“I see clearly that you are mistaking the road, and that you will never arrive at the end of your journey. You want to climb the mountain, whereas God wishes you to descend it. He is awaiting you in the fruitful valley of humility.” – St. Therese of Lisieux
I’ve imagined this scenario in my spiritual walk where I walk so closely with God that He has become the most important concern of my heart and soul. In this scenario, no temptation can entice me, no tribulation can shake my faith, and no sorrow can bring me to despair. In this scenario, I’m so filled with the joy of God, a joy I’d gladly share to all the world. I’d bring hope to everyone I meet and comfort to all of those who need solace. I’d be so full of God that I’d become a channel of blessing to any whose lives touch mine.
But you see, I think that scenario is not the one God wanted me to walk upon. And that kind of life is not one realistic enough I should aspire to. It’s not that we shouldn’t desire perfection or holiness. But we should desire it in terms of God’s designs, and not upon ours. Our spiritual walk is not a plan of our own making nor a sole product of our efforts. Our spiritual walk is one of surrender to God’s wisdom and desires.
Let me take you now to the real scenario of my current spiritual life. In this life, I struggle day by day. I often stumble with temptation and I see more and more of my weakness each day. I may have glimpses of His joy and of His power, but I also have my share of spiritual dryness. Many are the days when I feel that heaven is far away and if not for God’s grace, I have no strength to endure my earthly sorrows. In this life, I still bring pain to those I care most about, and it is only by God’s infinite mercy that I’m constantly renewed to hope.
“I believe that it is our Lord’s good pleasure frequently in the beginning, and at times in the end, to send these torments, and many other incidental temptations, to try those who love Him, and to ascertain if they will drink the chalice, and help Him to carry the Cross, before He intrusts them with His great treasures. I believe it to be for our good that His Majesty should lead us by this way, so that we may perfectly understand how worthless we are; for the graces which He gives afterwards are of a dignity so great, that He will have us by experience know our wretchedness before He grants them, that it may not be with us as it was with Lucifer.” – St. Teresa of Avila
“Offer to God the sacrifice of never gathering any fruit. If He will that throughout your whole life you should feel a repugnance to suffering and humiliation—if He permit that all the flowers of your desires and of your good will should fall to the ground without any fruit appearing, do not worry. At the hour of death, in the twinkling of an eye, He will cause fair fruits to ripen on the tree of your soul.” – St. Therese of Lisieux
