Category: Spirituality

“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day. Don’t give the Devil a chance.” – Ephesians 4:26-27, GNT

What do we do in moments of intense anger? Here are some things I’ve realized through my own experience:

1. Flee at once in prayer! In times of anger, I need all the help I could get to be able to manage this strong emotion. Prayer helps because it gives me spiritual capacities far beyond my own human limitations.

Virtues are formed by prayer. Prayer preserves temperance. Prayer suppresses anger. Prayer prevents emotions of pride and envy. Prayer draws into the soul the Holy Spirit, and raises man to Heaven.-Saint Ephraem of Syria

2. Avoid acts you will later regret. Think of the people you could hurt, think of the damage that could arise in a moment of blind rage.

…but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out to the field.” And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. -Genesis 4:5-8, NRSV-CE

One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.
-Proverbs 16:32, NRSV-CE

3. Do not be more angry than is necessary. Let your anger be proportionate to the needs of the moment. Often, trouble comes when we allow our anger to linger longer or to grow bigger than it should. If you feel that you are the type of person who gets controlled by your emotions, try to put a stop to your anger as early as you possibly could!

…anger…once admitted, it will not be easily expelled, for, though at first but a small plant, it will immediately grow into a large tree.”-Saint Augustine

4. Focus on calming down instead of feeding the fire of your anger.

…and if through weakness and frailty one is overtaken by it, it is far better to put it away forcibly than to parley with it; for give anger ever so little way, and it will become master, like the serpent, who easily works in its body wherever it can once introduce its head. -St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life

5. Douse the fire of your anger with thoughts of love and of peace.

You, LORD, give perfect peace
to those who keep their purpose firm
and put their trust in you.
-Isaiah 26:3, GNT

If you follow the will of God, you know that in spite of all the terrible things that happen to you, you will never lose a final refuge. You know that the foundation of the world is love, so that even when no human being can or will help you, you may go on, trusting in the One that loves you. –Pope Benedict XVI

6. Try to heal the wounds and issues that come up again and again in times of crisis and that causes you to be more angry and vulnerable. Let God be your Healer as you cry to Him and open up your heart.

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. – Matthew 11:28-30, NRSV-CE

It is better to cry than to be angry, because anger hurts others, while tears flow silently though the soul and cleanses the heart.-Pope John Paul II

7. Get up after every fall. Don’t give in to despair. Rather, ask forgiveness from God and from those you may have unduly hurt.

If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9, NRSV-CE

There is an anger which is engendered of evil, and there is an anger engendered of good. Hastiness of temper is the cause of the evil, divine principle is the cause of the good… -Pope St. Gregory the Great

“When you are surprised by anger on account of some misfortune, some injury, some wrong or affront, suppress it as soon as you discover it. You should not be angry about these things, which God permits for your good, to keep you detached from the world, confident in Him alone, and above all things humble…Then when it comes on you because you see offences offered to God, duties transgressed, virtue vilified…be content to bridle it, that it may not in an unruly manner overpass the limits of what is just and right…A just anger is a fire that is necessary to give warmth and life to our zeal for the glory of God and the salvation of our neighbour.” – Joseph Frassinetti, The Consolation of the Devout Soul

“Knowing heaven is what heals us on earth.”
-Mitch Albom, The First Phone Call from Heaven

God desires for us a life that is not only full but a life that overflows even unto eternity. In this we have hope, not only for ourselves, but for our loved ones who have gone before us in the next life. The fullness of life begins right here on earth, but it need not end here. Such a fullness is meant to extend towards eternal life, and death is but a veil that marks a new beginning for us. In this life, we have many joys amidst our pain. We have many blessings amidst our troubles. But in the next one, our fears are cast away, and God Himself promised, that He will wipe away ever tear. It is then a life that overflows, a life beyond compare. Just when we thought all is over and lost, God steps in and makes all things new!

“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.”
-Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven

“If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them. They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, hand out to anyone. They are a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very centre of reality. If you are close to it, the spray will wet you: if you are not, you will remain dry. Once a man is united to God, how could he not live forever? – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

“In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! we are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.”
-J.R.R. Tolkien

I walked in the garden of life, caressing soft petals here and there. And lo! After a while they are no more, and my heart bled for each fragrant petal that fell.If every flower withers, never to return to its full blossom, then what good indeed is passing by in the garden of life?

