Are You Facing a Challenge in Your Relationships?

Are You Facing a Challenge in Your Relationships?

Loving Broken People

We cannot exempt ourselves from the world

while we are in the world,

and while we are in it

it is our lot to love broken men.

Yet how can we do it

when we ourselves are broken,

and need to be assured

that we are loved

that we are accepted

for being the broken people that we are.

We cannot love a person

with an all accepting, transcending and encompassing love

without being hurt somewhat,

without being disappointed,

without being failed

of our expectations.

We cannot love

without being broken,

yet we cannot continue in love

without being stronger

than our brokenness.

It is only in Jesus

where we can find healing and strength

so as to continue in this love,

so as to continue suffering again and again

yet rise again and again

in a love that is far above

any expectations,

in a love that does not retreat

from any hurt

or any frustration,

but in a love that dares to dare

in a love that dares to dream

in a love

that never ever fails!

Problems in our relationships are often caused by unmet expectations. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all love unconditionally as God loves us? But we are not yet perfect, and so are our loved ones. Our relationships must always be filled with acceptance, forgiveness and understanding in order to survive the many tests it will encounter along the way.

How To Give Unconditional Love

Have you ever wondered how only God can love us unconditionally? Because only God is perfect and need nothing from us. If He will love us, we can be certain that it’s not because He wants anything back.

We can’t love like that. Our love, however good is still conditional. We want something in return because we are not perfect, and we try to get from others what we lack.

That is the reason Jesus gave us two commandments, why we needed to love God first. In truth, it is a command to allow God to love us, to be so embraced and ensured that we couldn’t ask for anything more. In that way only can we love others truly as God has loved us.

That kind of love is therefore not waiting for any condition or reward. That love is also not boastful, self righteous or looking down upon another person because it knows that whatever love it can give has come not from itself but from God, like the moon reflecting only the light cast upon it by the sun.

It is hence our first duty to seek God’s love, to know, to believe, to feel, to be enveloped in the Light of God’s marvelous compassion. All else that follows are but mere expressions of our gratitude for the priceless gift we have received.

Whenever I feel injured or angry against another, it is most likely because I felt unloved at that time and the solution is not to continue seeking it from the person concerned but from God Himself.

Relationships Are Fragile

Relationships are fragile. The reason why we often hurt more the ones who love us most is because we do not realize this.

We take for granted the people who are always there for us and we care not to be as careful with their feelings as we are with people we hardly know.

A careless word. A negligent irrespectful act. We often think we can get away with anything when we are with the people who love us.

While it is true that they will extend to us their utmost understanding, it is also true that they are but human beings after all.

They get hurt. And they get hurt the most by the people they love the most.

Relationships are fragile. It is far easier to protect it and to take care of it rather than to mend it when it is already broken into a million shattered parts.

Must we spend our precious time trying to gather the broken pieces? Or should we rather spend our moments checking our tongues, saying words of encouragement, holding the hands of the people who truly matter to us?

Relationships are fragile. They are gifts to be cherished and protected and taken care of as much as we take care of our own hearts.

Is Your Relationship Based On a Checklist?

There are many relationships today founded only upon a checklist. Each partner qualifies like an applicant qualifying for a job interview.

He is witty. Check.

She is kind. Check.

He is rich enough. Check.

She is sexy enough. Check.

But what happens when you mistakenly check qualities you should have crossed out? What if both partners fraudulently misrepresented themselves? Or what happens when people change?

Ooops! The prince had just become a frog.

Ooops! The princess had just become a witch.

Where is your relationship founded? Is it based on a mere checklist you could easily crumple and tear apart?

Choose a good foundation.

Choose LOVE.

When People Hurt You, Does It Mean They Don’t Love You?

When people hurt you, does it mean they don’t love you?
Does it mean they don’t really care at all?
Take heart and wallow not yet in misery.

For the words which have pierced you the most,
words which may have even come
from the people you loved the most,
were not the only words said about you.
Those were probably not the only words
they’ve said about you;
not the only words they wanted to say;
and maybe, just maybe,
not the words they should have said
had they only known how to say
what they truly mean to say.

Relationships thrive not only because there are people willing to give, but because there are people who are willing to joyfully receive the love that is being given them.

Are You a Generous Receiver?

Have you ever bought a special gift, worked hard just to get it, and then only to be refused by the person you were giving it to? Felt bad didn’t it?

Receiving gifts. Sometimes, it is not our ability to give something in return, but our ability to receive the gifts given us that counts.

