I’m the type of person who always wants things to be organized. I make schedules, I plan, and I try to anticipate any needs that may arise in the future. Being unprepared seems to be one of my worst nightmares so I try to do what I can to avoid unexpected outcomes. I really try to do my best and that is why when something still goes wrong, I can’t help but ask, “Wasn’t it enough?”
It’s so frustrating whenever you know you’ve done everything you could and you still fail in the end. Sometimes I wish I never prepared at all. There are so many people who hardly plan and do what they’re supposed to be doing but who manage to make things work out for them later on. What’s the use of your effort when your efforts have no matching recompense?
This kind of process applies not only in work but also relationships. You can invest so much in a relationship and practically devote everything you’ve got only to hurt the one you love the most. You can try to please people in every way and still fail to meet their expectations. In the end, you just feel so tired and you wonder where you ever did something wrong.
These things made me realize that there is no amount of preparation that could ever assure me of a perfect outcome. Even if you think you’ve considered every detail, there can always be that one thing that could ruin your best plans and intentions. Yes, that’s reality. And that’s how this life works.
The truth is that we can’t control everything. Who knows what people or events could suddenly affect everything you thought is going to happen? Who knows what kind of disaster or epidemic is going to change the world overnight?
This doesn’t mean we don’t have to prepare anything or to do our best. But this means we should be more flexible in facing whatever happens next. It means that more than preparing for the external things, we should also prepare our hearts. We need to have that kind of heart that is strong enough to meet failures and disappointments in life. We need to have that kind of heart that can still have hope despite situations that make almost everything impossible to do anymore.
In this world, we can never do anything to avoid pain. But we can give room to our tears so that they can unclog our hearts and make us more compassionate with others. In this world, we’d still fail, but we can find the strength to arise each time we fall. We can break, but we can be better and wiser and stronger than before.
Check Jocelyn's books:
"Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief", "Mend My Broken Heart", "Questions to God", "To Love an Invisible God", "Defending My Catholic Faith", and more - click here.
(You may freely quote excerpts from this website as long as due credit is given to author Jocelyn Soriano and the website itakeoffthemask.com)