There is a question that often comes to mind whenever we try to seek the presence of God. How does God really see me? Does He love me? Or does He hate me because of my many sins?
While I’d like to keep the idea that He loves me as a Father loves His child, I can’t help but to think also that He may not be pleased with me. Weren’t there times in the Bible when Jesus was displeased at people? He was disappointed at their lack of faith. He was often amazed at some people’s stubbornness. And He honestly criticized the Pharisees and Sadducees, calling them hypocrites in front of many. Didn’t He also say at one point that their father was the devil?
If I were to stand before Him today, what would He say? How would He look at me?
I would admit that this is no easy matter to discuss and that a short article about this won’t be enough. And before anything else, I’d like to point to the great wisdom of God. There is so much that we can’t understand and there is so much mystery that requires our faith. But I’d like to touch on this subject as a start to a deeper study and reflection.
Going back to the question, I think it would be presumptuous if I would assume Jesus would always be pleased with me. I must admit that it is very possible that He may look at me with disappointment, especially after committing a serious sin.
Yes, God is love. But love is not something that is pleased with what’s bad.
“…love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.” — 1 Corinthians 13:6, GNT
“I am Thrice Holy, and I detest the smallest sin. I cannot love a soul which is stained with sin; but when it repents, there is no limit to My generosity toward it. My mercy embraces and justifies it. With My mercy, I pursue sinners along all their paths, and My Heart rejoices when they return to Me. I forget the bitterness with which they fed My Heart and rejoice at their return…Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart… when will it beat for Me?” — Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, 1728
Herein then is the key to begin understanding the mystery. The key is true repentance and faith.
God is never pleased with what is wrong, but He never turns away from a contrite heart. He detests the proud but receives the humble of heart.
When we sin therefore, we should never think that God is indifferent or that He would tolerate our wrongdoings. God is Just. But when we come to see our failures, let us never let our pride get in the way of returning to Him and asking for forgiveness. God is Merciful and He listens to those who sincerely seek His help.
Let us remember the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.
“Two men went up into the temple to pray; one was a Pharisee, and the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed by himself like this: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of men: extortionists, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week. I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far away, wouldn’t even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” — Luke 18:10–14, WEBBE
Whenever we ask then, “How does God really see me?”, let us look at ourselves and our inner motives. Let us ask ourselves this question instead, “Am I sincerely seeking God with a contrite heart?”
“If the greatest sinner on earth should repent at the moment of death, and draw his last breath in an act of love, neither the many graces he has abused, nor the many sins he had committed would stand in his way. Our Lord would receive him into His mercy.” — St. Therese of Lisieux
“…when a soul sees and realizes the gravity of its sins, when the whole abyss of the misery into which it immersed itself is displayed before its eyes, let it not despair, but with trust let it throw itself into the arms of My mercy, as a child into the arms of its beloved mother…Tell them that no soul that has called upon My mercy has been disappointed or brought to shame.” — Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, 1541
The thing about hope is that it’s a positive force that shines the most when it’s dark. When everything’s going well, we hardly notice it’s there. But when things go against us, when our dreams fade and when we see no immediate reprieve from our troubles, that’s when hope does its best work for us.
"Where Hope Can Be Found"