O God, I am ashamed even if only to call upon your name. How can I even whisper your Holy Name? How can I even lift my eyes towards heaven? I am a sinner. And I have greatly displeased you. I have defiled my own body, the sacred temple I should have kept holy and taken care of with the highest honor and respect. I have failed you so much and so greatly. I have failed the only One who has ever loved me.
You know how I’ve yearned for your presence for so long. I have yearned for your forgiveness and your healing. Yet I couldn’t come to you. I didn’t feel I belong anywhere before you, anywhere near your sacred place. Today however, I chanced upon an open door of your house, and I just couldn’t resist coming in. Strange as it may, I felt a very warm welcome here, the last place I thought would let me in. O thank you God! Yours is a merciful and gracious heart indeed that bears with lowly sinners like me. You could have just cast me out. You could have easily judged me and condemned me. You could have rightly done so, but you didn’t. You welcomed me as though I still had dignity. And for the first time for so long a time, I felt like a woman again, a person who can speak her mind and be listened to, a person who can be forgiven, who can be cleansed and given another chance.
O please help me God. I don’t know what I can do to make amends for my many sins. But I am here Lord, command me and I will follow you. I will do anything you ask. All I desire is to be able to kneel before you, cleansed and forgiven that I may be worthy to serve you. Let me speak of your goodness. Let me speak of your mercy and unfailing love. For I came here a sinner worthy only to be punished, but you embraced me in warmth and in love, clothing me with dignity and taking away all the shame that I have carried for so long.
The thing about hope is that it’s a positive force that shines the most when it’s dark. When everything’s going well, we hardly notice it’s there. But when things go against us, when our dreams fade and when we see no immediate reprieve from our troubles, that’s when hope does its best work for us.
"Where Hope Can Be Found"
One reply on “Prayer of a Prostitute”
Today I am at the ends of my ropes here, I have gone about life all wrong. I never appreciated the life I had only to throw it away for a younger guy who may have even given me AIDS. I am so scared to go have an AIDS test afraid of what the result is going to be like. I am stressed out, loss a lot of weight, my heart is troubled, I am confused don’t know who to turn to for help. My family and friends turn away from me because of what I have done. And now my biggest problem is how am I going to tell my husband this. He may as well just put me out. This is tormenting me everyday. I use to wonder why people keep talking about me and whispering things about me every time they see me coming. And now when I really think back, they probably talking about me having aids and it’s going all about. I love my Lord so much, but after all the lies I told and all my dirty ways I keep doubting how can the Lord still love me after living such a dirty life. It’s unbearable.