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Words of Wisdom

When You Don’t Love Yourself Enough

when you don't love yourself enough 2012Years of mistreatment and abuse from the very people who should have protected you may have done it. Countless arrows of harsh criticisms fired at you may have played its part.  And wrong religious beliefs in a harsh and vengeful God who could never be pleased may have made the final straw that finally crippled you and prevented you from loving yourself enough.

Love your neighbours as you love yourself.  God spoke with the presumption that you already know how to love yourself.  But how about for people who do not even know how to love themselves? Did God ever tell them not to learn to love themselves?  What happens when you don’t love yourself enough?

When you don’t love yourself enough:

  • you allow people to mistreat you and to continue to mistreat you
  • you try to please other people feeling it’s your obligation, not because you want to
  • you feel guilty when good things come your way
  • you feel that God doesn’t want you to be happy and He cannot forgive your imperfections
  • you feel suspicious when people treat you well or become extra-generous
  • you feel that it’s your fault when things go wrong
  • you pity yourself easily when someone criticizes you
  • you don’t feel comfortable when you look at yourself in the mirror

At first glance, it might seem that this lack of love for isn’t so harmful in our relationship with others.  But how could we even have a basis for loving other people when we can’t even love ourselves? By which standards are we going to treat them when we can’t even treat ourselves well?  When we don’t love ourselves enough, we also lose the capacity to love other people.

Following are some more of the consequences of not loving ourselves enough:

  • we allow others to think that it is tolerable to abuse other people
  • we find it hard to receive love
  • we become prone to depression and hopelessness
  • we sabotage our own success because we believe we don’t deserve it.
  • subconsciously, we even reject God’s blessings thinking God could never really be concerned with our happiness.

It isn’t a sin to love yourself.  God loves you, and if it’s an evil thing to love someone such as you are, why is it that God continues to love you still?

What’s wrong is when we love ourselves above our neighbours, not caring if we hurt others just so we could get what we want.  We also go wrong when we love ourselves or our neighbours above God, for only God could make us fully happy, and it is from Him where all love comes from.  God is Love Himself.

Do you love yourself enough?

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Words of Wisdom

When One Is Hurt

when one is hurt 2012When one is hurt, only pain is the window one has with which to see the world. Everything else doesn’t matter.  Only one’s suffering exists.

When one is hurt, only his hurt is real. Other people’s hurts doesn’t matter.  They are just an added burden which one couldn’t carry anymore.

When one is hurt, one needs attention. One is like a vacuum that needs to draw all the good things towards it.  All he sees is his deep emptiness that must be filled, and it isn’t filled.  It’s like a cistern with many holes that could never be filled.

When one is hurt, one feels alone and cast away. One yearns to reach out but is unable to.  No one wants to share his hurt, and he is thus left more alone.

When one is hurt, one hurts other people. One may not want to, but one does.  Others are hurt because he has no capacity to absorb more hurt or think about others.  At other times, others are hurt because deep within him, he wants them to understand.  He wants others to feel his hurt, too, that he may not feel so alone.

When one is hurt, one finds it difficult to trust, to receive and to be loved. Everyone is a suspect for causing him more hurt.  Everyone is a suspect for further rejections and betrayals.

When one is hurt, only those who are strong in love can reach him. Only those who are willing to reach out to his darkness can bring him light.

When one is hurt, one needs healing. One has to recognize his wounds and one must see his problems as they are.

When one is hurt so much, sometimes the only light that could reach him is God’s light, and the only love that could heal him is God’s love. No other person is trustworthy enough or strong enough.  Only God’s love is stubborn enough to persist, even to the point of death and of offering of one’s own life just so that the lost may be found and the blind may be made to see again.

When one is hurt, one dies slowly.  But he who finally trusts in the God who pursues him shall have new life!

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Words of Wisdom

The Other Prodigal Son

Who is the prodigal son? Whenever people talk about him, we immediately recall the bad son who asked for his inheritance, left home and lived a sinful life. We also remember him becoming poor and miserable, regretting his decisions and returning home to ask that he be taken back by his father.

We know, too, how it all ended, right? He was met halfway by his father with open arms, taken back, celebrated and loved. But did we forget something? Was it really the end? Whoever remembers the other prodigal son?

The Other Son

People may not recognize him because he didn’t look the part. He wasn’t the one who left home and shamed his father. He wasn’t the one who lived a useless life. In fact, he lived quite the opposite. He was the responsible one, the dependable one, the one who has always done what he thought was his father’s will.

Not many people could relate to this other prodigal son. Not many may care anyway. He just didn’t seem bad enough to create a dramatic story like his brother. His life seemed boring, and he’s got everything anyhow. He was never lost, never poor, never as miserable as his brother. But isn’t he?

The truth is I really think he was just as miserable and as lost as his brother. He may not appear to be so, but his bitter words revealed his true feelings in the end:

“But he answered his father, ‘Behold, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed a commandment of yours, but you never gave me a goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this your son came, who has devoured your living with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’”– Luke 15:29-30, WEB-BE

Are these the words of someone who is happy with his life and with his relationship with his father? Not really. His brother at least knew that he was doing something wrong, but this one believed he did everything right but despite all he did, he wasn’t rewarded at all. He thought he wasn’t getting what he deserves.

