead she never answer my question and she just told me that I am always there if she needed me and her eyes started crying just a little. So I said good bye to her and asking friendship from her.

After more than a decade she just appeared from nowhere and we started to communicate again. My love for her is still the same. She makes me happy and confident. I know she is already married and no kids, but for the past months we’ve been communicating I felt her love and my love for her is still growing everyday. I know that what I am doing is wrong. I know that loving someone that you can never be together is crazy, but still I am wanting her more and more. Even if we haven’t seen each other for a long time. Please help me on what should I do.
My heart tells me to go on with the feeling I have for her.

From Jasper

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE

Dear Jasper,

Love is a very strong emotion, especially when what we feel is that kind of love called “romantic love”. When we feel that love, it’s as though it’s everything that matters. Love then is all that we see and it influences everything that we do. To our dismay however, it is also this love that brings us our deepest pain. And when we get hurt so bad, we wonder why all these things had to happen to us. Weren’t we only searching for that kind of love that could make us happy?

Jasper, you mentioned in your letter that you knew it was “wrong” to continue this kind of a relationship because she’s already married and you could never be together. Somehow, you felt you could never love her fully and completely, that you could never have a happy ending.

I guess you’re right. Many times, we already know the right thing to do. And difficult as it may be, all that is left is to do the right thing. Why? Because by doing the right thing now, you are paving the way for healing. By doing the right thing now, you are deciding to be strong enough to choose a better future for yourself and for the one you love. Doing the right thing means you are choosing not to be hurt forever. It is choosing hope and happiness, even if that happiness hasn’t arrived yet in your life. In truth, choosing the right thing is choosing to LOVE in the real sense of the word. Because love is not only a feeling we have at the moment, it is a decision to choose the greatest good for ourselves and for the ones we truly care about.

Yours in Prayer,
Joyce

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