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Words of Wisdom

Two Kinds of Happiness

There is a kind of happiness that can easily make you smile or laugh. Sometimes it can even be so overwhelming that it makes you cry. After a while, however, you realize that your feelings slowly start to fade. Somehow, you find it harder and harder to remember the way you felt before. Eventually, you may wonder whether you’ve been really happy at all.

On the other hand, there is a happiness that doesn’t seem like happiness at the start. It’s so subtle that it almost speaks in whispers. It moves ever gently you may fail to notice it’s there. But if you pay attention to it and you give it time, and if you allow it to touch you and to enter your heart, you’d see how it would grow steadily from day to day. You’d understand it more and more.

Unlike the first kind of happiness, this one doesn’t quickly fade. This one doesn’t excite you only to let you down. But this kind of happiness grows deep until it takes root. It changes you and moves you. It penetrates your very soul.

This kind of happiness is not a sudden rain that dissipates the heat for a while only to leave you dry again. This happiness is a fountain that never ends, a source of water you can come back to again and again, filling your every need and satisfying the deepest desires of your heart.

Now if there are two kinds of happiness, which one would you rather have?

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Words of Wisdom

Three Things That Can Help Relieve Our Suffering

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“The role of a clown and a physician are the same?-?it’s to elevate the possible and to relieve suffering.”-Patch Adams

It is far easier to talk about suffering than to bear it. When we need to endure so much pain, sometimes all the knowledge we think we have seem to disappear. All that we can think about is how much we are hurting.  It’s as though time passes by ever so slowly and our suffering would never end.

Where do we find relief from our suffering? How do we somehow alleviate the pain?

Here are some of the things that have helped me endure suffering:

1. Person

It is having that person whom you can depend upon that helps you endure the most difficult sufferings in life. Just knowing that you are not alone already lightens your heavy load. You endure the pain with them and for them. Many times, it is your concern for them that allows you to forget much of your sufferings because instead of focusing on them, you care about the people who love you and are there for you.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” – Henri J.M. Nouwen

2. Perspective on Permanence

Much of my anxious thoughts come from the thought that my painful situation may never end. It is the permanence of the hurt that scares me and makes me lose my hope. Quite often, however, the difficulty I have is fleeting. It may seem like an eternity to me, but in truth, the pain doesn’t last and I am often given times of pause and rest.

“Only one principle will give you courage, that is the principle that no evil lasts for ever, nor indeed for very long.” – St. Epicuris

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles.” – Charlie Chaplin

3. Purpose

We can endure many difficult things, including physical and emotional pain if we know the purpose behind our sufferings. Keeping the goal in mind, we muster the patience that would help us go on. We strengthen ourselves with the thought that our suffering isn’t meaningless, that it would instead yield some good.

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” – Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Final Words

No one knows the true taste of suffering except the person who has experienced it. When you are in pain, you cease to preach things you don’t really believe in. You face the hurt right where it is and you look for all the ways that could help alleviate your pain.

If you are in any difficulty at the moment, may you find some comfort right where you are. May there be people who could make you feel less alone. May there be some meaning you could hold on to. And may you have the hope to keep on believing that even the darkest night shall pass away.

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller

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Words of Wisdom

To Be Loved As You Truly Are

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There’s something life changing about knowing that you are loved as you are.

You don’t have to pretend like you’re someone else.

You don’t have to always try so hard.

You don’t need to be anxious each time you mess up, thinking you’d be rejected after all for that.

You just live as you are.

You laugh as you laugh.

You cry like you’ve always cried.

And you won’t be judged.

You won’t be cast away.

You’d just be loved,

And you’d be delighted upon

Just for being you,

For the beautiful

And wonderful person

That you are.

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is…like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.” – Timothy Keller

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Words of Wisdom

Was It Not Enough?

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I’m the type of person who always wants things to be organized. I make schedules, I plan, and I try to anticipate any needs that may arise in the future. Being unprepared seems to be one of my worst nightmares so I try to do what I can to avoid unexpected outcomes. I really try to do my best and that is why when something still goes wrong, I can’t help but ask, “Wasn’t it enough?”

It’s so frustrating whenever you know you’ve done everything you could and you still fail in the end. Sometimes I wish I never prepared at all. There are so many people who hardly plan and do what they’re supposed to be doing but who manage to make things work out for them later on. What’s the use of your effort when your efforts have no matching recompense?

This kind of process applies not only in work but also relationships. You can invest so much in a relationship and practically devote everything you’ve got only to hurt the one you love the most. You can try to please people in every way and still fail to meet their expectations. In the end, you just feel so tired and you wonder where you ever did something wrong.

These things made me realize that there is no amount of preparation that could ever assure me of a perfect outcome. Even if you think you’ve considered every detail, there can always be that one thing that could ruin your best plans and intentions. Yes, that’s reality. And that’s how this life works.

The truth is that we can’t control everything. Who knows what people or events could suddenly affect everything you thought is going to happen? Who knows what kind of disaster or epidemic is going to change the world overnight?

This doesn’t mean we don’t have to prepare anything or to do our best. But this means we should be more flexible in facing whatever happens next. It means that more than preparing for the external things, we should also prepare our hearts. We need to have that kind of heart that is strong enough to meet failures and disappointments in life. We need to have that kind of heart that can still have hope despite situations that make almost everything impossible to do anymore.

In this world, we can never do anything to avoid pain. But we can give room to our tears so that they can unclog our hearts and make us more compassionate with others. In this world, we’d still fail, but we can find the strength to arise each time we fall. We can break, but we can be better and wiser and stronger than before.

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love relationships Words of Wisdom

When Taking Care of Yourself Is Taking Care of Those Whom You Love

There is a pitfall in being a loving person. When we picture a loving person, we often picture someone who is selfless and self-sacrificing, someone who doesn’t care about what happens to him or to her if it means being able to love other people. We picture a person who has no worries being harmed for as long as one’s beloved is happy.

While it is important not to forget that love is unselfish, we should also remember that love does not mean neglecting to take care of oneself. Love is not a cruel thing that enslaves us and punishes us. Love is not something that is unconcerned with what we’d become.

While love sees and protects others, it also defends itself. Love knows that in order to take care of one’s beloved, one also has to protect oneself. It isn’t selfish to desire to be strong so you could be of service to those you love. It isn’t selfish to think about the value of your life as you also think about the good of your loved ones.

You are not alone in this world. As much as you care for others, there are also people who care about you. As much as you want to protect your loved ones, the ones you love also feel the need to take care of you.

How could your loved ones be happy if they see something bad happening to you? Love is not only about giving but also about receiving with a humble and a grateful heart. Love is taking into consideration the feelings of those who care about your good.

“whatever you do
be gentle with yourself.

you don’t just live
in this world
or your home
or your skin.
you also live
in someone’s eyes.”
? Sanober Khan