Herein lies my hope: That for every flower that withers, another one blooms within me, one that will remain forever fragrant and fresh, never ever to pass away…

THE UNBREAKABLE THREAD

I cannot understand
how two people
who used to be so close,
whose souls were knit
so tightly together
could suddenly
be parted
and stripped away forever
from each other’s arms
mere whispers
used to draw our hearts together,
but now even my loudest cries
fail to bring you back to me
how can it be?
how can you suddenly
be so far away from me?
must I accept your passing
as a fitting end to what we’ve had?
should I accept that from this moment
there will always be a chasm between us
one that I can never cross
to see you
and to be with you again
not even for a single happy while
have you really gone away
have you really left me
all alone
can’t you hear me now as I speak
can’t you see me now as I search the skies
for traces of your smile
O how I wish you could see me now
And how I desire that all this time
that I’ve been praying,
you’re really sitting there, listening
gazing at me
loving me
as you’ve always done before
How I pray
you have not really gone,
that you haven’t left my side at all,
not even for a short lonely while
That all the while I have been weeping
you’re holding out your hand
catching my every tear
that all the while I have been praying
you’re praying with me, too
and with all the angels
in whose company
you now walk amongst
Who knows indeed?
who knows?
maybe you haven’t really left
maybe the love we’ve had
has woven a golden thread
between you and me
a thread that shall remain
as surely as love remains
a thread that shall draw us together
forever
and we’ll never ever need
to say goodbye

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will still live, even if he dies.” – JOHN 11:25, WEB

RELATED ARTICLES:

When You Grieve the Loss of a Loved One
A Poem on Grieving
Hurt Feelings Quotes

Pray, hope and don’t worry.
Worry is useless.
God is merciful and will hear your prayer.
-ST. PADRE PIO

All shall be well, all shall be well… For there is a Force of love moving through the universe that holds us fast and will never let us go. – St. Julian of Norwich

“Hope frees us from the need to predict the future and allows us to live in the present, with the deep trust that God will never leave us alone but will fulfill the deepest desires of our heart…” – Henri J.M. Nouwen

Dear God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that my desire to please you does in fact please you. I hope that I have that desire in everything that I do. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are always with me, and you will never leave me to face my troubles alone. Amen. ~Thomas Merton

“I will not leave thee, neither will I forsake thee.” – Hebrews 13

BE AT PEACE.
Do not look forward in fear to the changes in life;
rather, look to them with full hope that as they arise,
God, whose very own you are,
will lead you safely through all things;
and when you cannot stand it,
God will carry you in His arms.
Do not fear what may happen tomorrow;
the same understanding Father who cares for
you today will take care of you then and every day.
He will either shield you from suffering
or will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace,
and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.
-St. Francis of Sales

RELATED ARTICLES:

How Will God Provide For My Needs?
Fear Not My Child

How much do I really need in this life to be happy? To this, I used to say… nothing much. I believed I only needed so very few things. I just wanted to live a simple life after all, and I don’t need the luxuries many people strive so hard for.

As the years went by however, as I got to know myself more, I have learned to face many truths within me, both good and bad. I have learned that though I pride myself in claiming to want a simple life only, the inclination to want more is not really far from me. Why wouldn’t I want more wealth for myself and my loved ones? Why wouldn’t I want to be honored? Why wouldn’t I desire for people to like me?

Wealth, honor, pleasure… these can be good things, too. These can help us make this world a far better place for those we love. Why then do I still refrain from seeking them in such a way that many people commit themselves into possessing them?

It is because I want MORE. Yes, I don’t want less, but more! For even if I could possess more of such things, it still wouldn’t be enough for me. It could make me excited for a while, but the satisfaction it would bring me would soon run out. I’d still want more.

I want never ending good… riches that do not run out… beauty that never fades… Yes, I want more, infinitely more! I have this very deep desire within me that could never truly be satisfied by anything or anyone in this world… nothing indeed, except for One who is infinitely rich, infinitely good and infinitely beautiful – God!

St. Augustine was right when he said that our hearts are restless until it rests in God. And if a simple life is what we need to claim more of what is infinite and beautiful and true, then gladly, we give up much of what the world sees as valuable.

“I reckon everything as complete loss for the sake of what is so much more valuable, the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have thrown everything away; I consider it all as mere garbage, so that I may gain Christ.” – Philippians 3:8, GNT

It is not only the dark that scares us. Sometimes, light scares us more. It is not only deformity that frightens us. Sometimes, beauty frightens us the more! For in truth, we are more accustomed to living in the dark than to living in the light. And our eyes are far more used to seeing repulsiveness than to seeing what is beautiful and pure and good. We are afraid of what might happen to us if we turn the other way. We are afraid of the change that might befall us. That we might not survive the joy of too much happiness, the elation of too high a bliss! Only those who dare to look can see, only they who dare to die from the darkness can live fully into the light!

When he had come into the house, the blind men came to him. Jesus said to them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?”  They told him, “Yes, Lord.”Then he touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith be it done to you.” Their eyes were opened. – Matthew 9:28-30, WEB