IF MY BELOVED ISN’T HERE
What do I look forward to
if my beloved isn’t here?
Whom do I live for
whom do I care for
each and every day?
How do I drag my feet to move
when I know he won’t be there?
How do I smile
without seeing him
smiling back at me?
How do I listen to songs
now that all music had been a dirge?
How do I find my courage
without him needing to lean on me?
Long have I wallowed
in my emptiness
long have I travelled
in darkness
Yet the more I dwelt
upon these shadows,
the more I cursed
and the more I chased death
the more I did not find him
the farther away
he seemed to be
For my beloved is not in darkness
nor he in my most bitter grief
My beloved dwells not upon my emptiness
nor in the nightmares
tormenting me when I sleep
My beloved is light
and my beloved is joy
My beloved dwells upon those dreams
we dreamt together when my soul was whole
and the light in my eyes still bright with hope
My beloved is in my laughter
and in the peace that dwells upon my heart
My beloved is in the arms of God
who watches over me
and who seeks me constantly
until I’d have been found
And hard as it may
I would try
to find my way through my tears
to lift my eyes beyond the fog,
and maybe there
close to the glorious sun
early in the morning
when everything is new
maybe then I would find him
maybe then I’d catch a glimpse
of his beautiful smile
and maybe then I’d finally say
my beloved
my most beloved one
is here…
The thing about hope is that it’s a positive force that shines the most when it’s dark. When everything’s going well, we hardly notice it’s there. But when things go against us, when our dreams fade and when we see no immediate reprieve from our troubles, that’s when hope does its best work for us.
"Where Hope Can Be Found"