MEND MY BROKEN HEART is meant to guide you for 30 critical days with its rich words of wisdom, answering your deepest and most painful questions, and guiding you with powerful reflections and activities that are more than sufficient to fill your days ONE DAY of Healing AT A TIME.
This book is a result of years of listening to real people who have real hurts and who struggle with the pain of not knowing how to heal a broken heart. This book has gathered the griefs of those who were brave enough to UNMASK how they really feel inside.
We don’t need another book that says we should get up on our feet and move on. We already know that, but we just don’t know HOW. And most of all, we can’t answer the nagging questions in our head that want us to find the MEANING to this darkness we are actually going through. WHY must things happen this way? What can all these mean? How could I ever make it through this? And who will be there to help me so that I may know I AM NOT ALONE? Does God really care?
- What is the true meaning of a heartbreak? Does it really matter to know that you have been loved before you can let him go?
Many times, it is not the process of separating from your partner that’s hardest. What’s really difficult is the meaning we need to give to such a separation. What will all these mean for us? Why do we have to undergo so much pain?
There are so many questions at the back of our minds but we’re afraid to answer them for fear of not being able to face the meaninglessness of it all. As a result, we choose to hold on to the relationship however painful and unhealthy it has already become.
What are these questions we’re so afraid of? Rather, what are the answers we don’t want to find?
1. That you have been rejected, and judged as “not good enough”.
Rejection is painful. It’s like being disposed of as trash, as though there’s nothing good or ever worth keeping in you.
When you experience a breakup, you can’t help but feel you were never good enough. What did you lack? What could you have done to prevent this? Why has he left you for another woman?
To be rejected is to have failed to measure up to the standards and expectations of the other person. To be rejected is to feel that you have not been loved at all!
But is this the real meaning of our feelings of rejection? Did we really fail to measure up to someone who is better than us? Are we really so repulsive and worthless as a person?
What Rejection Really Means
• Rejection does not always mean you were the one who failed to measure up to the standards of the other person. In reality, many people call for a breakup because they were the ones who felt they could never measure up to your standards.
• Rejection does not always mean your WHOLE BEING had been rejected. It may be that only one trait of yours was considered as incompatible with your partner’s character.
• Rejection does not always mean that the other person who replaced you as the third party is better than you. It could be that your ex merely found someone who is more compatible with him considering his values and interests.
And even if your partner declares you have been rejected because of another person who is better than you, it doesn’t mean he is right! Remember that there are always three sides to a story: your side, his side, and the right side.
To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person’s opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.
In order to move on, you must develop your self-confidence and raise the self-esteem damaged by the rejection. You must have a firm belief in your own self worth, in your own beauty!
Further, rejection doesn’t mean you were never loved. He may have really loved you at some point in your relationship, but something happened and that love has not been taken care of and protected. It takes a lot of work and courage to continue loving, and many people don’t have the patience and the strength to persist in their love. People change as well, and the guy who is now hurting you wasn’t the same guy anymore who took your breath away. (continued in the book)
- Loving Broken People
“We cannot love a person
with an all accepting, transcending and encompassing love
without being hurt somewhat,
without being disappointed,
without being failed
of our expectations.
We cannot love
without being broken,
yet we cannot continue in love
without being stronger
than our brokenness. (continued in the book)
- Why Healing Sometimes Requires Separation and Isolation
We often complain that it is because we have been separated from those we love that we need to be healed. The truth however is that oftentimes, we don’t even know we’re already wounded even before we got torn away from those we loved. God has allowed such a separation to take place in order that He might heal us from those wounds. (continued in the book)
- What Saying Goodbye Doesn’t Mean
Saying goodbye doesn’t mean
You don’t love him anymore,
Nor that you no longer will.
It doesn’t mean that you failed.
It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable.
It doesn’t mean somebody’s better,
And that someone else can take your place.
