Love me gently, that I may not fear thee. Yet love me firmly that I may be healed.
The love we need is both gentle and strong. It should be gentle because we need to know that our loved ones understand us, that they share our pain. We need to know that they are not looking down upon us, but that they believe in us, no matter what we’re going through. On the other hand, it should be strong enough to uphold us when we need healing. It should be strong enough to tell us the truth and to accompany us towards the right path whenever we start to go astray.
LETTER TO JOYCE
Hello I need some advise on what I can do, my fiance promised me that he would stop drinking he doesn’t do it everyday but when he does, (he) doesn’t know when to stop, he gets in a hole of trouble with the law, I just don’t want him touching it, he is (a) better person without it, if i he (is) upset that he buys one he gets mad but can go without for week. Can you please give advise.
RESPONSE FROM JOYCE:
Hello Kristy! I’m sorry to hear about your fiance’s problem. He is blessed to have someone like you who is really concerned about him. Have you tried having a heart to heart talk with your fiancé telling him how you really feel? Not in the spirit of condemnation of course, but just like this, being truthful and concerned about him. Maybe you can tell him how much you really love him, and because of that love, you only want the best for him, and this includes a life where he doesn’t get into too much trouble. You can also tell him how you see a beautiful future with him, perhaps having your own children, and with that picture, a peaceful life free from troubles caused by drinking. Do consider a right timing because he may become sensitive about it, especially when he has had a drink. The important thing is to emphasize your love and support for him. You can also ask him if he has any problem he may wish to tell you that causes him to drink.
If his drinking has gotten to a point where it is already beyond his control, he may seek professional help to get out of this habit. With you by his side, it would be far easier, knowing there is someone there for him. You have to be strong in this Kristy. Sometimes, the only way to help our loved ones is to not tolerate the things that could eventually destroy them. It isn’t easy, but you have to be firm. Otherwise, you may give yourself time to think if this is really the man you desire to build a family with. If he can’t commit to being responsible for himself, how could he be responsible for his family? If he really loves you, he will commit to change and he will seek all the help he needs to be a better man for you and your future children. God bless!
Yours in Prayer,