Loneliness it seems is the disease afflicting the modern society. Today, more than ever, people feel alone. Amidst the crowded street one walks on to everyday, amidst the busy offices one works into, amidst the cellphones, the chatrooms and the laptops, the barrier between oneself and others seems to be getting ever bigger and stronger each day.Why do we feel lonely? Why do we feel as though we have nobody to count on to but ourselves?
Is it because of our broken families? Is it because of the homes that just aren’t there anymore? Homes that should have sheltered us from the harsh weather outside? Homes that should have made us feel secure? That we have some place to go to where we belong? Where we are awaited to be received in warmth? Where we can take off our masks and cry our tears without them being judged or condemned, but accepted and honored, loved and understood?
Is it because of the dissolution of our rural communities? Communities where neighbors personally know each other? Where neighbors care to listen and to assist us whenever our chores seem too difficult to carry out? Neighbors we can ask for an extra ganta of rice, a fresh egg, or a newly harvested vegetable? We moved to cities and we lived in condominiums housing thousands of people, but we didn’t know that what we really moved into are just small boxed spaces enclosed by thick walls which no caring neighbor can ever penetrate.
Is it because of our jobs? Jobs that require the utmost kind of concentration that does nothing but isolate us in the process? Jobs that promote survival of the fittest instead of teamwork; kissing asses and elbowing our way to the top instead of helping one another rise up and grow?
Is it because of our ambitions? Ambitions that force us to climb the social ladder by creating networks that eat up our time? Networks of people who are not at all interested in us, but are interested only in what we can do for them instead?
Is it the structured ways we organize our lives like computers: creating clubs here and there, hobbies here and there, gym memberships here and there, offering us everything it seems, except authentic friendships and genuine families that care for the real person deep within our cool façade? Even churches seem to be filled with more and more activities and projects, longer lists of accomplishment reports that make it even harder for people to feel they can keep up with everything that are expected of them. Some church groups grow so fast that they require the constant regrouping and restructuring of people, uprooting them just when they are starting to make a lasting bond with another soul.
Maybe the happiest time we can even remember are the times we were in school, with our buddies, with our teachers, with our friends who know us all by heart. Those people who know our dreams and who believe in us enough to inspire us to go reach them however hard the road ahead seems to be. We would laugh with these people, and we know that when they laugh as well, they are truly laughing with us, rejoicing with us and enjoying the foolish jokes we share. We would cry with these people, and we know that when they cry too, they’re crying because they hurt with us, because they care for our hearts the way they care for their own.
When we grew up however, when we learned from seemingly clever people how life should be lived, we have left each other’s company, in exchange for robots and zombies who know us not.
Time passed by and those clever people made us watch those movies where happy endings where found in our ONE TRUE LOVE. We desired for that love. We longed for it, hungered for it so much, believing it is the only way to be happy again, to have somebody we can call our own.
But they failed us, too. They cheated on us and betrayed us. They were not the kind of heroes we believed them to be. And when they did, our world falls apart and we are left once more in the dark.
We are lonely once again, and we know not how we can ever get up again. Because this time, those clever people can’t give us another bright idea to follow. Those clever people can’t seem to come up with another illusion for us to chase. There is only one true love, they say. And if you can’t find them, poor you, you’re damned!
This time however, we start to have doubts. We start to think again. We remember our mistakes and we recognize the person we really are.
We begin to ponder on what life is really all about, and what things in life can really make us happy. We recognize our deep need for family, our deep need for a friend. Those people we have ignored along the way, thinking they will always be there, thinking what we’re trying to reach for are the things that really matter in life.
And we begin to understand. We were lonely not because we were alone, but because we chose to. We chose to move and to reach for things, which cannot truly satisfy us. We chose not to recognize the people we have because they were not the perfect kind we were looking for. We chose to believe we do not have the things we need. We chose to believe we shouldn’t be happy. We even chose to believe there is no God, the only One who has always been there for us, the One who will never ever leave us no matter what!
We can choose to believe that it is never too late to start believing in the right things. We can choose to believe that there are people who care for us, that there is a Father in heaven who watches over us, and that there are many people in need of other people, people we can reach out to if only we can believe we can still forget our loneliness, that we can still touch one another’s soul, and that finally, we can still go back where we always wanted to be – HOME!
Find hope in your darkest hour.
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