There are many kinds of despair. But one kind of despair that even believers can succumb to is the kind of despair that can make us lose hope in our walk with God. Too many times in my life, I felt so close to such a despair. The despair of never being good enough to avoid causing pain to others. The despair of never being holy enough to avoid failing God again and again.
This is where St. Therese of Lisieux has helped me. If there’s one important lesson I’ll never forget from her, it’s to trust in God’s infinite love and mercy. This is the “little way”, the way of a child who trusts her Father.
At first, this lesson seems obvious and easy. But if we look at it deeper, it’s something that can really save us from despair. I know this because it has saved me many times.
I’m a naturally scrupulous person. I’m also a melancholic type. It’s easy for me to see how I lack something. It’s so easy to always have my many sins before me, sins that make me unworthy of God’s love.
It’s not that I don’t try to grow. I really do! I try so hard but I still fail. I fail myself, I fail the people around me, and I fail God.
What St. Therese has taught me was to acknowledge this weakness, and that even in this weakness, God can still love me.
Here are some unforgettable excerpts I’ve noted from St. Therese of Lisieux:
“I see clearly that you are mistaking the road, and that you will never arrive at the end of your journey. You want to climb the mountain, whereas God wishes you to descend it. He is awaiting you in the fruitful valley of humility.”
“Offer to God the sacrifice of never gathering any fruit. If He will that throughout your whole life you should feel a repugnance to suffering and humiliation—if He permit that all the flowers of your desires and of your good will should fall to the ground without any fruit appearing, do not worry. At the hour of death, in the twinkling of an eye, He will cause fair fruits to ripen on the tree of your soul.”
We read in the Book of Ecclesiasticus: ‘There is an inactive man that wanteth help, is very weak in ability, and full of poverty: yet the Eye of God hath looked upon him for good, and hath lifted him up from his low estate , and hath exalted his head: and many have wondered at him, and have glorified God. . . . Trust in God, and stay in thy place. For it is easy in the Eyes of God, on a sudden, to make the poor man rich. The blessing of God maketh haste to reward the just, and in a swift hour His blessing beareth fruit.’”
With these thoughts in mind, I can hold on to the hope that one day, I will be fully redeemed from my fallen state. With these in mind, I need not despair because God can supply everything else I lack. If I should strive with all of my will up to the best of what I can do, will He not give the grace to accomplish everything else I could not?
The thing about hope is that it’s a positive force that shines the most when it’s dark. When everything’s going well, we hardly notice it’s there. But when things go against us, when our dreams fade and when we see no immediate reprieve from our troubles, that’s when hope does its best work for us.
"Where Hope Can Be Found"