Saying goodbye doesn’t mean
He doesn’t love you anymore
Nor that he no longer will.
It doesn’t mean he wanted to hurt you.
It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved.
It doesn’t mean he isn’t grateful he met you,
And that you’ve touched each other’s souls. (continued in the book)
- The Door to Stillness
We don’t enter into stillness as a sign of our triumphs. We enter into stillness because we finally surrender. We acknowledge our hurts, our fears and our disappointments. We acknowledge that we don’t know what to do next. We acknowledge that we need to pause and to retreat for a while because our powers are no longer sufficient to carry us through the rough times ahead.
- There Are Rays of Hope Even In Our Darkest Hours
God has never led me through a difficulty in which there is no resulting joy that far surpasses the difficulty I’ve been through.
Are you going through a difficulty that seems so hard you’re wondering if you’d ever make it through? Do you feel you’ve already done your best, that you have fought so hard already and still the battle seems so far from being won?
Perhaps you’ve been hurt by another. Or perhaps you’ve lost someone so close to you that you wonder how you’d ever live your days again.
Take heart for you are never alone. In your darkest hours, in your weakest, you’d find the strength you need to carry on. In the most hopeless of situations, a helping hand will be with you, and things will turn around in such a way as to make the most depressing of circumstances in your favor.
Try not to think of the many days ahead, think only of today. Think only of the moment. In this blessed moment, you have God with you, embracing you, whispering unto you: I have always loved you, my child. That is all that matters. (continued in the book)
- How Do I Know God Loves Me?
We crave for love, so much so that we look for it even in the worst of people who only hurt us and fail us constantly. Somewhere at the back of our minds, a voice tells us we can find that love in God, that He has loved us ever since, and that He is the One who has really loved us most. But we doubt this voice. We feel it isn’t real, nor is the love of God which we cannot see. How can we know He loves us when we cannot even see Him?
Below are some of the things that made me realize how much I am loved, and how real God’s love really is:
1. He created me with awareness and the ability to love and be to loved.
I am not a stone that does not know the things happening around it. I am not a shell that gets tossed about by the waves, unaware of whatever shore it lands upon, without consciousness of all the beauty surrounding it.
I am aware and alive. I hear the sound of the waves crashing upon the shore and it soothes my soul. I see the sunset and I marvel at God’s fingers painting that beautiful scenery everyday. I smell the flowers and I feel at peace. I walk upon the sand and their warmth comforts me.
When I hold a baby upon my arms, I feel an ability to love and to give. I feel that I can make other people happy, and their happiness makes me glad in return.
2. He witnesses my life, my life isn’t meaningless
We look for partners in life not only so that someone might love us and take care of us. We look for them because we want them to witness the life we’re living.
How important is it to have a witness to one’s life? For many, it’s the very difference between a life well lived and a meaningless one.
We all want somebody to see how far we’ve already reached, how far we’ve already grown. It’s not enough for us to be able to achieve something. We want our achievements to be remembered, to be seen, to be the cause of inspiration of another person’s life.
With God, I know that Someone’s always watching. Even if men do not understand, even if they don’t see the good that I do, Someone always does. (continued in the book)
- Can I Ever Be Happy Again?
There are times when we just want to ask ourselves this question, “Can I ever be happy again?” It seems as though all that we could see are our own tears and we have almost forgotten how to be happy again. Happy. Could you still remember the last time when you were really happy with all of your heart? (continued in the book)
- Must You Forgive Him?
There are times when the love we feel in our hearts is so big that we’re willing to forgive even those people who hurt us the most. Is this how you feel right now? Or is it that what he did was so painful you just couldn’t find it yet to forgive him?
If You’re Finding It Hard To Forgive Him
You may be in that very difficult point where you still feel so hurt and betrayed that forgiveness is something that seems so early to think about. If you’re in that stage, there’s no need to be harsh with yourself. There is a time for everything, although it’s never too early to start trying to lessen your burdens. For now, just think of forgiveness as something that is not merely for the one being forgiven, but also for the person who is willing to forgive.