Our relationships are greatly enhanced when we become not only generous givers, but generous receivers as well, people who accept gifts gladly, thankfully, wholeheartedly, with the kind of smile you’ll never forget.

Receiving opens up a great channel, it allows love to flow. It recognizes the love of the giver, and it also shows how you think of yourself.

Are you the kind of person who always thinks he or she doesn’t deserve the gift given him/her? What is it that you deserve? Are you thinking of remuneration or payment? Then that is not a gift anymore but a fee or a salary.

Gifts are freely given, whose only reason and purpose is love. It has served its end when it is also received in love. Don’t you think you deserve love? Only those who value and love themselves can fully realize a fruitful relationship with other people. It is only they who are also capable of giving of themselves for the sake of love alone.

Are you a generous receiver?

How Do You Know You Are Loved?

My friend,
you are dearly loved.
Even when you don’t feel it
sometimes;
Even when people fail to tell you
just how much you mean to
them;
Even when people don’t express it
the way you want them to.

How do you know you are loved? Below are some of the things worth exploring:

1. GET A HUG

Nothing can compare to the warmth
generated by a hug.
No person feels as secure, as
intimate, as needed, as loved, as
someone being hugged.

At times I forget the nicest things said
about me, but I cannot forget those
times I have been hugged.
For surely, it brushes away our fears
and turns our tears into waterfalls of
grace.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for it from
those whom you know has great
concern for you.
Oftentimes, people really want to give
it away, but are just afraid to offer it.
Such people would be more than
willing to give to you that loving
embrace if only you will ask.
So why not ask?

A sweet smile,
a warm embrace,
a hand to hold;
small things,
precious things,
joyful moments,
for the one who receives,
and the one who lovingly gives them

2. GIVE OTHERS THE CHANCE TO CARE FOR YOU.

We are so wrapped up
in our independence,
in our pride,
in our self-sufficiency.
We have built a wall around us
to protect ourselves from pain.
But in doing so,
we have starved ourselves
from the love and concern
of those who truly care for us.
The wall we have built
has kept us from
receiving the attention and care
for which our inner selves
have long been screaming for.

Let others care for you.
Ask help when you need it,
and gratefully accept help given you.

Ask your mother to cook your favorite
recipe.
Ask your friends to come over for a
pajama party.
Ask your officemates to help you for a
work you find too difficult to do.
Ask your churchmates to pray for you.
Ask the kids to help you with the
house chores.
Ask your husband for that kiss you’ve
been missing for so long.
Ask and admit your needs.
Ask and it shall be given you!

3. FORGIVE; DON’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE PERFECT.

In order to feel loved,
we must learn the value of
forgiveness.
Remember that no matter how deeply
people may care for us, there will be
times when the very people who love
us would be the same people who
would let us down.
But even that does not change
the fact that we are loved.
Mistakes, weaknesses and momentary
hurts must not waste a lifetime of
caring and sincere devotion for one
another.

There is so much
to love
in each other,
but we are so often blinded
by little moons,
which eclipse
the entire SUNS
of our beings!

Life is not perfect,
but that does not mean
we can never find happiness.
Life is difficult,
but that does not mean
it can never be beautiful!
My friend, do something
for yourself and
for the people who love you:
Believe that you are loved!
TRUST.
Have faith!
Cling on to this truth and fight for it!

It may have been easier
had we only understood
why people failed us,
why people hurt us,
why people acted in ways
we never expected them to.
It may have been easier,
but there are some things
we just couldn’t do.

We cannot peek into their hearts
to see how much sorrow
they are trying to bear.
We cannot sink into their thoughts
to know what struggles
they are going through.
We cannot demand that
they explain themselves to us
and do what we want them to do.

We can only be a bit kinder
than we are supposed to be.
We can only be a bit braver
than we think we ought to be.
In times when we cannot understand,
may we learn to trust.
May we learn to be still
and have faith.

Only those who are strong
can truly love fully.
Strive to be strong.
Forgive when others are weak.

4. NOURISH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Everything that is of great worth
should be properly cared for.
Plants left untended wither;
Houses left abandoned end in ruin;
Copper left unpolished tarnish;
Friendships left unattended die.

If anything is of much value,
spend time and effort
to care for it.
And nothing is of greater importance
than our bond
with the people we love.

Though we are important to people,
we should also let these people know
how important they are in our lives.
Only in giving do we truly receive.
Only in loving can we ensure
to keep the channels of
intimacy and affection open.
Express the love you have within you.
Let its joy overflow!
For what is love if we cannot share its
warmth with someone else?

It is useless
to tell your brother
how much
God loves him,
unless
you are willing
to extend your hands,
and be
the manifestation
of the love
you are talking about!

