Category: Dear Joyce

“We can’t start changing the world by changing the world. We begin by changing ourselves.”

“We realize how hard it is to change another person once we begin to make a change with ourselves. It isn’t easy. It’s a battle that is often fought hard and over much time. But it’s worth it, because once we are able to change what’s within us, we also begin to see a change with what’s outside of us, and this includes the people dearest and closest to us. We must be firm however, and protect what we have worked so hard for. Let us be the spark of change that the world needs by being strong and by remaining true to who we are.”

“If you return to me, I will restore you
so you can continue to serve me.
If you speak good words rather than worthless ones,
you will be my spokesman.
You must influence them;
do not let them influence you!
They will fight against you like an attacking army,
but I will make you as secure as a fortified wall of bronze.
They will not conquer you,
for I am with you to protect and rescue you.
I, the LORD, have spoken!
Yes, I will certainly keep you safe from these wicked men.
I will rescue you from their cruel hands.”
-Jeremiah 15:19-21

LETTER TO JOYCE

Hello Joyce …I was married for six years to someone I loved dearly ..He had just gotten out of rehab for drugs and was getting his life back together. We loved each other ..but he was just trying to get his spiritual life in order ..I on the other hand had my spiritual life for many years prior ..We are divorced now ..neither one of us has remarried ..He comes around ..we go out to dinner from time to time ..he wants to get intimate with me ..joyce I want to do what Gods word says about being pure ..he thinks its ok to still be intimate I dont ..I still have some feelings for him but my heart wants to do what my conviction says ..he says he love me still but he does not want to respect my conviction ..Please tell me your thoughts on this.

From Nora

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE:

Dear Nora,

Thank you for writing. I have prayed for you after reading your letter.

I would like you to know that I admire you for your convictions and for doing your best in order to live up to them. It is our convictions that shape us and help us to become better persons, persons who are more capable of loving other people. Without them, we would be lost, like travellers who don’t have a map or compass to show them which way to go.

For this reason, I urge you to continue living up to your convictions. While it is true that we may disappoint certain people by not giving in to their expectations, let us continue to believe that if we let go of our values and spirituality, we would only fail and hurt more people along the way, beginning with our own selves. By your beliefs and spirituality, you can influence others into having a more meaningful life, a better life. Be blessed!

Yours in Prayer,
JOYCE

“When you live in holiness, when you really try to stop sinning, you become braver. You become more courageous, you become a man of your word. You become a man of conviction that you’re not willing to sell out and you’re really a true knight in shining armour.” – Jim Caviziel

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
– John 15:13, NASB

People can so easily give out of their surplus, out of the things they don’t really need.  But who could give even out of their pain?  Who could be there for us even when it would no longer be comfortable for them to do so? Only true friends can do that.

“A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else.”
– Len Wein

LETTER TO JOYCE

Life is like walking on waves, where wind is blowing so heav(i)ly and at this time one is crying and needs help. There are so many things which (hurt) us and are made by people who are close to us. I wonder, what is a friend? Whom to trust in life?

From Clementina

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE:

Dear Clementina,

It is really hard when we don’t know who our true friends are. There are people we may meet everyday, but that doesn’t mean they are already our true friends. That doesn’t mean we could already reveal our hearts to them, knowing they will take care of our feelings.

Blessed indeed are those people who have found true friends. They have found people who could be like a family to them when they’re away from home. They have found those who will look after their best interests and support them even when it’s no longer convenient or easy to do so.

Clementina, if you do not see any true friend surrounding you today, maybe you can look up old friends, people you have known in previous years who have proven their sincerity to you. Try to arrange for a reunion when you can meet them again and reminisce the old times together.

If that is not possible for now, maybe you could try to look for new ones. Who knows? There may be others around you who are lonely right now and who needs a true friend, too. You could be the answer to their prayers.

Initially, you must have the patience to know these people so you’d know whom to trust. It takes time. It also takes situations where people can prove that they are true. But don’t give up. Even when you haven’t found them yet, know that there is One True Friend in Heaven who loves you and cares for you. I don’t know if we have the same faith, but I would like to believe that we could both believe in a Higher Power who can see us, who is good, and who can be trusted, even when everybody else would let us down. Be blessed!

With Love,
Joyce

A Poem On Friendship

I may not always be by your side,
but my prayers will be with you.
I may not always help you,
but deep inside you know I want to.
I may not always do what you like,
but I will do the best I can.
I may not always understand,
but we can still walk hand in hand.
I may not be the perfect friend,
I may not be the best out there,
but in spite and despite all these,
you can be sure somebody cares!