If You’re All Too Willing To Forgive Him
If you’re all too willing to forgive him, you may have to think about what forgiveness means for you. Is forgiveness to you the same as the immediate restoration of a relationship? You also need to bear in mind that in order to have forgiveness, one must first be aware of the damage done against you. There are some of us who have been so used to hurt that we didn’t know anymore how we have allowed ourselves to be hurt so much by other people. If that has been the case, maybe the person we first need to forgive is ourselves. (continued in the book)
- How Did We End Up Hurting Each Other So Much?
There is something in everyone of us that needs love. It is that kind of need that urges us to meet people, to be known, to form friendships, and to find that special person with whom we can be most intimate with. To some people, this need is somewhat fulfilled more or less with the right balance of relationships one has and has had since childhood. One has built a network of friends one can count on to, one has felt the love of his parents, and most of all, one has been able to fill that deepest void through God’s love which only He could possibly fulfill.
For some people however, there is this very deep craving that has been left unfulfilled for so long. There is this unusually deep thirst for love and attention and self esteem that seems to have created a hole within one’s own heart that became so big it became very difficult to quench it, even with a very sincere affection from someone. In truth, this hole has become a wound that hurts so much not only the person concerned, but all those with whom one has tried to form deep relationships with. Could it be possible that the one you love is suffering from this wound? Could it be possible that you are suffering from it as well? (continued in the book)
- Why Couldn’t He Try Harder Like Me?
There may be times when you feel that you could still try harder. You feel that something could still be done in order to save the relationship. The only problem is that he doesn’t want to anymore. Couldn’t he try harder? Why does he seem so selfish? (continued in the book)
- I Don’t Know If I Could Ever Forget Him
Sometimes, we feel we have understood many of the reasons why things happened or had to happen as they should. However, it doesn’t lessen our pain of being deserted by those whom we love. We still miss them, we miss the days when we were with them. However, remembering those days also brings us sorrow, because all of those days seem only to lead us to that painful moment of saying goodbye. Hence, we feel as though we just want to forget everything. But must we? Was everything just a waste? (continued in the book)
- Why Do I Always Fall For The Wrong Person?
Why do we always seem to fall in love with the wrong person? And even after they’ve hurt us so much, why do we find it so hard to let them go? For most of us, a certain patternseems to repeat itself. We fall in love with the wrong person, we get hurt, and then we fall in love again with someone who will only hurt us in the end. Our pain becomes deeper because the people we’ve counted on to heal us only brought us greater disappointments and hurts.(continued in the book)
- I Don’t Know Anymore What Life Means Without Him
Our beloved seemed to be the center of our lives for the past years. They have been the world to us, the very meaning of our lives. Now that they’re gone, what could our lives mean now? What could be the very purpose of our lives? (continued in the book)
These are just some of the things you will be reading in HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART, as with the following:
- Why am I hurting so much?
- Prayer Letting Go
- What’s wrong with me?
- Could I ever have him/her back again?
- Should you end a relationship even if you still love each other?
- When God Prays
- Quotes on Stillness
- Did I need him more than I loved him?
- Where is joy in the midst of all our sorrows?
- The Path to Forgiveness as the Path to Freedom
- Is there anyone who could ever love me?
- A Different Way to Heal Your Self-Esteem
- How do I learn to love myself more?
- What if he suddenly comes back to me?
- What if he still wants to be my friend?
- Is it wrong to give everything for love?
- Should I just busy myself with work?
- Should I just look for another man?
- But he could be the one!
- How do I start again?
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” -Washington Irving
HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART. Find comfort, healing and a renewed sense of strength amidst the darkness you’re going through.
I sincerely pray for your healing, and may God guide you through these 30 days of intimacy and blessing with the One who truly Loves you and Cares for you. Know that you are not alone.