Categories
life coaching

The 7 Masks That Block Your Success

Healing all starts with unmasking our wounds. Whether it is financial healing, healing our self-esteem or healing broken relationships, we can’t achieve wholeness unless we first uncover what’s really wrong and what causes our hurts.

“Pain is unmasked, unmistakable evil; every man knows that something is wrong when he is being hurt.” – C.S. Lewis

Life Coaching by Unmasking is a method I use in LIFE COACHING where assistance is given to clients as they unmask their own blocks in life which keep them from achieving their true desires.  Unmasking usually happens in the following areas:

The Seven Masks That Block Your Success

  • masked wounds

Masked wounds are real wounds that exist but may have been so deeply covered, forgotten or ignored for so long that they appear to be almost non-existent except for the fact that they do affect the client’s life.  These wounds may manifest in some forms of defensiveness, fear or even choices and decisions made which seem to be misaligned with the other areas of the client’s life.  They often surface during problematic times or whenever a certain point of intimacy is reached with the client’s most important relationships.

  • masked gifts

Masked gifts are talents, skills and other potential of the client that remains to be tapped in order to live a full life and achieve one’s dreams.  Years of criticism, of living in an unhealthy and unsupportive environment may have buried such gifts and left the client believing he or she has no real gift to share to the people around him/her.  This is in turn connected to feelings of worthlessness, low self esteem or lack of purpose in life.

  • masked dreams

Masked dreams are the true desires of one’s heart.  These however may have been previously judged as unattainable, impractical or very difficult if not impossible to achieve.  In the process, the client may have exchanged this true dream to other dreams like a stable job.  However, even after reaching that new dream, one still feels lack of contentment or fulfillment, feeling as though something is wrong but one cannot clearly identify what it is.

This may also consist of thinking that another person’s dream is the client’s true dream.  The process then includes unmasking which is the real dream and which are those that belong to the clients loved ones.

Without unmasking one’s real dreams, one may feel a general LACK OF COMMITTMENT and a lack of motivation towards achieving one’s dreams.

  • masked relationships

Masked relationships are relationships that may be very important at the moment for the client and may even seem to be the ideal thing, but for one reason or another is bound to fail or is already failing for reasons the client may not see or may be afraid to see.

  • masked beliefs

Masked beliefs are those beliefs that the client truly has in one’s subconscious mind.  At the surface, the client may believe in a good and benevolent God.  In reality, the client may have strong beliefs deep within that contradicts this like God’s harsh justice, God failing him during some dark period in his life and God judging or condemning him whenever he fails to be perfect.

  • masked progress

Masked progress is being unaware of one’s true growth in a certain area in life.  For example, one may believe that one has already gained self confidence, but the truth is one has merely relied on some external things like job status or money to which one’s self confidence is attached.

On the other hand, one may have really achieved progress in one’s maturity in life, but one may think that the presence of certain problems in his life may indicate otherwise.  One then fails to notice that growth is often a growth in spirals.  Setbacks may be experienced now and then but he has in truth become stronger and wiser along the way.

  • masked fears

Masked fears are those that keep us from achieving many of our goals in life.  Such fears such as the fear of success may sabotage all our efforts towards reaching our ambitions.  Some other fears which the client may not be aware of are the fear of intimacy, the fear of being rejected, the fear of being alone and the fear of not being good enough.

It’s not easy removing our masks.  Sometimes, we don’t even know we’re wearing one. Years of repressing our dreams, our hurts or our many other frustrations have unknowingly buried our true selves within layers of defence and subsequent covering up of the things we can’t handle anymore.

But unless we do so, we’d fail to understand why despite our outward success, we still feel a certain emptiness deep within us.  Unless we do, we may fail to get to know our true strength, our true beauty, our true gifts which can bless the people we love the most.

It is only by unmasking our pain that we can find the wounds beneath the mask, and it is only by finding those wounds that our healing could ever begin. May you find your way to healing.  May you find your way to joy!

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.” – Kahlil Gibran

“I bare my nakedness to the world that the world may see who I am; not the mask that hides my flaws, not the mask that hides my beauty.  I bask in the light and I TAKE OFF THE MASK!”- Joyce

Categories
Words of Wisdom

There Are Many Paths To a Dream

there are many paths to a dream 2012There Are Many Paths

There are as many dreams as there are people, and that is why there are also as many paths.  One cannot therefore say to another, “Hey, follow me, this is the way to your dreams.” For even if the dream be somewhat similar, the people following that dream will always be different.

Hence one person may prefer to take the rough path first, while the other prefers the smoother path.  One person may prefer to travel the seas first and then later on build one’s courage to climb the mountain.  Another person who has no fear of heights may prefer to climb the mountain first and then later on build the courage to cross the seas.

We also differ in our endurance.  Others may get tired easily and need to find some rest now and then while others don’t get tired as much and therefore move farther ahead in one’s path.

Some people may prefer to take it slow and savor each scenery along the way.  Others don’t care as much and prefer to reach their destination faster.

In the end, what matters is how we are able to reach our own paths and how we are able to respect the path of others who are also trying to find their way.

There may be points in time when our paths would cross, when we can cheer each other on.  During such times, let’s not hesitate to lend each other a helping hand if we could.

But as for those times when we must walk our paths alone or choose one that is different from the ones our companions are taking, let us not lose heart.  Let us not think that our friends don’t care for our journey anymore.  Who knows? One day our paths may cross again, and when they do, we’d have more stories to tell and more strength to share for the meaningful journey that lies ahead.

“There are many paths to a dream, but only one is yours.” – Joyce, itakeoffthemask.com

Categories
Words of Wisdom

Tribes You Don’t Want To Belong To

By: Jon Morrow

Sometimes, you don’t get to choose the tribes that you belong to. They choose you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I’m a member of one of those tribes. It’s called the Tribe of the Disabled.