Related Articles on Friendship:

Do You Have True Friends?
A Prayer for My Dear Friend
Visiting Old Friends
Are You Enjoying the Company of Friends?

Those who sow in tears will reap in joy. – Psalm 126, WEB

The time for reaping is short as compared with the time for planting and for waiting for the seeds to grow. Yet through it all, we rejoice with the harvest and we remember no more the sweat and tears of our previous labor. It will all be worth it when we see how our joy is made complete and perfect.

It’s the same with seasons of healing. It is not always an easy process we go through. It may take months, even years. But every step of progress is something that frees us from our wounds and untangles the chains that binds us with our painful past. Let us be patient then and await our complete healing. When the time comes, we would be free indeed and our joy would be beyond any comparison.

LETTER TO JOYCE

Hi, good day..I’m browsing n d net n i came across your website. Yes I’m heartbroken now but I’m trying to really help myself move on..its been a month but til now I have not yet move on..its disappointing on my part. I think all my friends are already tired of my stories. I don’t want anymore to hope that I can still be with my ex because he has a gf already.  I want to move on totally but I find it really hard..thanx

From Ale

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE:

Dear Ale,

Hi, Ale! I hope you’re doing well today. I’d like you to know that our decision to do something is a really good place to start moving on. In your heart, the pain may still be there, but for as long as you have the will to recover, you will be able to make it in due time.

Your friends may just be concerned about you and they don’t want to see you sad. But then, I guess there is really no fixed time table for healing a broken heart. One month may be enough for other people. But in your case, it may be three months or even more. What’s important is that you gradually learn to live your life without him. As days go by, the pain is lessened, and your strength increases to face life again on your own.

I wish I could say it will be easy, but I agree with you that it is hard. However, once you are able to overcome what’s hard, you will be able to say to yourself that you are now much stronger, and that you have survived the very worst! You now have more confidence in facing the problems ahead, and your heart has been enlarged to be able to love more the right person at the right time.

Just continue in your healing, Ale. I pray for you and wish you all the very best!

Yours in Prayer,
Joyce

You may also want to read the following articles related to healing a broken heart:

What Saying Goodbye Doesn’t Mean
What is the Meaning of a Heartbreak?
A Broken Heart’s Prayer
How Do You Deal with Emotional Pain?

 

For everything there is a season,
and a time for every purpose under heaven:
a time to be born,
and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill,
and a time to heal;
a time to break down,
and a time to build up;
a time to weep,
and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn,
and a time to dance;
-Ecclesiastes 3, WEB

A TIME FOR JOY

This may not be a time for dances,
but this is a time for prayer.
This may not be a time for clapping,
but this is a time for songs.
This may not be a time for merriment,
but this is a time for awakening.
This may not be a time for running,
but this is a time for rest.
This may not be a time for kisses,
but this is a time for hugs.
This may not be a time for laughter,
but this is a time for smiles.
This may not be a time for parties,
this may not be a time for noise,
But this is a time for healing,
and this is a time for joy!

In times when I’m tempted to think I’m all alone… GOD SEES.

There is always a God who sees. He watches over us in all that we do. He sees us when we rise, when sleep, even when we dream. He sees more than what other people can see, even our most intimate friends. God truly sees, because God sees into our hearts.

LETTER TO JOYCE

I would like to let you know how much I admire you! And how great it is to find someone who thinks like you and has many of the same views on life. I have to say “Thank You” for now I don’t feel alone in this world. I was honestly beginning to wonder. But how I came across your sight was the single mothers prayer, it touched my heart in ways I could not even begin to express. I needed to read the single mothers prayer when my youngest child’s father left me when I was eight months pregnant and took everything I had for the child. Knowing I didn’t have the money to buy more. He never talked to me when he left. I was scared to death to have another child alone by myself. And people ask why? because it was never planned in my life by the author (ME) to have a child by myself. But it did happen with my oldest child. He knew the only two things I would not be able to stand would be me seeing him with another girl and me having his child with him not there. He deliberately made my two worst fears come true at the same time. It made me realize he was not the best thing for my children or my life.

He is still my child’s father as he will always be. But I have always thought you should love a woman and respect her because if it wasn’t for a woman you wouldn’t be here today. I don’t want to raise my son to think its okay for daddy to hurt mommy. My daughter is now 9 years old and my son is 19 months old, my daughter was there I had my son, not on purpose but my accident it all happened so fast with my son. Everything was totally different with him. I fought for his dad to be in his life, as people ask me why he wasn’t worth it. He might not be worth it for me, but to my son he is worth every bit of it. My son cant talk but I am his mother and I am left with that choice to make. No one else. Today, his father is currently attending college in Florida.