Take time to call your mother
every now and then.
Write a letter to a friend
you have not heard from in
years.
Treat your partner to dinner
and reminisce the old days.
Schedule an outdoor activity for
people you don’t see everyday.
Hold a class reunion after 20 years.

Nourish your relationships.
Spend time while it is yours to give.
What you intend to do
need not be costly.
It need not even require a whole day
from you.
You can choose to spend your minute
in full and undivided attention
for someone
in order to reap a blessing
that will last for a lifetime.

We take care of our clothes,
We take care of our car,
We take care of our muscles,
We take care of our garden,
We take care of our dogs,
We take care of our hair,
We take care of our jobs,
We take care of our shoes,
We take care of our computers,
We even take care of our nails.
Shouldn’t we also take care
of our relationships?

5. UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT PERSONS,
AS WELL AS DIFFERENT SEASONS

People are different.
What is true to us
may not be true to some.
What is trash to many
may be a treasure to few.
Who can therefore judge another?
Not one has lived a day
within a body other than his
own!

How do we know then whether
we are loved or not?
Through the words people say?

Some people are just not good
with words.

Through the hugs we receive?

Some people are just not
touch persons.

Through the gifts given us?

Some people just don’t know
what gifts to buy.

(Some people just don’t have
the money!)

How do we know then?

My friend,
sometimes we just know it!

At other times,
we don’t even know…

I used to think my father doesn’t love me. And I grew up believing there is nothing I can ever do to please him. While other kids would happily play games with their dads, I couldn’t even hug mine.

Until this day, I couldn’t remember a single moment that I ever saw him smile at me. He was just a strict father. A breadwinner. The man who wouldn’t even let me out of the house to play with other kids.

That was all I knew, at least, until he died. Until his wake where his officemates told me just how proud he
was of me. The man who wouldn’t even talk to me has talked much about me! Proudly!

Later, I also learned that even his over protectiveness was a sign of his deep concern for me. Growing up without getting the kind of attention he yearned from his parents, his strictness was after all, a sign of his great love for me. I didn’t know it. I didn’t know how much I was loved!

Each one is unique.
Each has his own way of
expressing the love
he holds within himself.
In the same way,
each season is distinct.
And the same people who love us
will not always love us
in the same way.

There will be seasons of spring.
Such is the yearning of every heart
that loves.
A season of affection
pouring down like showers
in springtime.
A season of intimacy and
intense attachment
with each other.
It is the season of lovebirds,
Of young love budding out of
nowhere,
Of friends taking sudden interest
in each other’s lives,
Of mothers and babies enjoying
moments of quiet embrace.
Such is spring.
Such is the season to be savored
and saved, to be cherished
and lived as though
it would never come to an end.

There will be seasons of summer.
Of adventures and events
which leave us
both breathless and thankful,
both tired and excited with the ride.
Enjoy your summer.
Enjoy the many activities,
which shall strengthen your
bond.

Yet in all these,
there shall also be
autumn and winter.
There shall be moments of silence,
and there shall be moments of biting
cold.
How we desire to forego such
seasons.
How we yearn to go back in
summertime,
and how we miss the magic of spring!
Yet even in such moments,
even in such seasons,
we can find that we are loved.

There will be times of
misunderstanding.
There will be times of pain.
A time when we have all the right to
doubt the love we thought was there.
Indeed, there will be times of biting
winter winds.
Yet even the pangs of winter
cannot kill the roots, which
have deeply established itself.
We have only to dig within,
to discover,
to remember,
to know that we are loved.

Your child has disobeyed you and went after the man she chose. Yet it doesn’t mean your child does not cry secretly in sorrow of disappointing you.

Your father has not approved of the career you desire and insisted his own plans instead. Yet it doesn’t mean he sleeps soundly at night and does not yearn to take back the decision he made for you.

Your friend did not accept the apology you made and acted as though she could never accept you again. Yet it doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss you and desire your company once more.

Life does not
disappear
in winter.
Love does not
disappear
as well.
It is embedded
in the innermost part
of our being.
It is deeply rooted
and shall rise again
in spring.

In autumn, when we cannot foresee
spring as clearly as we can in winter,
we have with us the harvest of
summer and spring to see us through.
All the work has been done.
Memories have been made.
We wish it could remain forever
in ways we have been used to,
but another season opens…
Change comes,
and we must yield.

The kids have grown up and now have affairs of their own.
Friends have married, and we terribly miss the adventures shared with them.
Neighbors have gone abroad, and we suddenly have no one to share our secret recipe with.
Lifetime partners have passed away, and we have no idea how to fill the void they have left
in our lives.