Some of us were born into the tribe. Others were brought into it by an accident or mistake. But regardless of how we arrived, no one wants to be a member.

Some people take it hard. They feel like they’ve been kidnapped from another tribe, the Tribe of Normal People. They feel like everything they were and everything they knew was taken away.

Eventually though, most of us realize that the Tribe of Normal People doesn’t actually exist. There’s no bond between the nondisabled.

There are no leaders among them. There are no rules. It doesn’t exist.

But the Tribe of the Disabled does exist. It’s a common link between all of us, and we know it, even without saying anything.

We have rules, like, “Don’t stare” or “Be encouraging.” It’s strange, but we also tend to stay away from each other, as if being around one another could remind us that we are a member of the tribe. We prefer to forget.

Still, we have common leaders, people that inspire us. Christopher Reeve was one of those leaders. He inspired us with his audacity, his activism, and his compassion. We were so sad when he left us, but that’s the way this tribe is. Our leaders don’t last long.

It’s an unusual tribe, I know. For the longest time, I didn’t want to be a part of it. I believed that accepting my membership would weaken me, like I would be accepting my own death. So many of us die, after all. It’s the most common way out of the tribe.

But you know what? I was wrong.

This tribe isn’t about death. It’s about courage.

It takes courage to look at yourself and accept your imperfections. It takes courage to love yourself anyway. It takes courage to go beyond merely trying to survive your life and start trying to actually enjoy it.

How could you complain about being in a tribe like that? It’s wonderful.

Would I still like to be cured of my disease? Would I trade a healthy body for my membership in the Tribe? Sure I would.

But do I regret being a part of it? No way!

When you learn to accept yourself, you also learn to accept the tribes you belong to. They don’t have to be rich or clever or even desirable. The fact is, it’s your tribe.

And sometimes, that’s all that matters.

(Taken from THE TRIBES CASEBOOK)

Categories
Words of Wisdom

What Is The Meaning Of Life?

what is the meaning of life 2012There was once an old woman who died when she was 87 years old.  She didn’t have any children.  She never even got married.  As for possessions, she had 3 clothes and one pair of sandals.  A peer described her as small and shy.  She looked as ordinary as everybody else except that you’d probably recognize her if you read some books and watched documentaries about her life.  For all her simplicity, Mother Teresa has helped thousands of people in 45 years over 100 countries around the world giving aid to the sick, the poor, the orphaned, the homeless and the dying.

Did she live a meaningful life?  Was she successful in achieving the standards people usually attribute to a happy life?

Let’s look at another life:

Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty. Then for three years He was an itinerant preacher.

He never owned a home. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place He was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself…

While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against him. His friends ran away. One of them denied Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed upon a cross between two thieves. While He was dying His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth – His coat. When He was dead, He was laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.

Twenty long centuries have come and gone, and today He is a centerpiece of the human race and leader of the column of progress.

I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, all the navies that were ever built; all the parliaments that ever sat and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has that one solitary life. (Adapted from a sermon by Dr James Allan Francis)

The man being referred to is Jesus, the one whom Christians believe is the Son of God.  Not everyone may believe Him, many even criticize Him, but His impact upon millions of lives for centuries cannot be denied.

Did he live a meaningful life?

A meaningful life is not the same as a comfortable life.  It isn’t even the same as having a peaceful and quiet life.

While many of us may feel worthless, many more people await for the help we could offer them.  We may not have much money, but we could have much time.  Even if we don’t have much time, we have our thoughts, our words and our many other gifts.  Even those already suffering in sickness and can’t get out of their bed has the capacity to pray for those who are suffering more than they are.  We don’t even have to help thousands of people.  We could help only one person and it would make the very difference between a life well lived and a life that is devoted to none.

Lastly, the meaning of our lives does not depend upon the opinion of other people.  It does not depend on what others deem important or valuable, but on what we consider as important from deep within our soul.  What is so important to you that you could forego everything else just to pursue it?  What would a meaningful life look, sound and feel like to you?

Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. – Dale Carnegie

“What you are doing I cannot do, what I’m doing you cannot do, but together we are doing something beautiful for God, and this is the greatness of God’s love for us. To give us the opportunity to become holy through the works of love that we do because holiness is not the luxury of the few.” -Mother Teresa

Categories
relationships

Who Has The Right To Tell You What You Should Do?

who has the right to tell you what you should do 2012How much of our stress can be attributed to being ‘forced’ to do something we don’t really like to do? As we try to figure out what it is we’d really like to be doing, other voices around us keep nagging us to do things his way and her way. We hear how we must do this and that, and how we must do it in such a way – their way, not ours.

Nobody has the right to force us to do anything we don’t like to do. Even God gives us the power to choose between life and death, between good and evil. This is our freedom, and our freedom is our sole responsibility.

Much of our stress comes from the conflict between our freedom and between our desire for peace. We don’t want further arguments, and so we just say yes. We don’t want to displease anyone and so we displease ourselves until time comes when we’ve harbored enough resentment against the very people we tried to please. In the end, nobody really wins.

On the other hand, much of our stress comes also from the thought that we are being forced to do many things when we are truly not being told to do so. What we may have is a subconscious programming at the back of our minds that prompts us to take one obligation after another based on some prior experience we can’t even remember. Are we really being forced to dosomething? Or is it just our overcritical conscience that does that? Where is your guilt really coming from? Is it from the current situation? Or is it from the past where you failed to do something you felt you ought to do?

Release yourself from such kinds of stress. The current moment is already challenging enough, don’t take with you so much burden from the past or from imagined obligations. Do something not because you were forced to, but because you chose to. Or better yet, do something because you want to, because of love.