I live in Kentucky but my son sees his grandparents on a daily basis. I fought for my son to have a family instead of giving up. He is a happy healthy child. Now my daughter on the other hand, she doesn’t understand why I did what I did and maybe in time she will or possibly it is not something made for her to understand. And this is where I leave it up to God. So again, thank you for writing your inspirational blog about who you are and what you believe or I never would have found it, and I could have possibly checked myself into a mental hospital. Ha Ha. I know no one can define normal but some things people don’t understand scare them. I’m misunderstood very often. And was beginning to think I was wacko!

From Missy

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE

Dear Missy,

Thank you for your trust in writing to me, Missy! And I’m glad that despite all the trials in your life, you’re still able to hang on and hope for a better future for your children. Many people may let us down, even those we love most, but let this not discourage us from trusting that life still holds something wonderful for us. God loves us. And that’s the most important thing.

For all the pain you’ve been through, you have not given up! You said that your worst fears have come true, and yet here you are, still courageously fighting for happiness and hope. Just continue in faith and never let go of your dream for your children.

Remember also that even if the people around us can’t understand us, there is Someone who does. God knows us even more than we know ourselves. He isn’t blind to our suffering, and He will be the one to give us strength to carry on.

Yours in Prayer,
Joyce

GOD SEES

There are times when I feel
as though nobody knows
what I’m going through –
how sad it is, how empty
how I struggle with pain
that almost overpowers me.
Yes there are times when I’m tempted
to think I’m all alone,
but GOD SEES.

There are times when
I really thought I was doing something good
for someone I love
but then that loved one
misunderstands
and I feel as though every effort
I’ve made were in vain.
Yes, it felt so bad
and it seemed all my works were useless,
but GOD SEES.

How often have we wanted
others to see who we truly are
or what’s really going on
deep down inside,
but try as we might
we are either rejected
or passed by unnoticed
as though we didn’t matter,
as though we weren’t there?

For all such times
and for all such hurts
may we always remember
that though people may fail to see
and may fail to know,
there is One who always knows,
who knows us so intimately.
Everyone else’s eyes may go blind,
but GOD SEES.

Love me gently, that I may not fear thee. Yet love me firmly that I may be healed.

The love we need is both gentle and strong. It should be gentle because we need to know that our loved ones understand us, that they share our pain. We need to know that they are not looking down upon us, but that they believe in us, no matter what we’re going through. On the other hand, it should be strong enough to uphold us when we need healing. It should be strong enough to tell us the truth and to accompany us towards the right path whenever we start to go astray.

LETTER TO JOYCE

Hello I need some advise on what I can do, my fiance promised me that he would stop drinking he doesn’t do it everyday but when he does, (he) doesn’t know when to stop, he gets in a hole of trouble with the law, I just don’t want him touching it, he is (a) better person without it, if i he (is) upset that he buys one he gets mad but can go without for week. Can you please give advise.

From Kristy

RESPONSE FROM JOYCE:

Hello Kristy! I’m sorry to hear about your fiance’s problem. He is blessed to have someone like you who is really concerned about him. Have you tried having a heart to heart talk with your fiancé telling him how you really feel? Not in the spirit of condemnation of course, but just like this, being truthful and concerned about him. Maybe you can tell him how much you really love him, and because of that love, you only want the best for him, and this includes a life where he doesn’t get into too much trouble. You can also tell him how you see a beautiful future with him, perhaps having your own children, and with that picture, a peaceful life free from troubles caused by drinking. Do consider a right timing because he may become sensitive about it, especially when he has had a drink. The important thing is to emphasize your love and support for him. You can also ask him if he has any problem he may wish to tell you that causes him to drink.

If his drinking has gotten to a point where it is already beyond his control, he may seek professional help to get out of this habit. With you by his side, it would be far easier, knowing there is someone there for him. You have to be strong in this Kristy. Sometimes, the only way to help our loved ones is to not tolerate the things that could eventually destroy them. It isn’t easy, but you have to be firm. Otherwise, you may give yourself time to think if this is really the man you desire to build a family with. If he can’t commit to being responsible for himself, how could he be responsible for his family? If he really loves you, he will commit to change and he will seek all the help he needs to be a better man for you and your future children. God bless!

Yours in Prayer,
Joyce