Autumn comes and takes away
that, which we hold so dear.
Autumn comes and we are called
to let go once more.
In certain ways,
we let go of a child who has grown up,
we let go of a friend who seeks a new
path in life,
we let go of a loved one who has gone
before us in the next life.
Yet even death does not and cannot
take away the love you have shared
at one point in your life.
TREASURE IT!
It is forever yours!

I remember the great love of my grandparents for one another. For fifty years, they were able to show the world that love can indeed stand the tests of time, that affection for one another need not pass away with age, and that the greatest legacy we can ever leave is love freely and unselfishly given.

I was blessed indeed to be a witness to that love for a few years that I have lived before my grandfather died. And the day he died, my heart was broken. Not only because I would miss my grandfather. Not only because I grieve for my grandmother. But more so because I couldn’t bear to witness the end of such a love.

Through the years however, I’ve learned how I have greatly underestimated the extent and depth of that love, how I have misjudged it; for in truth, it never really came to an end the day my grandfather died.

To this very day, I am still a witness how my grandmother is able to treasure the love they have shared. I am still a witness how love is kept alive in the hearts and minds of those who carry on the radiance of its
warmth.

Autumn can take away many things,
but not the love we have
freely given away.

Each season brings
a new challenge.
But no season
can hinder us
from knowing we are loved.

6. LEARN TO REACH OUT

Not many of us are blessed with a
family who has always been there for
us.
Not many of us have loads of friends
whom we can count on to

to see us through the darkest and loneliest of
days.
But few of us
could ever complain
that we have not been given
any opportunity to reach out
and care for people
within our reach.

We need not look far to find lonely
people.
We need not walk long to brighten
someone else’s day.
We need only to open
our eyes and see.
We need only to open
our hands and reach out.

How many people do you meet
everyday?
Whether you are working at a
business district, a wet market, a
school, a shop, a construction area, a
store, or even at home, there are
always people within your reach.

And sometimes,
all we need
is a smile
to bring a little warmth
in another person’s day.

There might be that grouchy man you always bump into at rush hour.
There might be a little kid asking for a piece of bread.
There might be a boss who just couldn’t open up his heart.
There might be a widower longing for a little chat.
There might be an old aunt yearning for a bit of attention all these years.
There might be an employee feeling a bit left out.
There might be a mother terribly missing her daughter.
There might be a daughter terribly missing her Mom.
There might be a stranger needing a little help.
There might be a neighbor waiting for a smile.
There might be a friend hoping for a chat over a cup of coffee.
There might be a heart longing for another heart.

You may claim to be lonely,
but there are people lonelier than you
are!
You may claim to be poor,
yet you did not take into
account
how much you can still
give away…

Mere surfing over the internet could
give you a pretty good idea how many
lonely people are out there: people
working in a foreign land, people with
disabilities and debilitating diseases
that keep them from going out and
meeting new friends, people who have
been hurt and abandoned by those
they cared for the most.
You could be a light to them.
Your messages can be the warm
hand of a friend they have been
longing for.

Wherever you are,
there will always be people
you can touch.
And the briefness of the encounter
need not hinder us from making a
lasting difference by sharing whatever
small thing we can give

Go ahead!
Touch.
Reach out.
Do random acts of kindness
and don’t expect
anything in return!

But if in any chance
you do get something back;
if in any chance, you realize
you have made another
person happy;
and then you finally realize
that you are loved,
that would be a miracle
we should all be thankful for!

When you realize
you are loved,
could there be any logical reason
you should not love yourself
as much as others have
cared for you?

Other Relationship Related Posts:

A Broken Heart’s Prayer
A Prayer Letting Go
100 Tips in Healing a Broken Heart
Why Is Respect Important in a Relationship?
Why Do I Always Fall In Love With the Wrong Person?
What is the Meaning of a Heartbreak?
Will You Still Love Me Even If I’m Not Perfect?
Why Can’t We Feel that We Are Loved?
Is It Ever a Waste of Time to Love Someone?
Must You Give Up Everything in the Name of Love?
It Takes Two to Make a Relationship Work
Love is Like a Beautiful Painting
What Saying Goodbye Doesn’t Mean
Should You End a Relationship Even if You Still Love Each Other?
How Do I Know If He Really Loves Me?
A Prayer For that Special Someone
Top 12 Quotes and Articles About Love
100 Ways to Say I LOVE YOU – Part 1
100 Ways to Say I LOVE YOU – Part 2

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