Do You Desire To Stand Out But Afraid Not To Fit In?

Do You Desire To Stand Out But Afraid Not To Fit In?

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”-Fred Allen

Do you desire to stand out but afraid not to fit in? Which is more valuable for you, to be special, or to belong?

We Are Unique

We are all unique. No two people, not even twins, are exactly the same. No one else could walk this earth with all your talents and gifts. No one else could think in exactly the same way that you do. No one else could love with the same passion as you could love. We are all special.

“Like seashells along the shore, no one is entirely alike, each is crafted with an imprint of God’s hand, each has something to share, and each has something to admire and long for in another.”

Og Mandino in his book “The Greatest Salesman in the World” put it this way:

“I am nature’s greatest miracle. Since the beginning of time never has there been another with my mind, my heart, my eyes, my ears, my hands, my hair, my mouth. None that came before, none that live today, and none that come tomorrow can walk and talk and move and think exactly like me.”

We Have a Desire to Stand Out

Because we are unique, there is an innate desire in us to stand out. Hence, our seeemingly tireless efforts to be the best in our fields – the best athelete, the richest businessman, the most excellent singer, the greatest painter, the most powerful leader. It’s as though by reaching such a status, we remember our significance, we are no longer just one more face among the crowd, we are looked highly upon!

We Want To Fit In

What makes it difficult for us is that though we want to stand out, we also want to fit in at the same time. We feel awkward being singled out. We’re afraid to be the only one whose opinion is different from the group. We don’t want to feel like we are outcasts.

How It All Fits

Why do we have this dilemma? Are these two needs of ours, to stand out and to fit in, truly desires from opposite poles?

I’ve realized that these needs stem from but one need in us, our need to be LOVED. Hence, we thought that by being the BEST, by standing out, we’d be able to catch the admiration of others, we’d be loved. Hence also, by not being so DIFFERENT from the rest, by not taking an unpopular side, we’d feel as though we really belong with the people we want to please.

There is nothing as frustrating as being able to discover your passion,  your dream, only to find out that the people closest to you are the ones who cannot believe in you.  It feels bad not to be able to share your joy at the treasure you have found.  It feels just as bad as to be the only one to have your hopes up in ever realizing your dreams.  But it happens.  And you’ve got to be prepared when it does.

When it happens, it is not the time to be angry at people, or to be hurt as though they no longer care for you.  They do.  It’s just that they were not the ones who received your VISION.  You were the one whom God entrusted with your gift, and it is in your hands to share it with the world, even if at the start you feel so alone and deserted.

What We Can Do

My friend, no matter how hard we try however, we could never please everybody. There would always be people who couldn’t see the good in what we do, who couldn’t appreciate the gifts we are all so willing to offer them.

We must never let our actions and happiness depend on them. For in the end, if we follow this road of trying to please everyone, we’d only find ourselves exhausted in trying, but then never being able to win their hearts anyway. We’d still feel rejected. And worse, we’d feel we have betrayed ourselves, because we have sacrificed our worth and our uniqueness for whatever it is we wanted them to say and think about us.

God has put his unique plan in each of us, in our hearts, when our hearts are able to rise up from deceit and doubt. We have only to be true to who we are, to take off our masks so we can reveal our beauty and our gifts.

It doesn’t matter anymore whether people fail to recognize us. It doesn’t matter whether we find ourselves along the unpopular side of an issue. Learn to stand up for what you really believe in! Find the courage to be the UNIQUE YOU even if it means not fitting in, even if it means you’re the only one who is willing to stand up for your PASSION and your truth.

Nevertheless many even of the rulers believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they were not confessing Him, for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the approval of men rather than the approval of God. -John 12:42-43

 

Author: Jocelyn Soriano

Check Jocelyn's books:

"Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief", "Mend My Broken Heart", "Questions to God", "To Love an Invisible God", "Defending My Catholic Faith", and more - click here.

(You may freely quote excerpts from this website as long as due credit is given to author Jocelyn Soriano and the website itakeoffthemask.com)