Being Unrecognized

There were many times in my life when I could relate to this brother more than I could with the first. I could relate to his exhaustion, to his efforts all through the years. And I could relate with his pain, the way he never seems to get his father’s love.

By any chance, could you recall a time when you felt the same way? Have you ever felt like you’ve already done everything you could and yet you still feel as though you’re not any closer to what you wanted to achieve? Have you ever felt like you’ve already done everything for a certain person and yet that person still fails you and hurts you in the end?

We just wanted to do good. We wanted to do what’s right. But all we get in return is pain, suffering and disappointment. Where is our father in heaven then who says he loves us? What have we done wrong to deserve all these?

We have done our obligation, we obeyed all his laws, and yet the person that he rewards is that person who disobeyed him and never lifted a finger to serve him! We were the ones who were doing everything. We were ‘slaving’ for the father, but the father never even gave us a goat to celebrate with our friends when he gave that other son a big party all for wasting his father’s wealth and living a sinful life. Isn’t it all unfair?

What Happened In The End?

The sad thing is that the parable never said what has become of the other prodigal son. It never mentioned a happy ending for him, never a word on whether he got his party or whether he ever came out from his bitterness and felt the love of his father.

The only thing that ended the parable was the following words of the father:

“He said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But it was appropriate to celebrate and be glad, for this, your brother, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found.’ ” – Luke 15:31-32, WEB-BE

That was it. No hugs, no parties, no gifts to make the other son feel better. All that the father said was, “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.”

If you were in his place, how would you have reacted? What would you have thought? Could such words ever be sufficient enough to heal your pain? What would you have wanted your father to say?

Personally, and at first glance, I wasn’t happy with what the father said. For one thing, it was a very short response. Couldn’t there be a longer explanation? Secondly, he mentioned my brother again. Is this all about him again?

Thinking about it though, I couldn’t think of any other answer that the father should have given me. “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.”

The father only reiterated what I should have known all along, that I was his child, and that everything He has is also mine.

It is the truth, but it isn’t easy for the truth to sink in. I haven’t realized it all these years, have I? How could I so easily understand them now?

But I have to. If the truth needs to be repeated to me ten more times, or even a hundred times more, I should hear it out and let it open my heart to what I have failed to see all this time.

My brother at least knew that he has his father’s wealth to claim and spend in whatever way he liked. He just forgot that the most important thing is his father’s love.

But I have forgotten both. I have failed to claim my gifts. And I have failed to see my father’s love. I wish I could say I have already gotten both, but I am still in the process of learning to recognize and to receive all that the father has given me. Someday, I pray that I may finally be able to receive all of His love and all of his blessings for me.

How about you? To which prodigal son could you relate to?

Categories
Words of Wisdom

To Be Loved Like a Newborn Child

to be loved like a newborn child 2012I’ve realized that we all need to be loved like a newborn baby, which is being loved just for the essence of who we are. Not because of the things we possess, not even for our good deeds or for our beauty or knowledge or skill, for an infant bears none of these things.  A child has none of that, and only with great trust in his parents is he able to survive.

Only by being loved like this could one really be SECURE in knowing we are LOVED.  And that’s how God loves us!

Our self-worth should be anchored in God’s Love alone.  Only that is UNSHAKABLE.

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Words of Wisdom

Love Is Like a Beautiful Painting

Love is like finding a beautiful painting that gives you happiness everytime you see it. Whenever you gaze at it, you know that there is no other like it, and you feel blessed because you were able to find it. However costly it may be, you’d buy that painting, for there is no price for the joy it gives your heart.  You would gladly exchange everything you have just to possess that painting, for possessing it means also possessing the happiness that has always eluded you.

But what if after buying it, you find out that you could no longer afford to maintain it?  Or that someone else is interested in the same painting, someone who hates the artist and wants to destroy the painting at all costs?  What would you do if you knew someone who could protect the painting, but letting him protect it would also mean letting go of the one thing that has brought you so much joy?  Will you let go of the painting so you could save it somehow?

Though it would surely break your heart, you would let it go and give it to the one who can protect it.  You would sacrifice your own happiness just to know that the most important thing you’ve found, whose beauty is beyond equal, would be preserved somehow, and kept away from harm.

And so you would grieve your loss.  You would grieve for the long days ahead of you without being able to see the one thing that has given you so much joy.

One day however, you will discover a great secret. That if you have truly loved the painting with all your heart, and with all your soul, you can recall its beauty wherever you are, however far away you may be from the masterpiece that you have lost.  In truth you will realize, that you haven’t really lost the treasure that you have found, for it has been kept safely where no thief could ever take it away from you.  You’d find out that its beauty and its joy have already been embedded deeply within your heart.

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What is the Meaning of a Heartbreak?
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Love is Like a Beautiful Painting
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Top 12 Quotes and Articles About Love
100 Ways to Say I LOVE YOU – Part 1
100 Ways to Say I LOVE YOU – Part 2